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Fish 'em All! review

Terrible
AT A GLANCE
  • Lovely Cajun music
  • Three game modes!
  • Literally seconds of fun
  • Every mode is the same
  • Fishtris is nothing like Tetris
  • Utterly, woefully, mindless

Time constraints meant that it was a toss-up between reviewing either this or Cocoto Platform Jumper, and it’s a damning indictment on Cocoto that Fish ’Em All! won out. Whereas Icarian (NyxQuest) and Let’s Catch are shining examples of what we love about WiiWare, this insipid, joyless, pointless nonsense makes us want to weep.

Despite the game’s very title setting our crap-o-scope sensors tingling, we actually thought we’d misjudged it when the title screen booted up. Why? Well, you’re greeted with a pair of good ol’ Southern boys plucking out a lovely Cajun tune on their banjos. There are three game modes to choose from, too! Fun to be had! Yes indeed, literally seconds of fun.

Regardless of the game mode, all you do is steer your fisherman left and right with the Nunchuk and swish the remote left or right to catch the fish that leap from the water in your net. You can jump and swish too, and sometimes you’re bothered by little animals on the shore, which you jump on to kill. Gloom.

Arcade mode sees you capturing enough fish to fill a meter before the time runs out, Challenge mode has you catching a set number of fish before the time runs out, and Fishtris is nothing like Tetris but does involve catching a set number of fish before the time runs out. We defy anyone to play this for longer than five minutes. Still, at least the title music’s catchy.

Jul 9, 2009

More Info

Release date: Jun 08 2009 - Wii (US)
May 29 2009 - Wii (UK)
Available Platforms: Wii
Genre: Simulation
Published by: Abylight
Developed by: Abylight
ESRB Rating:
Everyone: Mild Cartoon Violence
PEGI Rating:
7+: Violence, Fear

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3 comments

  • JohnnyMaverik - July 12, 2009 12:09 a.m.

    "god its 11:33 here and all i'm doing is lying down on gamesradar looking for unread articles in which to get 1st in becuase i am too much of a failiure to do anything else..." Awwww... dnt worry, I fail at life too :'( Sounds like a terrible game and sadly I suspect thousands of uniformed wii owners will probably be ripped off when they pick this up... there again they're probably so uninformed about games, the gaming world and the potential games have that they won't even know it's a bad game... so fuck them and serve them right.
  • petaboil - July 9, 2009 10:34 p.m.

    1st on an article that nobody will ever care about let alone read... god its 11:33 here and all i'm doing is lying down on gamesradar looking for unread articles in which to get 1st in becuase i am too much of a failiure to do anything else...
  • LokiRising - July 9, 2009 11:40 p.m.

    Well, petaboil, maybe you should get a job. And Nintendo gives this shit an approval? Really? Those greedy bastards!! When does the 360 port come out so I can preorder it?

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