The worst dates in games

Happy effing Valentine’s Day!

Instead, we%26rsquo;re going to celebrate the upcoming Hallmark holiday with some of the worst dates in games. Join us for a trip through the most embarrassing, uncomfortable, and depressing instances of romance gone wrong in games. If we%26rsquo;re lucky, we may even get to spoil a few endings for you in the process. Oh yeah, and happy effing Valentine%26rsquo;s Day!

You know that Wile E. Coyote will not catch the Road Runner. You know this, just like you know that any videogame date involving a man named Larry is doomed to fail. In this respect, Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude follows its predecessor%26rsquo;s pattern to a tee. It stars Larry Laffer%26rsquo;s nephew, Larry Lovage. He%26rsquo;s just as horny as his VGA forefather, but his dates are just as painful to play through as they were in the days of DOS.

Here%26rsquo;s what an average date is like in Magna Cum Laude. Notice the liberal use of lusty loading screens.


Above: Try talking to her and pilot your sperm past the obstacles


Above: Look at a loading screen


Above: Try talking to her. Again


Above: Look at a loading screen. Again


Above: Play a bad minigame. This one involves handing out fliers


Above: Look at ANOTHER loading screen


Above: Play ANOTHER bad minigame. This one involves painting the testicles on this bull statue blue. Some refer to this literary device as %26lsquo;foreshadowing%26rsquo;


Above: Look at ANOTHER loading screen


Above: We thought Larry was a man of action. Time to talk again


Above: We believe this is the fifth loading screen you%26rsquo;ve been exposed to so far


Above: If you were hoping for another bad minigame, your wish will be granted. Escape from the scientists with a horny monkey


Above: Oh. My. GOD! It%26rsquo;s another loading screen. At least this one%26rsquo;s different


Above: This is it, you%26rsquo;ve got what%26rsquo;s-her-face in your room. This is Larry%26rsquo;s moment to get lucky. Right?


Above: Oh no! Foiled by a masturbating monkey who ejaculates on what%26rsquo;s-her-face%26rsquo;s feet. C%26rsquo;mon. Who didn%26rsquo;t see that coming!


Above: One last loading screen to rub it in before you can save your game

We recommend