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                           L I V E  &  R E L O A D E D

                                   "I'm back"


                           FAQ/Walkthrough Version 1.00

                         By David "Ryan_Dunn" Donaldson

                             Started on July 1st 2005


             ______      _                __                           

               /     /  //         /)    /  )        _/_         _/_   

            --/__.  /__// _    __ //    /   __ ____  /  _  ____  /  _  

           (_/(_/|_/_) Version .55 <->

Hopefully this guide has been accepted, and if thats the case, this is version 

.55. All of the subsections are done, excludin the soon to come cash locations

section. The walkthrough is finished up to the chapter "Windy 3". This is in

a three day backlog by the way.

<-> Version 1.00 <->

The walkthrough is completed all the way up to the twelfth chapter. I hope this

guide helps you!



|2. walkthrough | [2WALK]                                                     |



This is the main purpose of the guide. The walkthrough will provide detailed

information on how to get through the game. As of the first update it is only

completed up to the chapter "Windy 2". This include the poop ball area. 



|2.1- Hungover | [21HUN]                                                      |




Scaredy Birdy


After that rather hilarious cutscene, Conker will wake up in the area in which

he conked out the previous night. He has a bit of a hangover, and like me, is

in rather pissy mood. Once the cutscene is over you will gain control of

Conker. Walk this stumbling idiot over to the scarecrow next to the fence.

The scarecrow will flop up into a bent over position and start a conversation

with you. Obviously, Conker wasn't the only one drinking last night. Once the

little chat has finished walk behind the scarecrow and onto the pad with the

letter "B" on it. 

Another small conversation will start with the scarecrow, who explains exactly

what "consext sensetive" is. By his instructions, press B while standing on 

the pad. Conker will pull out a beer and Birdy will scoop it up. Once the scene

is over walk over to the other B pad (near where you started the level). Press

B here to make Conker pull out a plastic cup and make a hangover cure. He drinks

it up and is back to his normal self. You can now walk normal, though you can't

perform many actions.

Jump into the water to the right and swim over to the small island in the middle

of the area.

Hop up onto the rock then you will see a small cutscene in which Conker explains

how to jump and do his "tailspin". Tailspin onto the log then up to the ledge.

Keep following the path until you reach a large door. Pass it up then go over 

the small bridge. Hop over the gap then pass over the next bridge. Hop over the

next gap as well then go over to the large switch. Jump up and Conker will pull

the switch down thus unlocking the door you previously had passed up. 


Pan Handler


Head back down the path and into the door. Inside this room is a small key. 

Chase it around for a few seconds and a cutscene will occur. Conker picks up 

a weapon from the rack on the far right wall. Three imps in wooden barrels

will appear. Take out your weapon with B then start wacking the imps around.

Once they are hit spikes will pop out from their torso region. Back up to avoid

these, though you don't have health so it doesn't really matter. Kill all three

of them then pick up the key. Use it on the door to unlock it.

Now head back outside and up the path. Go up to the gargoyle to initiate a 

cutscene. Now wack the gargoyle with your frying pan to start another rather

hilarious cutscene in which the game makes a few self references.




Once the entire thing is done head over to the rock and tailspin to the top. 

Jump over to the ledge to the right and press B. Conker will blow up the rock

with help from some dynamite. Jump down and go into the tunnel.



|2.2- Windy |                                                                 |




Mrs Bee


You probably watched the cutscene, assuming your on your first play through. If

that be the case, then you know about the anti-gravity chocolate. All over 

Conkers world you will find little pieces of floating chocalate. Each piece will

replenish one sixth of your life, which is measured in chocalte pieces. Just

thought I would clear that up now. 

Anyway, head down the zigzag path collecting chocalate if you need it (if you

don't then it will become invisible when you walk into it). Head to the right

and you will run into a large bee.

