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  • Elgyem - February 2, 2013 9:46 a.m.

    If you're going up against a colossal lizard or dragon or rhinocerous or sorcerer, IS A WOODEN SHEILD REALLY GONNA PROTECT YOU?
  • ahmet-ozturk - February 26, 2013 7:30 p.m.

    You can hide under it and if lucky, the dragon wont see you.
  • C.King - February 2, 2013 9:04 a.m.

    i been thinking about the buster sword and i can see 2 things it could be useful for, cutting something that regenerates super fast or bloby and doubling as a shield since it seems like i big enough to completely cover the user
  • BaraChat - February 1, 2013 10:54 p.m.

    Fun read, that's the kind of article I like to get from GR.
  • SpinalGalloway - February 1, 2013 2:03 p.m.

    I have to call foul on the M-490 being a "broken" idea in the way you claim. The total gravity of a black hole is entirely dependent on its total mass. It's only the gravity at the "surface" (or Schwarzschild radius) that is extreme. If you fire a black hole with the mass of a baseball at something, the room is not going to get pulled into it any more than it would if a normal baseball was sitting there in the room. Whatever CONTACTED the black hole in question might be in trouble, though. Also, it would be easy to "fire" a small-mass black hole from a "gun" because a black hole can have a charge at the surface. So your gun would just have to be a railgun type weapon. None of this is to say that the M-490 would work the way it is shown in the game. The black hole would not shoot out and then hover and suck stuff in. It would shoot out, wreak havoc with what it touched, then keep going right through the wall of your spacecraft and let all the air out into space. Also, your gun would have at least the mass of the black hole you are firing. A "bullet-sized" black hole has a mass of about 2 billion tons, so that's a heavy-assed rifle to carry around. And that would make a hole the diameter of a bullet in whatever it hits as it shoots off. (2 billion tons is a lot of mass, but doesn't have a lot of gravity.) If you have a black hole the MASS of a bullet, then it makes a hole the size of, oh, an atom across, say, in whatever it hits. You have to have really good aim for that to hit something vital.
  • kyle94 - February 3, 2013 5:48 a.m.

    Except that micro black holes are believed to be created all the time by cosmic rays. They're either completely harmless, as they disappear instantly. If you want to create a stable black hole, you'd need to create a typical stellar black hole.
  • Pruman - February 1, 2013 9:05 a.m.

    How about Safer-Sephiroth's Supernova summon? A comet destroys every other planet in the solar system, then causes the sun to explode, yet somehow leaves Gaia unscathed and doesn't instantly kill the heroes. Also, it totally defeats the villain's purpose by destroying the planet he's trying to harvest all of the energy out of.
  • cricket0 - February 1, 2013 7:21 a.m.

    The most absurd weapon I have seen in a game is the Blitzball from Final Fantasy X. Its a volleyball. That's all i should need to say, if your in a fight against most anyone or thing, it will do very little to no damage, not to mention that any ball thrown at someone has 1% chance of actually coming right back, and that's if it hits the person perfectly and still has enough velocity to get back to the thrower. Lets even assume that its the consistency of a bowling ball, even then it would be strenuous to throw, and you wouldn't get it back. Yet in the game it always bounces back, even when throw against a monster flying to the side of the air ship you are on. And its also more powerful than most ranged weapons in the game. So to sum it up, the thing that either does no damage and probably wont come back, or does a little damage ONCE and WONT come back is one of the better weapons in the game.
  • knightnettie - February 1, 2013 6:25 a.m.

    +1 for the Skies of Arcadia reference. =D
  • bamit11 - February 1, 2013 8:05 a.m.

    17,000 points for Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel, not because it's an amazing game (cause it's the only Fallout I haven't played), but because they acknowledges it existes XD.
  • GarcianSmith - February 1, 2013 4:29 a.m.

    "Come back and tell us all about how it went. Oh wait, you won’t be able to, because bear poo can’t talk." I laughed waaay more than I should've done at that. Great article! MORE PLEASE.
  • slimjim441 - February 1, 2013 1:09 a.m.

    The Buster Sword's impracticality is exactly why I love getting the Great Knife in Silent Hill 2. You wield it exactly how you'd expect to. Even Pyramid Head swings his massive 2m-long knife like it is, in fact, a 2m-long knife.
  • C.King - January 31, 2013 4:38 p.m.

    it's not a weapon but in unchained blades one of the first armors you can get for magic users are bondage suits
  • taokaka - January 31, 2013 4:32 p.m.

    In tales of Graces f you can unlock some pretty unique weapons with the right crafting materials although I only found one, I made the normally sword wielding Asbel take a toy giraffe into battle instead.
  • The_Ouroboros - February 1, 2013 6 a.m.

    I'm happy you've given up speaking like a cat, that shtick was old on day one. Speaking of cats, Cait Sith's Megaphone was always ridiculous. Shit talk doesn't hurt.
  • taokaka - February 1, 2013 7:12 a.m.

    What's wrong with meow speaking like a cat? I think you have some catitude because my speech is pawsitively purrfect although I'd be lion if I didn't think you're kitten about not liking me talk. I hope my comment at least left you feline good and not like a total catastrophe, only time will tail.
  • The_Ouroboros - February 3, 2013 1:56 p.m.

    That was classic. Nope, I'm not new by a long shot, but I must be trippin'. I apologize.
  • Hobogonigal - February 1, 2013 10:47 p.m.

    Ha, you must be new. It's not what he does at all. And Taokaka, that was a friggin hilarious response!
  • obviouslyadouche - January 31, 2013 3:29 p.m.

    Most of these weapons due to being in fantasy games need one word to make them practical, magic. Still a great article though.
  • zorick1 - January 31, 2013 1:14 p.m.

    Genis's kendama
  • JarkayColt - January 31, 2013 12:29 p.m.

    Nice list, didn't know about too many of these, so reading about their impracticalities was even more funny out of context. Why the Zelda image for fire-swords though? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Link has never used any fully - or even partially - engulfed swords. Lots of beam-firing-swords, though. Although I think a few enemies have them. But still. This list also needs more EarthBound; frying pans and yo-yos aren't exactly all that practical. Also, in Mother 3, Kumatora's weapon(s) of choice are a pair of gloves, which aren't really going to achieve much unless you augment their force with a disguised brick. Oh yeah, and not an RPG, but most of the weapons in Kid Icarus Uprising scream 'ludicrous' (I mean a skyscraper...really!?)

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