• BladedFalcon - January 18, 2014 7:38 a.m.

    Also... Geez, this podcast reminded once again why I no longer care about the Kingdom hearts Franchise. The story is completely senseless and convoluted in all the wrong ways. Those few minutes of even attempting to make sense of just a part of it's lore made my eyes roll so damn hard they ended up hurting >_>
  • shawksta - January 18, 2014 9:48 a.m.

    You think thats bad, it was cringeworthy hearing them pronounce Xion's name wrong. The thing about Kingdom Hearts is it gets complicated more or less, but your able to simplify it on the long run, the issue is that some games exist that have no impact on the story except making it more annoying. Re:Coded for example did absolutely nothing because your told the same exact thing in DDD anyway.
  • BladedFalcon - January 18, 2014 11:26 a.m.

    ...Who gives a fuck if they pronounced a name wrong? everyone making a fuss abut it is an idiot. Unless a name is pronounced incorrectly on purpose with the express intention to insult or annoy, making a big deal of that is petty. As a Mexican, if I cringed everytime you English speaking people pronounced even common names in spanish wrong, I'd have gotten insane by now, but again, it's not a big deal. That's not my issue with Kingdom Hearts, stories are allowed to get super complicated and complex IF there's a good reason for it. KH does this wrong by making a mess of things for the sake of making it complicated. introducing a shitload of characters and term that ultimately have no real consequence whatsoever and make it appear more deep than it is. Furthermore, i guess it just annoys me more that the more and more the series progresses, the less and less it is about this supposed "crossover" and "celebration" of Square and Disney, and it's more about their own original characters and crawling into their own ass. Even the first KH, while good, never treated Disney or square characters more than cameos or incidental companions. Yes Goofy and Donald are always with Sora, but their role in their story could be easily replaced with anyone else. They just put Disney characters and Square characters for the sake of fanservice but without really staying true with the characters. Hell, fucking Mario RPG for the SNES is closer to the kind of tone that Kingdom Hearts should have had since the beginning. A whimsy, overall adventurous and cheerful story that makes justice to the characters that are crossing over in it. Mickey Mouse has no fucking Business acting like a "Baddass" in the KH series, that has NEVER been his character at all. So aside from the fact that it physically resembles Mickey, that entire character could be replaced with an angsty anime character stereotype, and it would be far more accurate. ...Holy shit did that rant just exploded. Guess I've had more pent up resentment with this franchise than i had realized. Feels kinda good to let it out though.
  • shawksta - January 18, 2014 12:23 p.m.

    Its okay, let it all out, Kingdom Hearts is convoluted as hell and the unnessesary spin offs are making it worse. Your description of not giving the Disney Characters justification is also good, i havent heard that argument before. Also to be fair, people are pointing out the pronounciation only because Greg and the others are giving us the power to correct them. Though i feel for you on pronounciations of names, as nobody can ever get my name right till i tell them its pronounced with an O despite having an A.
  • BladedFalcon - January 18, 2014 1:56 p.m.

    I just- I think KH is one of those things that in hindsight, the more you think about it, the more stupid you realize it was, and as I was writing, my brain recalled all that I've seen in the first two games and went "wait... all of that was fucking retarded, why did I ever think this was any good?" I then I got mad XD Honestly, I feel like KH is comparable to one of those super long, convoluted anime series like say, bleach, or Dragon ball Z, that when you watch then as a teenager, you go "oh hey, that's super cool" but when you look back at it... You realize how senseless and silly it all was. Lastly... Compare it to another Square property: The World Ends With You. Which initially seems to have a similar tone, and also has a very complex, at times potentially confusing plot, and CAN get very dramatic and angsty at times... Difference is, TWEWY's story obviously was thought out with an end and a PURPOSE in mind, and when it's all say at done, you get an awesome feeling when you figure it all out because it makes sense AND it had a point to make. Whereas with KH it seriously feels that with every game they are just making shit up as they go, to the point that they no longer remember if their story had any fucking point to begin with.
  • shawksta - January 18, 2014 10:15 p.m.

