Some rumours are a bit run-of-the-mill, but thoroughly believable for it. Some rumours are outlandish, and a bit dubious as a result. But some rumours - the best rumours in fact - are so flat-out guano crazy as to punch right through the very walls of plausibility and launch themselves into hitherto unexplored realms of probability so unstructured and unfathomable that anything and everything suddenly becomes possible. A bit like Inception's Limbo, only using varying levels of feasibility instead of dream bits.
And that friends, is where we are today. The particular Schroedinger's E3 Event in question? An appearance by Eminem (in video form at least) at Nintendo's E3 2012 press conference, to promote a new game called Acid Ghost, which is aimed at a more mature audience. Originating with a anonymous-source-fuelled story at GoNintendo, the tale professes that the video is currently being made by a Sacramento marketing agency, and is due to go into post-production next week.
Above: How the hell am I the first person reporting this story today to use this Photoshop gag? You're letting me down, internet
Mad as it sounds, this one does fit in with Nintendo's recent, frequent courting of celebrity endorsements, as well as the increasing frequency of Satoru Iwata's claims that the Wii U is very much going to be aimed at the core gamer market.
But if all of this is true, what manner of game will Acid Ghost be? off the top of my head, I can think of several options:
- You will either control or fight a ghost who spews acid, a bit like Slimer in Ghostbusters, but far more dangerous. That scene where Peter lies on the floor and laments "He slimed me" would not happen because Peter would not have a head to lament anything with.
- It's a game in which you play either a cool hacker or a cool rapper with the kind of name that 'cool' rappers and 'cool' hackers got in 'cool' '90s films.
- It's a dark, gritty, hallucinogenic reboot of Pac-Man, based on this image.
- The rumour's mention of the game being for an 'older audience' actually refers to a much older audience than you might think. The Acid Ghost of the title is the metaphysical spirit of the '60s and '70s, and personifies the lost ideals of that period. The game is an existential musing on counter-culture, youth and maintaining the vitality of the soul despite physical age, aimed at 60+ year-old former hippies and beatniks. Eminem is totally down with that shit.
Above: I like to think that this is what Acid Ghost looks like
Want to stay on top of this and all the other stories that might shape the show this year? Just click over to our constantly updating E3 2012 rumours compendium page.