Forget babalities. These are the new finishers Mortal Kombat X REALLY needs

Finish him!

Amateur chiropractors of Earthrealm rejoice! Mortal Kombat X is almost upon us, bringing with it a whole new slew of spine-shattering Fatalities. But is that still enough match-ending gimmickry to compete, 23 years after Sub-Zero first tore off a hapless head? MK3's Brutalities are making their comeback in MKX, but with Friendship and Babality finishers currently nowhere to be seen, we could do with a bit more variety.

What these fight-ending 'konclusions' really need is a good old kick up the bum. Metaphorically speaking, of course. No-one needs to see Sub-Zero's anus collapsing via slow-mo x-ray. Give us some madcap variety, NetherRealm! Crack open a dictionary, thumb your way through, find something that the MK announcer would love to utter - preferably ending in 'ity' - and have at it! That's what this big list is all about. More exciting climaxes than an evening spent at Hustler HQ Enjoy.

Absurdity!

Player One hands Player Two a bowling ball entirely composed of soap slivers and signed photos of MC Hammer, served in a man's hat.

Ambiguity!

Player One dons the costume of a Southern Bavarian pig farmer, proceeds to perform a lengthy and poorly choreographed interpretive dance number.

Biodiversity

Player One treats his enemy to a nice day out at the wildlife park, telling him it's a petting zoo

Electricity!

Player One straps his foe with a lifelike Thomas Edison mask, before summoning up the vengeful spirit of Nikola Tesla. Let the genital-shocking shenanigans begin!

Exclusivity!

Player One invites their opponent to a swanky new club, but 'forgets' to add them to the guest list.

Facility!

Player One wheels out an old CRT TV and a Nintendo 64. They opt to settle their differences with a single game of GoldenEye. No Oddjobs.

Flaccidity!

Player One can't quite seem to advance up the 'living tower'. *winking intensifies*

Fraternity!

Player One forces Player Two to perform several humiliating rituals. It later turns out that 'Tau Psi Alpha Tau' isn't a real frat at all.

Generosity!

Player One offers Player Two a place to stay, at least until he can get back on his feet. Also, Player One just sheared him in half.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

When he's not busy saving small animals from dangerous brush fires, Sam enjoys writing about the weird world of video games. All-time favourites include Half-Life 2, Knights of the Old Republic, GTA: Vice City and Final Fantasy 10. Last year, Sam finally succeeded in besting Rayman 1 for PlayStation, leaving his life utterly without meaning.
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