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Six videogame plot twists you totally saw coming

Sometimes, a game’s plotline can surprise you. Awhile back, we posted a story called the top 7 games with mega plot twists you never saw coming that showcased seven brilliant “gotcha!” moments in gaming history. This is not that story. No, this story is a celebration of the unsubtle and clumsy, a compilation of those games whose plot twists were so thinly veiled, so heavy-handedly, elbow-in-the-ribs foreshadowed, that everyone and their grandmother figured it out ten minutes in. The only people fooled by these swerves were people who called it, but second guessed themselves, thinking, “Nah, it can’t be that stupid and obvious, can it?”

Yes it can, friends. Yes. It can.

One last thing before we dive in (just in case it isn’t obvious)…


Uncharted 2: Among Thieves


Above: Nathan “Suction-cup-fingers” Drake 

The Situation: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves is the second grand adventure of everybody’s favorite smart-mouthed, mercenary-murdering rapscallion – Nathan Drake. The story begins when Drake is approached by Harry Flynn – a long time buddy and past partner in crime, apparently – and a hot Australian chick named Chloe Frazer. The two present Nate with an offer he can’t refuse: The chance to steal a Mongolian oil lamp that just may lead them to the sunken fleet of Marco Polo. Oh, and there’s lots of treasure on said fleet…

The Twist: Harry Flynn is a backstabbing douche bag who double-crosses Drake once he has the treasure map.

Above: Honestly, Nate – this guy wasn’t suspicious to you? 

Why You Saw it Coming: Ah, betrayal plot twist, our old friend. We meet again. Take a look at any major game release (i.e. Modern Warfare 2, Dead Space, The Saboteur, etc.) and it’s as if game developers have to meet some sort of industry-enforced betrayal quota. The whole instance in Uncharted 2 wouldn’t have been so bad if there had at least been some better foreshadowing. A single red herring would have been nice. But there weren’t any.

Which makes it all the more unbelievable when Drake puts on a shocked, doe-eyed expression when the bastard Flynn grabs the map and books it. You’re both career criminals and you didn’t see this coming, Drake? The guy looks like a cross between some sort of English version of Christian Slater and Satan, and has a smile that could make a Mafia hit man nervous. The only real shock is that he had the courtesy to wait a full 45 minutes before shoving the knife in your back.


Bayonetta


Above: More, please 

The Situation: Imagine female sexuality that’s so intense it can bend the space-time continuum, and then punch yourself in the groin two or three times. That is Bayonetta’s plot. Bayonetta is an amnesiac witch who uses her magical hair powers to dispatch angels. We’d love to give you more contexts for this; however, we lack the high-powered pneumatic drill necessary to pierce the convoluted mess that is Bayonetta’s storyline. During her travels, she rescues a small girl named Cereza from an angel attack. The girl calls Bayonetta “mummy” and shows a natural aptitude for magic…

The Twist: Cereza is actually Bayonetta as a child.

Why You Saw it Coming: Umm…well, let’s see. The game pulls this little girl out of nowhere, angels are almost irresistibly drawn to her, she rocks a pair of stylish frames, and sports a hair length that borders on the inexplicable. Oh, and we actually see her develop a love of lollipops, which are practically a fashion accessory to the grown-up Bayonetta.

Sure, the game tries to throw you off by having the kid call Bayonetta “mummy,” but you already know the sultry witch has been trapped in a coffin for the better part of five centuries. That doesn’t offer many opportunities to make babies. You may generally not understand what the hell is going on or why the hell it’s going on, but you’ll see this one coming from a mile away. Even Bayonetta didn’t so much as bat an eye when she figured out who the kid was. Whatever – it’s magic.

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63 comments

  • EffinChrys - December 3, 2010 12:35 a.m.

    ... Stupid Bayonetta is STILL confusing. Nice list.
  • Kapwan - December 3, 2010 12:43 a.m.

    You guys should have made this a top 7. I'd say the major plot twist in Black Ops was telegraphed pretty well. The ending credits plot twist was just dumb though.
  • Helios - December 3, 2010 12:45 a.m.

