Candy is Dandy
Halloween. That time of the year when we celebrate the Gaelic Samhain holiday of a successful feast while remembering the gods of old. Just kidding, who actually cares about what a holiday stands for? All that matters is candy and costumes--and the fact that its finally culturally acceptable to make children cry!
Yet, while the rest of the world reserves vast quantities of candy for the holidays, video games revel in sugary goodness all year round. Here is a tribute to some of the best candy in gaming, and what we would think it tastes like in the real world.
Invincibility Lollipop (Kirby's Dream Land)
What it does in game: Renders Kirby immune to all damage for a short duration.
What it would taste like in real life: That perfect moment when your Tootsie Pop is almost to the Tootsie Roll center yet still has the tangy sugar clinging to it, so that every lick is an orgasmic flavor adventure in your mouth. Mmmmmmm.
Candy Chteau (Rayman)
What it does in game: It's the final level in the original Rayman.
What it would taste like in real life: Candy Mountain.
Soothing Spearmint Candy (World of Warcraft)
What it does in game: Makes you look cool.
What it would taste like in real life:Laying in a pool of pulsating beads, Like this, kind of.
Candy Bars (The Walking Dead)
What it does in game: makes you preemptively upset because you know Clementine being happy just means the game is setting up to crush her later on in the scene.
What it would taste like in real life: Probably Almost Joys, because no matter how happy you are with that first bite, theres always that damn almond in the center to ruin the entire candy forever.
Lollipop Candy (Disgaea 3)
What it does in game: Recovers 50 percent of your character's HP at end of each turn.
What it would taste like in real life: Like hellflame, so basically Big Red gum (by the way if you lick a Big Red gum wrapper and stick it on your forehead for an extended period of time you can get light chemical burns. True fact because I did it once).
Sweets are neat...s
Of course the easy answer here is Candy Crush. But since thats basically an avalanche of Skittles, hard fruit candy, and Lifesavers raining upon your open mouth anyway, it doesnt take too much effort to think about how that would taste anyway.
Did we entice you with thoughts of candy? If you remember candy from any games that weve missed on here let us know in the comments below!
