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How classic old games would be marketed today

Games from a gentler age given the sexy, cynical and psychotic modern day treatment

Words: on August 27, 2009
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46 comments

  • whatsherface - August 30, 2009 7:13 p.m.

    hahaha love this article

  • magicwalnuts0 - August 30, 2009 2:15 a.m.

    The fact that everyone's saying they'd play a Samus in a bikini game makes this at first funny parody very, very sad in reality.

  • gulfcoastfella - August 28, 2009 4:19 p.m.

    I came here to floss teeth and kick ass... and I'm all out of floss!!!

  • Xplosive59 - August 28, 2009 3:14 p.m.

    @reyalejandro13 no for kingdom hearts they would add the jonas brothers and hannah montana to the cast that would be a sad day for gaming everywhere

  • Xobi - August 28, 2009 7:01 a.m.

    Amazing Article as always

  • YuGiOhisbetterthanMagic - August 28, 2009 5:44 a.m.

    samus in a bikni? id hit that.

  • cheezyphil - August 28, 2009 4:07 a.m.

    That comment on the Tetris thing was funny as shit. 1.50 per block lol

  • reyalejandro13 - August 28, 2009 4 a.m.

    This actually got me thinking about what games will be like in another 10-15 Years. And, more importantly, what this article would be like in 10-15 years. Like, will games get to the point where Pokemon actually shows blood and burnt flesh? (Charizard used Flamethrower! It Caused 3rd degree Burns!! Super Effective!.) Will Kirby Legitimately eat people? (Copy Ability: Digestion.) Will Games like Kingdom Hearts have Disney characters foregoing their Blunt weaponry for actual swords and dismemberment? (Literally Heartless) WHAT WILL HAPPEN!

  • LizarDAZZLE - August 28, 2009 2:08 a.m.

    Poor duke... poor, poor duke...

  • PrivateYmo7 - August 28, 2009 1:57 a.m.

    Seriously. adadadad have a serious problem. I always knew Duke will turn emo... Haw Haw!

  • Nodoudt - August 28, 2009 1:16 a.m.

    Rest in peace Metroid, I knew thee well... :(

  • adadadad - August 28, 2009 12:09 a.m.

    ohhh shutty the moth, freesestarman

  • freezestar - August 28, 2009 12:08 a.m.

    that team ninja will make

  • freezestar - August 28, 2009 12:06 a.m.

    anybody who wishes that the joke they made for metroid really happend for metroid or that team ninja made samus look she was from doa is not a metroid fan. metroid is about exploring many diffrent lands (and backtracking.) plus the second thing I said about team ninja is would probobly not happen because a) the metroid series has been on the low side of t for teen. and b)Tomonobu Itagaki is not part of team ninja and I think he is the reason doa beach vollyball exists. and yes i am a guy.

  • uz_mike222 - August 27, 2009 11:40 p.m.

    @DrDack: i totally agree with you, it should be more like $3.00 per block at the way our gas prices are at! great article like always David! I wouldn't mind to play the New Super Mario series if he was as bad ass as a Marine. and i'd love me some of that Metroid if you know what mean. reCAPTCHA: stop spam. read books.

  • DrDack - August 27, 2009 11:28 p.m.

    Love the article, but I think the portrayal of Tetris was a little unrealistic. $1.50 is way too cheap for today's capitalist internets!

  • michaelmcc827 - August 27, 2009 11:01 p.m.

    wow I lol'd hard, so many punches at the problems we have today. Nice job.

  • number1hitjam - August 27, 2009 8:25 p.m.

    I'm pretty sure you're the first gaming website to review crack

  • Tomsta666 - August 27, 2009 7:57 p.m.

    Wouldn't surprise me if Metroid Other M turns out like what you done here, considering Team Ninja are at the helm :P reCAPTCHA - fail ous (lol)

  • 2muchGuitarHero - August 27, 2009 6:50 p.m.

    lol '876 ways to waggle' another great article

Showing 21-40 of 46 comments

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