    I must be an idiot, because I did not at all foresee that twist in Dead Space. Sure, I always thought the encounters with her were a bit odd (except for the ones on the screens; those were just creepy), but I always thought that was part of Dead Space's weirdness/creepiness. Oh well. (PS. I'm sure you know this, but Celeste isn't the only other runner in Mirror's Edge.)
  • Mortified_Cow - December 3, 2010 12:48 a.m.

    How bout Army of Two, with the "Your boss and the company you work for is really evil and using you for his own gains" ending. I never saw that one coming. I mean, who ever heard of an evil corporation with its own private army in a video game before. (YAY Sarcasm)
  • AltairFoggz - December 3, 2010 12:49 a.m.

    WTF. I didn't see the Assassin's Creed twist. And I am the main character. :(
  • ApplePieHitlerStevenson - December 3, 2010 12:52 a.m.

    Ya didn't see the Dead Space one either
  • oufour - December 3, 2010 1:02 a.m.

    @Altairfoggz really? his ominous tone and odd abilities didn't make you slightly suspicious? given that the assassin's continue into AC2 and i didn't beat ac1 till after 2 i was a little thrown off, but i still figured it out WAY too early.
  • mrm1138 - December 3, 2010 1:17 a.m.

    Was Isaac seeing Nicole because he was crazy or because the Marker was putting thoughts into his head? Quite honestly, I felt it was the latter because of the instructions she keeps giving him. I'm somewhat loath to admit that I read the Dead Space novel Martyr, and it presents the idea that the Marker gives people visions of dead relatives and friends so as to influence them. (Strangely, though, it seems to be fairly schizophrenic about its intentions, sometimes telling the people under its influence that it should be excavated so as to bring about Convergence or buried because it's incredibly dangerous. That seems to suggest that within the Marker are two forces, one of which is actively attempting to suppress the other in the interest of keeping the universe safe.)
  • gamingfreak - December 3, 2010 2:03 a.m.

    I can always see a plot twist coming. Except for MGS2 and 4, but that was because I was so confused that I gave up trying to understand them.
  • AGENTJORRRG - December 3, 2010 2:12 a.m.

    I always look at that second mirrors edge picture as if her arm is flying onto her at the elbow and attaching.
  • sleepy92ismypsn - December 3, 2010 2:14 a.m.

    Whoa, I've only played 1 game on this list. This article is not for me.
  • batmanboy11 - December 3, 2010 2:14 a.m.

    Good list. Also, the Assassin's Creed twist was painfully obviously to me from pretty early on in the game
  • brettjohnson - December 3, 2010 2:23 a.m.

    I saw the twists in the Golden Sun games coming. Whether it was the one where you find out that Felix and the warriors from Prox were actually good or whether it was where you find out the Doom Dragon was made of your loved ones. Maybe the one in Dragon Quest Monsters Jokers also. Anything called Darkonium is clearly bad.
  • KnightDehumidifier - December 3, 2010 2:38 a.m.

    The most painful has to be Mega Man 6. "Who is this Mr. X, who stole all these robot masters and programmed them for evil? Clearly he's as fiendish as Dr. Wily, who failed to beat the blue bomber after all these years...FUCK IT'S STILL HIM AGAIN! C'MON! FUCK YOU CAPCOM!"
  • Yeager1122 - December 3, 2010 2:46 a.m.

    Crackdown where the agency is actually the bad guy i saw that one coming pretty early in the game.
  • DreamWeaverPL - December 3, 2010 3:05 a.m.

    You are wrong about Dead Space and Silent Hill. And it pisses me off.
  • g4m3rk1dd - December 3, 2010 3:08 a.m.

    you left out FF13...vanille and dajh? fang just turning at the end? you sir are a slacker :(
  • g4m3rk1dd - December 3, 2010 3:11 a.m.

    adding on to my previous comment that whole game was filled with plot twists we saw comming :| THE DAMNED BIRD FOR GODS SAKES
  • Cyberninja - December 3, 2010 3:27 a.m.

    what about the disgaea games theirs an huge twist in each game.
  • scrimbleshanks - December 3, 2010 3:29 a.m.

    How about Gears of war 2 where Dom had to kill his wife? Wouldn't suprize me if Anaya carks it in Gears 3 either.

Showing 1-20 of 63 comments

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