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  1. Games
  2. Fighting
  3. Mortal Kombat

Ridiculous things characters say during life-or-death battles

Features
By Ryan Taljonick published 1 May 2013

Pretty much no one would actually say these things in a real to-the-death fight

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Speak now or forever hold your peace

Speak now or forever hold your peace

Countless hours of focus and skill have brought you to this point. You're embedded deep behind enemy lines, with your pistol the only thing keeping you alive. Checking your ammo counter, you realize you only have a few bullets left. Better make 'em count, kid. Then, just as you're about to leave the safety of cover, a guard taunts you--a very likely situation in a to-the-death battle. But as the taunt escapes the guard's virtual lips, you realize his word choice is a bit... strange. Nonsensical, even.

"Hey idiot, I can do 1,000 push-ups, but I'll be pushing you down six feet under!" What? Why would he say that? Surely the guard knows he's about to be killed? Sometimes battle taunts add a layer of immersion to combat-heavy games; other times, they feel so bizarre and out of place that we can't help but think, "what the hell?" The following are some of the stranger combat taunts video game characters say during life-or-death encounters.

Page 1 of 18
Page 1 of 18
Crysis 3

Crysis 3

"The entity known as Prophet--that's you, asshole!--we have you in our sights." (CELL Guards)

Page 2 of 18
Page 2 of 18
Borderlands 2

Borderlands 2

"You're gonna be my new meat bicycle!" (Psycho)

Page 3 of 18
Page 3 of 18
Xenoblade Chronicles

Xenoblade Chronicles

"It's Reyn time!" (Reyn)

Page 4 of 18
Page 4 of 18
Rainbow Six Vegas 2

Rainbow Six Vegas 2

"Would it help if I ran into the bullets!?" (Terrorists)

Page 5 of 18
Page 5 of 18
Saints Row: The Third

Saints Row: The Third

"Cover my black ass!" (Luchadores gang member)

Page 6 of 18
Page 6 of 18
X-Men Arcade

X-Men Arcade

"X-Men, welcome to DIE!" (Magneto)

Page 7 of 18
Page 7 of 18
Mortal Kombat

Mortal Kombat

"It's official: You suck." (Shao Kahn)

Page 8 of 18
Page 8 of 18
Final Fantasy

Final Fantasy

"I, Garland, will knock you all down!" (Garland)

Page 9 of 18
Page 9 of 18
Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

"Son, you are writing checks your butt will find uncashable! Are you hearing me? Your backside will be escorted from the bank! You will find this humiliating!" (Soldier)

Page 10 of 18
Page 10 of 18
Def Jam: Fight for New York

Def Jam: Fight for New York

"I'mma take your tongue out...and lick my ass with it!" (Redman)

Page 11 of 18
Page 11 of 18
Odin Sphere

Odin Sphere

"I will scrape out your bowels until you beg me for mercy." (Odette)

Page 12 of 18
Page 12 of 18
Splinter Cell: Conviction

Splinter Cell: Conviction

"You'll die on your knees, like a scientist!" (Enemy guards)

Page 13 of 18
Page 13 of 18
Splinter Cell: Conviction

Splinter Cell: Conviction

"Watch your back, guys. It looks like we might have a hostile. His name might be... fu**ing Fisher!" (Enemy guards)

Page 14 of 18
Page 14 of 18
Splinter Cell: Conviction

Splinter Cell: Conviction

"Fisher's on the loose! F***, you guys, we're ready for war, and he's gonna make fools of us again!" (Enemy guards)

Page 15 of 18
Page 15 of 18
Splinter Cell: Conviction

Splinter Cell: Conviction

"Hey, Fisher, come here! Meet my baby!" (Enemy guards)

Page 16 of 18
Page 16 of 18
Splinter Cell: Conviction

Splinter Cell: Conviction

"Looking for a plane, Fisher? Come here! I'll make ya fly." (Enemy guards)

Page 17 of 18
Page 17 of 18
Verbal warfare

Verbal warfare

What are some of your favorite combat taunts in games? Are there any super obvious ones missing from our list? Let us know in the comments below--we're always happy to add more!

And if you're looking for more, check out video games with the worst health and safety standards and 10 great books that will teach you about gaming's history.

Page 18 of 18
Page 18 of 18
CATEGORIES
Android iPad iPhone PC Gaming Wii-u Nintendo PlayStation PS4 Xbox Xbox One Platforms Mobile Gaming
PRODUCTS
X-Men Arcade Team Fortress 2 Odin Sphere Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2 Xenoblade Chronicles Mortal Kombat (2011) Saints Row: The Third Borderlands 2 Crysis 3 Final Fantasy 1 & 2
Ryan Taljonick
Ryan Taljonick
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Ryan was once the Executive Editor of GamesRadar, before moving into the world of games development. He worked as a Brand Manager at EA, and then at Bethesda Softworks, before moving to 2K. He briefly went back to EA and is now the Director of Global Marketing Strategy at 2K. 

See more PC Gaming Features
Read more
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"That was me at three in the morning trying to come up with something": Clair Obscur: Expedition 33's silliest moment came to its writer when she was very, very tired
Count Louis in Metaphor: ReFantazio in an anime cutscene. With his cloak on, he's looking to the side somewhat annoyed
Metaphor: ReFantazio combat lead has crushing news for JRPG theorycrafters: lots of people think "I found a way to win that even the developers didn't anticipate!"' but "most of those methods are actually ones that we knew about"
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