The large Bee has had her hive stolen by a band of wasps. She asks Conkert to 

get it back for her. Oddly enough, it appears Conker feels sorry for her and

will do it for free (or so he thinks). Anyway, head to the left of where you

started out and go up the hill. Kill the imp here (remember, hit then dodge)

and continue. Eventually you will reach the wasp hive where the bee hive as 

been stashed. 

Run up to the beehive and Conker will automatically grab it. A cutscene will

occur in which three wasps start chasing you.

Quickly run as fast as you can down the hill and back to where the large bee

was. Conker flops it down on the pedestal and guns pop out of the top. In 

Conkers words, "Eat led motherbuzzer". After the large bee is done pumping the

wasps full of lead, head up the hill in the middle of the area. Some dung 

beatles will "suprise" you if you get to close, so watch out. Anyway, head

over to the B-pad and press B.

It's Birdy! Pay him the $100 you got from the large bee and he will give you

the manual. The money will jump out of his pocket and come back to you, so that

doesn't matter. Now watch the cutscene which teaches you how to use the 

catupult. Press B on the b-pad to bring out your slingshot. In order to kill

the dung beatles shoot them each twice. Once all four are dead head up the

hill and go right. 



|2.3 Barn Boys | [22WI1]                                                      |






Welcome to this rather idiotic place. Run across the river and head up the small

hill to the right. To the left are two blocks. Go over and talk to Jack, the 

blue block. The mouse next you, Marvin, has scared the large pink block into

jumping on Jacks back. Obviously the large block is causing a strain on Jack,

who in exchange for killing the mouse, will give you a nice reward.

Go back down the hill and take the left path. To the left of you are two blocks

moving up and down the large hill. If you stick to the far left (Near the cheese

wall) then they can't crush you. Run up the hill sticking to the chees wall

and you will come upon a cheese farm (Gee thats suprising). Go over to Burt, the

other blue block, and start talking.

With the mention of Jacks name, Burt opens the gate to the farm. Go inside and

wack one of the many blocks of cheese with your bat. Unequip your weapon and

grab the piece of cheese. Now head back down the hill and over to your Mouse

friend, Marvin. He graciously accepts the cheese, but the greedy bastard asks

for more. Repeat the procedure two more times and Marvin will blow up.

The pink block jumps to the side of Jack. Jack tells you that there is 

something "neat" inside the barn. Spring jump (Right Trigger + A) onto the pink

block. Jump up onto the drain pipe then shimmy up to the barn roof. Head over 

to where the chocalate block is and step on the wooden switch. This will open 

the door to the barn. Grab the cash then jump down. Head left while avoiding 

the large crate and go inside the barn. 


Mad Pitchfork


When you walk inside a cutscene will ensue. There are eight pieces of hay lying

on the ground. After a comment by Conker, they get up and start jumping around.

In the far corner of the Barn is a pitchfork. On the shelf next to him is a 

paintcan and a paintbrush. They argue for a few seconds on which one will "kick

your ass". Run over to the pitchfork (Don't worry about the hay) to start an

incredably funny cutscene and trigger your first boss battle.

===========   ====================


===========   ====================

Franky is invincible so you can't hurt him. The object of this battle is to

get him to use his one attack, which is jab, on the eight haystacks. In order

to make him jab the haystacks stand in front of them and do a tailspin right

before he hits you. He will hit the haystack which will dissapear. Do this for

each of the eight hay stacks and Franky will quit because he is too tired. He

will then try to hang himself only to find out that he has no neck.

Once he is defeated head out the door.


Sunny Days


Once you exit the barn Conker will be flagged down by a large bee, a.k.a. King

Bee. He tells you of a "big breasted babe" that he wants to "pollinate". She

supposably has "stigmas like you wouldn't believe". Head down the small path

and over to the sunflower. A cutscene will occur in which the sunflower will 

tell you to go away due to your "long hairy tail". Okay fair enough. You now

need to find five sets of bees to tickle her.

1. Head back up the small path to where you met the King Bee to find the first


2. Go up the path and over to the cheese farm. Hop the fence and go over to the

second group. 

