Things gamers would never have believed 20 years ago

In the 80s it seemed implausible. Now it's fact

Words: on February 23, 2009

There's no way that anyone alive and gaming at the end of the 80s could have predicted how videogames would evolve over the next two decades. We know because we were there. Sure, it was pretty safe that graphics would get more better and consoles would get an ass-load more powerful, but besides that we were pretty clueless as to what gaming in the 21st Century would really be like. Now that we've arrived in the future, here's some of the things we could never have seen coming 20 years ago.

The sheer amount of stuff consoles can do
While gamers fully expected that consoles 20 years into the future would have plenty more awesome crammed into their sexy little CPUs, inferior 1980s brains were unable to compute the possibility of consoles being so much more than just a box for playing games.

In 1989, a gamer was able to summarise the complete feature set of his chosen console pretty much like so:

Today, however, it's a bit more along these lines:

The Boss would be releasing new music through videogames
The only example of games and rock colliding 20 years ago was the Atari 2600 effort, Journey Escape, which featured mullet-haired denim rockers, Journey. It was complete gash (see image below) and convinced a generation of players that pixels and tabard wearing musicians should never mix.

So who would have dared believe that, one day, videogames would be used by such immense legends of rockery as Def Leppard (Guitar Hero III), Motley Crue (Rock Band), Guns N' Roses (Rock Band 2) and Bruce Springsteen (Guitar Hero World Tour) to debut songs? That's Bruce Springsteen. Born in the USA. The Boss. So massive the whole of the 80s could barely contain him and now, in the 21st Century, he's harnessing the power of games to release new music.

That games got so full of blood
Our desensitized eyes barely blink at the messy downpour of gore and splatter that games eagerly chuck at us nowadays. Killing baddies 20 years ago was a much cleaner, kid-friendly business - even the most 'violent' games had a distinct lack of icky red pixels and there was no such thing as a rating system for video games.

Never mind that it was the decade that gave us blood-fetish movies like Hellraiser, Re-Animator and Bad Taste, it's difficult to imagine that 80s dorks could have believed games ever getting so gratuitously gut thirsty as they are today. For example, slicing an enemy in Ninja Gaiden on the NES in 1989 looked like this:

Now compare that with the gushing arteries and casual dismemberment of last year's Ninja Gaiden 2:

As you can see, the quota of violently plumbed organ fluids has increased dramatically.

A Nintendo console would be used for playing Sega and NEC games
Pretend you're a gamer from the 80s, look at the picture below and see if you can spot what's offensively wrong with it.

Yes, if you were a gamer from the 80s there would be abso-friggin'-lutely no way you'd be playing Alex Kidd on a NES. That would be bad meaning bad. Not bad meaning good. Even the mental image of such a thing would cause a Sega fan boy of 20 years ago to vomit over his sappy Reebok high-tops.

But now the games of these one time fierce console rivals can be merrily bought and played on Nintendo's newest console. No one could've seen it coming.

Related

Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, PSP, DS, Xbox, GameCube

50 Comments
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  • helloimgaydo

    helloimgaydo  - 2 years, 6 months ago  - Report

    Michael Jackson jokes, now twice as funny. Fact.
  • KorinHR

    KorinHR  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    they have changed alot, i remember the console where you the game was a tape, took 2 hours to load, they said if it was to load a cinematic video from metal gear 2, it would take 8 years to load!
  • Geigan

    Geigan  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Mario and Michael have changed about the same amount, but they went in different directions. Mario went with improvement and Michael went with the ,"OH JESUS WHAT IS THAT THING?! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!" direction.
  • holonboy

    holonboy  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    I agree with the commercials and that way Mario looked did change a lot.
  • WaywardRenegade

    WaywardRenegade  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    awesome article

    LAST!

    ReCaptcha: male-dominated point
  • Sonneilon

    Sonneilon  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Michael Jackson! EEK!
  • tommy631

    tommy631  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Very good article i liked the dog balls and ice cream part lol
  • Kang81

    Kang81  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Crap!! that was meant to be LMAO. Damn large fingers!!
  • Kang81

    Kang81  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    "And early gaming man would have had a mental breakdown if he'd known that in the future he'd have to suffer mandatory installs that would take upwards of 20 minutes. The approximate equivalent of four masturbations."

    I know it's a repeateded comment but who cares!

    LMA)---Nice one!
  • reyalejandro13

    reyalejandro13  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Yeah, I have a relative who hasn't played games in ages. He decided to try playing Brawl with me. We were playing through SSE, and he saw Sonic in that one cutscene. I heard him in another room, ranting to himself.

    @ Red: Mario 64 is still an epic game. I like it better than most f the games that I own.

    Recaptcha is weird. 11)The Chanler. wtf?
  • ELpork

    ELpork  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Jacko's nose gets smaller, Mario's gets bigger.
  • deathrebellion

    deathrebellion  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    lolz @ loadin times
  • WaffleLeech

    WaffleLeech  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    The Xbox 360 commercial tagline "Jump In" Is reffering to Xbox 360's relatively large install base and teeming online community. They are asking you it and to JUMP IN, get it? Ehh...? Ehhh...?
  • understudybass

    understudybass  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    jump in...get it? they're jumping in the rope? it's poor marketing thought you're right.
  • nitrocole

    nitrocole  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    People were so primitive back in the day...
  • Defguru7777

    Defguru7777  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Gaming's changed a hell of a lot since just the 90s. Of coarse that doesn't change the fact that all the kids in my school still mock me for my hobby.
  • GoldenMe

    GoldenMe  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Angry riodoku is angry....
  • riodoku79

    riodoku79  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    ...that 360 commercial made no sense at all...

    @rybell

    I don't know how many times i have to fucking say this...the "imagine" series is ubisoft's not nintendo's. Why are there so many fucking idiots on this site?
  • Red

    Red  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    What's funny is that I was just thinking to myself earlier today how funny it was that people thought games would never get better than on Mario 64. There was an article in Nintendo Power I think when I was a kid, and the question posed to the reader basically was, "Will Mario 64 still be considered the greatest game ever made in the next 10 years?"

    Hah...
  • NelosAngelos

    NelosAngelos  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Good god MJ!! Mario has aged beautifully compared to him! Hell a tightly coiled pile of dog shit left on the grass in the baking sun for 20 years would age better then the king of pop.
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