    Dragon Ball Z and Bleach is pretty much a good comparisons. and yeah, TWEWY went with it knowing you'll understand by the end of the game, Kingdom Hearts did it in a way where they want to follow it up but it ended up getting more stuck and ridiculous. If i may bring up another series, The Final Fantasy 7 games, they were really, really, REALLY unnessesary. Only because 7 was popular, they made an entirely separate side series for that era and characters and its just ridiculous.
  • BladedFalcon - January 18, 2014 11:05 p.m.

    Oh agreed, I mean, all those FFVII spinoffs are what have soured me towards FFVII overal so much. The game itself is fine, (Still overrated, but fine.) but all the amount of bullshit that they added with the other games and movies just made it insufferable. Fuck, while we're at it, let's also throw in the entire series and universe of FFXIII >_> The main reason I'm worried about FFXV is that Nomura is in charge... And looking at his track record as a game director, that's a very fucking bad sign. He works better when he's just the producer or designer, because like Vonter pointed out, his philosophy behind storytelling is utterly despicable.
  • shawksta - January 19, 2014 1:05 a.m.

    Well with KH3 finally fucking happening so the series can end (PFFFT) and FFXV showing up , we can only hope they'll go well. Hopefully Nomura learns from his horrible storytelling, reception helps, but with Japan loving the living crap out of it, i hardly doubt it. But there's still room for doubt, we just havent seen anything for it.
  • TheGooseinator - January 18, 2014 1:40 p.m.

    Yeah, it is kind of ridiculous at times. Have to say though, once I understood it, I enjoyed the ark it had taken, and it really became enjoyable. After ten hours of Wiki searching, that is. XD
  • SpadesSlick - January 18, 2014 10:23 p.m.

    You can have gripes but that part of the top 7 was hardly indicative of Kingdom Hearts being convoluted. I always take umbrage (not saying you are this btw just me venting) at people that just dismiss something because they feel it is convoluted for actually expecting them to learn a couple pieces of terminology. Gamesradar ran a piece calling remember me convoluted not long back, and I honestly don't know why after completing the game. Things like Xehanort traveling through time to arrange events is convoluted; not something like a nobody which is incredibly easy to explain (the shell left after a person loses their heart). I never had a problem following the plot of KH, and while it's kind of up all over the place, as long as you play the important games it's not terribly difficult to follow. If you want convoluted, try being a dc comic fan <.<.
  • BladedFalcon - January 18, 2014 11:01 p.m.

    While the GR crew might have gotten a headache over the terminology, that's not at all my problem with the series or the reason I call it convoluted in a bad way. The reason is because the mere concept of this game theory is so fucking stupid and pointless even if it winds up being true. I mean... so fucking what if Xion is the reason Roxas and Sora can Dual wield? how exactly adds or enriches the experience? Does this have a point? does it make Sora's Dual wielding more meaningful? NO IT DOES NOT. And that's why KH bothers me so much, it might not be the most convoluted story or series ever, but it certainly over complicate things where there's really no goo reason whatsoever. GR's crew views do not reflect mine (Even more obvious seeing how they think the ME3 ending at face value has no problems... even though it clearly does.), so I have no clue why they'd call Remember Me convoluted either. And yeeeeah... See, there's a reason why I don't care about DC altogether with the sole exception of SOME of Batman's movies and games.
  • Cyberninja - January 19, 2014 2:31 p.m.

    The story is straightforward enough that everything is able to be explained in this google doc: . The only reason people can't understand the story is if they skip games, which makes no sense(since you wouldn't skip books in a story) but I digress its not for everyone.
  • BladedFalcon - January 19, 2014 10:10 p.m.