3. Jump down into the sewer area next to the jumping blocks. Kill the two imps

here then go to the very back where you will find the bees. 

4. Right next to where you started the level is a group (Don't get these until

you have the other ones on the sunflower. This group is located right next to

water, and the bees will fly away if you touch water). 

5. To get the last group head back to where you met Jack the blue brick. Hop

on top of the pink brick then make your way up to the Barn roof. The last group

is located next to the wooden switch.

Bring them all back to the sunflower to initiate a cutscene. Conker watchs is

awe, or possible in question, as the the Bee "pollinates" the sunflower. Once

he is done with her, she will ask if you want to take a "bounce". In Conkers 

words "Now this is what I call a platforming game". Anyway, spring jump onto

her boobs and then fly up to the cash on the ledge.


Barry and Co.


Head back to where you found the King Bee and you will find a large crate 

circling the area. Wait until he stops in front of the Barn window then spring

jump on top of him. Now tailspin up into the window and go inside the Barn.

You will see another cutscene here. Two bats will start to attack you. Ahead

of you are several pads with small cylinder boards connecting them. You could

balance on the boards or just tailsping over to the next pad. The latter is 

easier, because you will have to use the B pad on the boards to fry the bats.

Anyway, make your way to the last pad where you will find a B-pad. Press B to

bring up your slingshot. See Franky hanging on the support beam over there? 

Shoot the rope to bring him crashing down. Now jump down to start another

cutscene. Conker will befriend Franku, who promises to help him kill the Haybot

which is patrolling around the barn. 


Buff You


===========   ======


===========   ======

This portion of the fight is relatively easy. Hop onto Franky and start moving

towards the haybot. Franky has only one attack, which is Jab (B). Head over to

the Haybot and stick it in him (not like that). Anyway, he will start to catch

on fire (I wonder why?). Anyway, do this again and he will reveal the inner

terminator in him. Jab him once more to start the next cutscene. Wee!


Haybot Wars


You and Franky drop down beneath the barn floor. After that COMPLETLY ORIGINAL

cutscene you will be faced with the true form of the Haybot. Immediatly hop 

onto Franky and head for one of the three large pipes. Go behind it and wait

for Haybot to fire off a "Suzie 9MM". It will bust open the pipe and water 

will start to flow. This is key to defeating him.

Stay behind the pipe and Haybot will start to advance. Once he comes into 

contact with the water his electrical outputs start to overcharge and he is

temporarily knocked out. The top portion of his body will start to rotate 

revealing a large red button. Quickly run up and time your jump so that you

can press B when the button comes around.

Conker will punch the red button and it will take 1/3 of Haybots life. Now

do this twice more using the other two pipes to start a cutscene. Haybot goes

Bersek then blows up.


Frying Tonight


OK, time to leave this place. Examine the three pipes you and you will notice

that one of them has two large exit signs. Swim over to that pipe and climb up

the latter. Go around the pillar and over to the B-pad. Press B to pick up 

some throwing knives. Now look around, you should see three wild cables. Two

of them are above you and one of them is below you. Throw knives at the small

wires holding them up to make them fall into the water. 

Watch the ledge because falling in will result in Conker getting fried. Once

all three cables have been disposed of the water level will rise allowing you

to swim over to the next platform. Jump up to the B-pad and whip out the 

knives. Take out the cable on the other side of the area then cut off the two

right next to you. The water level will rise once abain. Jump in for a swim 

and start heading for the exit. 

Conker has now found himself back inside the barn. Jump on the turtles stone

and he will flip you up. Tailspin over to the ledge and crab the Cash. Now

exit the barn.


Slam Dunk


Hop on the ladder and start climbing up. If the patrolling wasp comes to close

speed up or go down a bit (They sometimes knock you down to the very bottom of 

the level and kill you).

Speaking of which, I might as well explain what happens when you die. Conker is

transported to hell (presumably) where he meets the Grim reaper, or Gregg. Like

in most adventure games, you have a certain amount of lives. You can increase

this amount by finding squirrel tails, which are scattered around the world. If

you die and have no squirrel tails then you can simply just continue and you

will be refilled. Kinda pointless, but the cutscene is damn funny!

