Solid Snake doing mundane, unexciting jobs
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"I think it's time we looked for a new path in life"
At the end of Metal Gear Solid, Snake was all ready to give up the stealth killing in favour of the quiet life. It didn't quite work out that way, but what if it had? We got thinking the other day about how his life could have gone if he'd followed through with that desire rather than setting up Philanthropy. And it amused us, so we started Photoshopping it up.
That's the official excuse for this feature anyway. We might also have found ourselves laughing for far too long at the idea of slide three during a features meeting a couple of weeks ago and decided to go with it. But we couldn't possibly officially confirm or deny the occurrence of such an event. Either way, here's a whole bunch of mundane jobs that Solid Snake could do. And yes, we're aware that some of these images feature Big Boss, but that's okay because... Look! Look over there! Quick, before it disappears!
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Mechanic
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Scullery maid
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Cleaner
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Window cleaner
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Warehouse operative
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Road leveller
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Zoo tour guide
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"A new purpose"
So there's our depiction of one of gaming's best-trained military operatives using his skills in much less stressful surroundings. But are there any other mundane jobs you think Snake could apply himself to? Or any other game heroes you think could excel at the quiet life? Let us know.
And while you're here, check out some of our related content. 10 reasons why having a real bionic arm would be the best thing ever would be a good start, as would 9 unfinished video game stories (and how we'd finish them).
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JMarsella09 - May 14, 2013 6:02 p.m.
That was the dumbest thing I've read in a long time, and yet I love it so much. -
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alex-roy-bristol - May 14, 2013 10:28 a.m.
F#%king GREAT article GR! I laughed out loud at literally ALL of them! <3 -
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Rhymenocerous - May 14, 2013 9:31 a.m.
I am totally going to hide under a cardboard box at work tomorrow - hope I don't get sacked. Wish me luck. -
BladedFalcon - May 14, 2013 8:15 a.m.
Heh, short but sweet an to the point, loved these! specially the cleaner and warehouse operative ones XD -
Rub3z - May 14, 2013 7:19 a.m.
You know what Snake would really, really do well with? History teacher. Just think... every single week day, he has at least an hour or two of which he can monologue about the politics and the ramifications of war and the decisions made by those in power to a captive audience. It's perfect for him. -
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taokaka - May 14, 2013 4:55 a.m.
Let me try, snake as a commenter on Gamesradar In this solemn hour it is a consolation to recall and to dwell upon our repeated efforts for peace. All have been ill-starred, but all have been faithful and sincere. This is of the highest moral value--and not only moral value, but practical value--at the present time, because the wholehearted concurrence of scores of millions of men and women, whose co-operation is indispensable and whose comradeship and brotherhood are indispensable, is the only foundation upon which the trial and tribulation of modern war can be endured and surmounted. This moral conviction alone affords that ever-fresh resilience which renews the strength and energy of people in long, doubtful and dark days. Outside, the storms of war may blow and the lands may be lashed with the fury of its gales, but in our own hearts this Sunday morning there is peace. Our hands may be active, but our consciences are at rest. -
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THETHINGABOUT - May 15, 2013 2:57 a.m.
Commenting. Commenting has changed. It's not even about opinions, learning, or identity, it's an endless series of proxy karma and thumbs-up fought by trolls and gamers. Commenting, and its vast assimilation of the gaming community, has become an irrational, bubbling cesspool of transacted attention. Commenting has changed. ID-tagged gamers use ID-tagged devices, play on ID-tagged consoles. The thirst for karma and thumbs-up inside their minds debilitate but control their actions online. Genetic control.. Information control.. Emotion control.. Battlefield 3 control. Everything is monitored, kept under control by Hollander Cooper. Commenting has changed. The age of banning Tr1p-T0e-Fan is now the age of control, averting trolling from the likes of he and tehtimeisnow. And he who controls the comments section, controls history. Commenting has changed. And when the comments section is under total control... Commenting becomes routine. -
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rob619 - May 15, 2013 3:32 a.m.