    Um... that document only serves to highlight how fucking stupid, and needlessly convoluted the story is. And more importantly, reinforces my point that even if you bother to make sense out of all that... What's the fucking point? What's the message? what's so important about this story that needs to be told that hasn't been told before and better?
  • rcarrasco121 - January 18, 2014 6:29 a.m.

    My theory is that the entire movie of Inception is not a dream, but half of the movie is. The dream starts in the scene where Cobb is the basement with his team and they're about to test out the sleeping drug. After Cobb wakes up he is never again able to spin his top and test whether or not he is in reality. I know Inception is a movie and not a game. #dealwithit
  • Errrrbo - January 18, 2014 6:19 a.m.

    I was listening to this podcast in a quiet restaurant while studying, and when Tom whispered "The terrorists are here" when they were talking about the bomb threat at the school, it actually caused me physical pain to stifle laughing. Great show, guys.
  • wadesmit - January 18, 2014 8:53 a.m.

    Holy fuck, I have to agree. Tom's whisper and Ryan's story about the special needs kid sliding under the stall, smiling at him, "not understanding what he was doing as well as I did", made for a fucking great laugh. And I'm not even through with the whole episode yet. This one is hilarious, RR team. Thank you.
  • Shigeruken - January 18, 2014 3:14 a.m.

    Exposition, conflict, resolution. This is the dramatic structure I was taught, any story can be broken down into these stages (often referred to as acts) at its base level, regardless of how many individual parts (also called acts) it's separated into. Blame your argument on whoever decided the word 'act' should be used to describe dozens of completely different facets of theatre.
  • BladedFalcon - January 18, 2014 12:21 a.m.

    Ever wondered why in Pokemon, all the healing in the pokemon centers is free and seemingly infinite, and why all the government associate figures always look the same? (Nurses, guards, police officers, etc.) Simple answer: The government in the pokemon world has perfected and has total control of cloning technology, (Possibly based off on Ditto's ability to clone and reproduce with anything) and uses this to have complete control of their personnel, and also to keep pokemon economy booming by keeping pokemon healthcare completely free. And what happens in pokemon centers? they don't really heal your pokemon, they simply clone a new copy of the existing pokemon, replace it into the same pokeball, and then trash or eutanize the old one. This would also explain how using trades, some people may posses more than one seemingly one of a kind, "legendary" pokemon. It's just a clone someone else happened to find.
  • GOD - January 17, 2014 10:05 p.m.

    My video game theory is that Pikmin is actually a gamification of Miyamoto's traumatic time attempting to maintain a garden. The small captains like Olimar represent his helplessness against the many insects from destroying his beloved plants. The pain you feel as your Pikmin are murdered by a bulborb is meant to make you feel the sadness Miyamoto did when his flower patch was dessecated by a pack of ladybugs. The reason the levels always end at night time is because he always refused to garden at night, because shit, it's really dark out. The rock Pikmin were inspired by that time when Miyamoto was throwing rocks out of his garden and shattered his neighbors window. Also, loves ordering around what are basically colorful and mindless lemmings.
  • rainn'sgaydar - January 17, 2014 9:59 p.m.

    ME3 spoilers! (Are we far enough away that I don't have to give this warning?) My theory is that the Star Child at the end of ME3 is actually a rogue AI from millennia before Shepard's saga. There are a couple of small hints at this in that last, overly long conversation you have with him at the end. Basically, my theory states that Star Child is the holographic representation of an AI that was created to sustain organic life. However, the AI's logic determined that the only way to preserve organic life would be to periodically wipe it out and allow younger organic races to evolve. This is evidenced by Star Child's line about the reapers being its "solution," and then saying that another solution was required since the reapers would clearly no longer work. I'm sure that theory has its holes, but there are enough nuggets of information in that last conversation of the game that it seems plausible.
  • rainn'sgaydar - January 18, 2014 9:24 a.m.