Anyway, back to the game. Head up the ladder to the second platform. Here is an

Imp that you can kill. Repeat the normal stradegy (hit then dodge) then 

continue on to the next ladder. Go up while avoiding the wasps and you will 

reach the third platform. Nothing really interesting here so keep going up 

the ladder until your each the final platform. Tailspin over the ledge to get

the chocolate then press B. Conker will do an Anvil drop on the area below

and thus open the gate.

When the hole thing is over you will gain control of Conker again. Run over to

the ladder and climb up to the rim of the bucket. Now carefully make your way

over to the next ladder then climb down. You are now on top of the Barn roof.

Make your way over to where the wooden switch is then jump down. Now head over 

to where you found the third group of bees. The steel gate here is now unlocked

so head in and kill the ceramic dolls (same stradegy as with the imps). 

Collect your cash then head back to where you started this level. Exit here

to go back to Windy. 



|2.4 Windy 2 | [24WI2]                                                        |




Poo Cabin


Upon leaving that retarted place head right and go under the small arch. As

Conker said before, this area is a bit "pooey". With your oxygen mask on head

inside the small cabin where you will meet up with a Dung Beatle. If you get

his cows to crap he will give you a ball of poo (Gee what an awesome reward).

Head over to the B-pad and press b to open it up. You will fall into a large

river of, crap, where an Imp is eager to hurt you. Take him out then head down

the stream and go around the corner.

Kill the next Imp and you will come to a large room filled with Imps and poop. 

Tailspin over to the rope and start climbing up. 

When you reach the top of the rope tailspin on over to the next rope and start 

climbing up once again. When you reach the top jump over to the  platform. Now,

and Imp is patrolling the platform. Walk over to one of the boards next to the

plaform and wait for him to pass. Now jump on the next rope. Climb up just a 

little ways then tailspin over to the slope that crap is coming

from. Head own the stream and exit this area.




Just in case you lost any life on that delightful climb here, you can find 

chocalate scattered all over this area. Just what is this area? A bullpin. With

every bullpin there has to be bullshit, and this area doesn't dissapoint.

Anyway, you met a bull the first time you got here. If you get too close he 

will charge at you and knock some health off, so watch out.

Anyway, look around the area for a large building with balls of poop rolling 

down the roof. Near the building are two barrels. Spring jump onto the taller

one then tailspin over to the roof. The poop balls will come in pairs, so make

sure your timing is right. When a pair has passed quickly jump up and head over

to the other side of the roof. 

Here you will fin the source of the balls (the large hole). Anyway, wait until

the path is clear then jump up onto the ledge then run over to the roof. Run

over to the large tap sprouting from the building and start running counter

clockwise. After a few seconds a large amount of prune juice (You know, the

stuff that relives constupation) will fall into the feeding sink.




Make your way back down to the Bullpin. A blue target has now appeared on the

edge of the island, and you need to get the bull to hit it. Do this by standing

in front of the target and pre-loading your spring jump. Right before the Bull

hits the target jump up. By hitting this target the Bull has released a cow.

A wall will pop up with an additional target.

Repeat the same stradegy as before for the charging bull. This time the Bull 

will get it's horns stuck. Run around the wall and Conker will automatically 

climb onto the bull. Now you need to hit the cow in the ass so that it goes

and drinks the prune juice. Once it has finished taking a few gulps the 

diarhea will kick in. Ram the cow once more to make it explode. 

Repeat the proceess twice and you will be done with this area. Wasn't that

an awesome craptastical fun filled level? Well it's not over yet. If you 

watched the cutscene you will see that the drain in which the cows were 

crapping in was busted under the weight of the Bull. Now jump down into the 



Sewage Sucks


You are now back in the large room under the cabin. The big difference now

is that its flooded. Go through the tunnel and you will encounter a B-pad. 