    I'm gonna have to stand with Greg on the whole two act, three act debate. What he said initially was correct, and the rest of the crew tried to bully him around after the fact. The whole situation was...unflattering though, guys.
  • Tren_Frost - January 18, 2014 9:29 p.m.

    Actually...that's not a theory. That's fact. It was explained the Leviathon DLC and the Extended Ending. Both put together directly state that Star Child was an AI built by an ancient alien race to help protect them from inorganic threats. The AI determined that the only way to protect inorganic life from the inevitable destruction from inorganic beings was to prevent the wars from happening in the first place. The AI built the Reapers according to the design of the ancient race, using their organic DNA with inorganic machinery. The AI defeated the threatening inorganic race, and then turned on the organics after the war was over. Once completed, the AI sent the Reapers to the edge of the galaxy to wait on the next cycle. The 30,000 year cycle is how long the AI determined it takes organic life to create an inorganic race capable of rising up and destroying all organic life. In Shepard's cycle, that threat would have arisen from the Geth. However, the Geth inexplicably decided instead to remove themselves from organic contact. However, the fact that the Geth were not a threat to organic life did not prevent the cycle from occurring again; they or another race might still rise up and start a war. So the cycle continued. The AI eventually determines that the solution it had created to prevent the annihilation of organic life was no longer working: information on the Reapers were passing through to each cycle and eventually organics were able to ably fight against Reapers. The AI admits that it has insufficient data to properly determine a new solution, so it offers Shepard the option to aid his decision. Control (BLUE): Shepard will infuse himself directly with the AI. Imbued with the knowledge of Shepard's memories and emotional capacity, the AI will no longer be run by computation only and instead will carry on managing the Reapers as a tool of defense for organics AND inorganics and not to "preserve through destruction." After the Mass Relays' destruction, they are rebuilt by Shepard-controlled Reapers. Synthesis (GREEN): This was ultimately the AI's goal, to fuse inorganic life with organic life to promote peace. Sure, wars and violence may occur, but a war on the scale caused only by the fight between organics and inorganics can never exist. There is no separation or distinction, so there can be no elimination. After the Mass Relays' destruction, they are rebuilt by a combined force of life forms imbued with the immense knowledge of the Reapers. Destroy (RED): Both Control and Synthesis gave organics a way of surviving or avoiding potential genocide via inorganic beings (something the AI and multiple cycles' history determined to be inevitable). The Control option takes away those defenses. Not only will the Catalyst destroy all the Reapers, it is a weapon incapable of determining what it inorganic life it destroys, meaning that ALL inorganic life is destroyed. The Geth who sided against the Reapers (and possibly helped the Quarians), EDI, and other inorganic life are indiscriminately destroyed. In the ultimate act of selfishness, Shepard chooses to destroy the Reapers at any cost. Innocent inorganic lives are wiped out, and the only sure defense against a future organic/inorganic war is lost. That is why it's the Renegade option. After the Mass Relays' destruction, the combined efforts of the newly united galaxy rebuild them. So not sure if you're just incredibly good at guessing, or simply a troll, but this isn't a theory.
  • rainn'sgaydar - January 18, 2014 9:53 p.m.

    I suppose I guessed well then. I played Leviathan once, but I figured that much out prior to playing it. I try to pay extreme attention to every word when I'm in dramatic points of games whose story I'm invested in. And I guess I forgot that Leviathan confirmed all of that because I didn't recall that being told (though I'm not doubting that it was). I probably just didn't accept Leviathan's story as important enough to pay close attention, even though it sounds like I probably should have.
  • Tren_Frost - January 18, 2014 10:06 p.m.

    It's alright man. LOTS of people didn't pay attention to hardly anything in regards to the ending, which explains much of the unhappiness about it.
  • rainn'sgaydar - January 18, 2014 10:13 p.m.

    I can certainly agree with that. The only legitimate complaint I've seen is how similar the three choices' cut scenes are for the end game, but as you've described, the endings are still quite different. Count me among those satisfied with ME3.

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