Press B and Conker will get a big boost in confidence. Basically that means 

that you can now swim underwater. Now submerge into the water and start heading


Go through the small passage and into the huge room. Swim past the large but

still alive Bull and back over to the small hallway in which started out. Look

around this area at one of the pillars. You can now reach the wad of cash that

was previously inaccesable. Hoorah! Now head back into the starting hallway 

and go up through the hole in the floor where the B-pad used to be.


Great Balls of Poo


Small balls of poo will now appear next to the cabin. They are unlimited, but

I suggest getting through this area as quickly as possible. Go over to the 

ball and start pushing it towards the mountain. There are two paths you can

take, the left one and the right. Take the left one and push the ball as far

as you can go. The only problem you will encounter comes in the form of several

dung beatles. Avoiding them is rather simple. Just wait until they go back in

the small caves then pass'em up.

When you reach the end of the path Conker will encounter a massive beatle 

who will chug down the pall of poop. However, before he does Conker puts a 

stick of dynamite in the middle of the terd. The giant beatle is blown up 

thus letting you continue. Another ball of poop will appear next to the cabin

so head back down and start pushing it up the right path. Avoid the dung

beatles until your each the very top.

Push the now gigantic ball into the hole at the top of the mound. On the very

tip of the mountain is a cash wad. In order to obtain this you must push 

another ball up to the top of the mountain and use it as a booster step so

that you can spring jump to the top. Grab the cash then head back down the

mountain. Finally, the last poop ball. Push it past the mountain over to 

the area where it says no poopballs.

Push it over then jump down on to the platform. Press B next to the B-pad thats

sticking out of the wall. This will make accessing the Bat tower much easier

and less time consuming. Jump in the lake and swim over to the entrance. Don't

get near the whirlpool though. 



|2.5 Bats Tower | [25BAT]                                                     |




Mrs. Catfish


Right away you will be shown a cutscene. Apparently, these Catfish have a 

"fortune" in the vault on the other side of the area. They can't get there

however, because a large dogfish is guarding the entrance. In return for your

services they will reward you with 10% of the fortune. Time to get your feet

wet. Jump in and start heading down the river.

After a minute or so of swiming you will come to the Dogfish. Before you even

think about getting in the Vault your going to have to somehow restrain the 

dogfish. Dive underwater and head to the right of the dogfish. A tunnel with 

bright light is over here. Swim down to the bottom and slip inside this tunnel.

Go forward and you will reach the next area.


Barry's Mate


You emerge at the base of a tower. Climb up onto the wooden floor and head over

to the cog (mechanical wheel). Go up the small set of stairs and talk to him.

Obviously, he has lost his other three cogs and wants you to get them back. 

Conker flips the Cog over and speaks to his other side. Guess what? You have 

to climb up the tower. 

Look around for a small lift. Run over to it and it will automatically raise. 

Take out the Imp at the top (hit then dodge). Now you're going to have to 

cross an unstable log. Carefully walk across it. At one point you will step on

a B-pad. Immediatly press B to whip out a blowtorch and fry one of the bats

Do this two to three times just be sure.

Anyway, at the end of the log is a platform with a rope leading up. Jump on the

rope and start climbing (Avoid the Imp). Do this four or so more times (I 

forgot the exact number). Anyway, at the top is a large rim of fortifications. 

You could just pull the lever here and continue but some cash can be obtained 

by tailspinning around the rim. Either way press the switch then start heading


If you took out the Imps on the way down this will be a breeze but it could 

represent a slight challenge if you haven't. 


Cog's Revenge


Once you reach the bottom a small red cog will start jumping around. Equip your

bat and start chasing the cog. When you get close enough wack it then put away

your weapon and pick the cog up. Walk it over to the steps and talk to the 

large cog. After that rather "pleasurable" cutscene head over to where you 

entered the tower.

Jump down into the underwater tunnel and head through the small gate that you

opened when you pulled the lever at the top of the tower. Inside this small 

tunnel are two black Imps swiming around. The easist way to avoid them is to

swim to the very bottom fo the tunnel and swim towards the next door. When 

one of the passes head through (as long as its clear). 

Surface the grab the cog. Now swim back in the same fashion as before because 

if your hit by an Imp the Cog will swim back. Take it through the underwater

tunnel and back to the tower. Run over to the rack and put the cog on it. Now

head back down the tunnel and past the black Imps. Surface and continue through

the sewers. The last Cog is in a circular room. 

Wack it then start making your way back to the taower with it. Head through the

underwater tunnel and hand the final cog on the rock. Once all three Cogs have

been placed on the rock head over to the large stone in the middle of the room.

Now start running in the direction that the arrow is pointing for a few seconds

to trigger a cutscene.


The Combination 


The dogfish is now on an even tigher leash due to the chain retracting. Go 

through the small underwater tunnel to emerge in the river. Now start heading

down the river over to where you first entered the area. Talk to the Catfish

and they decide to open the safe so you can proceed. Guide them past the Imps,

but don't worry about dying.

When you reach the vault the real snoody one will open it up allowing you to



Blast Doors


Ah another puzzle. Head over to the B-pad and press B to bring out your sling

shot. The wheel ahead of you is infinatally rotating revealing four arrows

pointed in different directions. In order to open the blast door you will have

to hit the arrows in this order: Up, Down, Right, and Left. It will probably 

take a few shots apiece but it really isn't that hard. Once all four arrows 

have been hit the doors will open.


Cling's Lair


First off jump down to the floating B-pad and press B. Conker will put on a 

diggers hat with a flashlight on top. Now jump in the water and look around 

for a second. You are at the top of of an incredably tall room. Like in real

life, Conker has breath so your going to have to get air. Luckilly, this will

come in the form of small air bubbles located in six small shafts.

Now start making your way down to the very bottom collecting air as needed. 

The large eye like thing swiming up and down the room is called the Cling. He

takes off 1-2 blocks of chocate for every hit so watch out. When you reach 

the bottom head through the green tunnel and then head up to the top of the

room. After the breather head back down.

Go through the blue tunnel this time and you will emerge in another large 

circular room. Swim to to the top and look around for a large lever. Tailspin

up and grab on. This lever will open up a new route. Now head through the 

green tunnel and into the next room. Take the green tunnel in this room as 

well then head through the new route.

You are now in a tunnel very similar to the first one you encounter. Start 

swiming up getting air as needed (it even has the little shafts). When you 

reach the top a large pipe will come into view. Drop down it to get out of

this damn place. Oh and no, you were not the only person who went through that

at least 10 times before finding the right passage.




"Pisstastic" huh? Take out the Imp in the tunnel and head to the end for a gut

busting cutscene. Apparently the little fire demons have gotten themselves 

a high and now want to set Conker on fire. Now, we could beat the crap out of

them, but then we would end up like Richard Pryer. So what can we do to defeat

them? As the chapter title implies, piss on them.

From where you start out turn around and head over to the B-pad. Press B to 

get Conker totally wasted the head out towards the fire Imps. Press B again

to unzip your fly and start pissing. Aim the stream towards the fire Imps and

they will be dry in no time. If for some reason your run out of urine (never

happened to me), just drink some more beer.


Bross Monkeys


===========   ===================================


===========   ===================================

Ouch! This boss battle goes against everything thats decent! Anyway, the 

cutscene shows two of the Imps getting inside of the large boilder in the 

center of the room. After a bit of tinkering around they reveal the boilers

special package. Once you get in control of Conker immediatly head for one

of the corners.

Head up the ramp and over to the B-pad. The Boiler will come stomping over 

and will spray fire at you. Make sure he is in front of and press the B button

to make what what I presume is oil fall on the Boiler. While he is stunned hop

down and go near the boilers underside. Now press the B button to bring up 

two bricks and slam his nuts together. OUCH!

Repeat this process three more times for each of the corners. Once the Boiler

has gone into overdrive its balls will fall off. Roll one of them over to 

the context sensative pad (circular indent in the floor). This will open up 

the door next to the pad. Now go grab the other ball and roll it down the 

hall in which the now opened door revealed. Head through doorway at the end.


Bullfish's Revenge


After that hilarious cutscene start swimming like its for your own life. The

best way to avoid the Bullfish is to strim in a strait line. What I mean is

don't make large turns and you should be fine. He will eat the catfish too,

so that will slow him down. When you reach the dock he will jump up onto the 

land and dock himself. Jump up onto his back and tailspin up to the three

wads of chash. Now exit back to Windy.

This section contains basically all of the general information about this game.

At this time (first update) much of this is absent due to me trying to get 

the walkthrough out there since its my priority. Hopefully by the time the

walkthrough is finished or right after most of these sections will be done.



|2.6 Windy 3 | [26WI3]                                                        |



Since we took care of most of your duties earlier, our visit here will be 

short. Swim over to land but watch out for the whirlpool. Now head up the

large hill and back over to the area near the poo-cabin. To the left is a large

opening which was unlocked the last time we came here. Go inside. 

You are now done with 50% of the game.



|2.7 Sloprano | [2POOP]                                                       |




Corn off the Cob


When you first walk into this area a dung beatle will confront you. According 

to him, all of his friends have mysteriously dissapeared. He's getting out of

here, and suggests that you do the same. Yeah right! This is one of the funniest

boss battles in the history of gaming, even with the extra censorship. At the

end of the cutscene a deep voice will shout that "it" needs corn. Once your back

in control head left but avoid the large hand. 

It will squash a piece of corn  allowing you to pick it up. Go over and grab the

piece thenchuck into the large hole. Now head left and you will find a long 

winding trail. Follow this (tailspin over the gap) and you will find the second

piece of corn next to another hole. Equip your bat and hit then chuck it into 

the hole. Now  continue down the path and you will come to another ring. Hit

the piece of corn thats jumping around then throw it into the last hole to 

trigger a cutscene. 


Sweet Melody


ITS THE GREAT MIGHT POO. Yes, this is the boss you've been hearing about.




"The Great Mighty Poo" is a relatively easy boss. However, if your like me, you

have been staring at him for three minutes with same question on your mind. Who

could not love a boss made entirely out of crap? It's frickin genious! 

Okay now, the first thing I should do is explain his attacks, or attack. GMP 

only has one. He throws large poop balls at you much like the ones you pushed

up the mountain. These are easy to avoid and don't really damage you that much

anyway. Immediatly start running around the ring once you get in control. Do 

this for about two minutes and Poo will start singing.

Quickly head over to the B-pad and press B. Conker will pull out a roll of 

toilet paper. When Poo sings his mouth is wide open. Lunge a roll into his

mouth for another cutscene. Once that whole deal is over head back to where 

you found the second piece of Corn. Might Poo will start chucking poop balls

at you again.

Avoid these by running around just like with the previous ring. Once he starts

singing find the B-pad and bring out a roll of toilet paper. Throw it into his

mouth then immediatly start circling the ring again. Wait for him to start 

singing and throw another roll into his throat. The battle will start going 

faster now, so I suggest you hurry.

Run back to where you found the first piece of Corn (be careful of the gap)

and start jogging in a circle. This part will go much quicker. When he starts

to sing run over to the B-pad and press B. Mighty Poo likes to change positions

alot this time, so time your throwing. Once he is in alignment chuck the roll

into his mouth.

Do the same thing once more and you will see a cutscene. The Great Mighty Poo

sings soo loud that the poo barrier in the back of the room preventing you from

reaching the cash is broken. He's not dead yet though. Quickly run to the back

of the room and collect your cash. More Sponduli! Now jump on top of the flush

handle to send this terd down the drain. 


U-Bend Blues


Yikes. Run over to the large circle. At the bottom is a ledge which leads into

the next area. Jump down and tailspin over to the ledge (spring jump if you

need the extra distance). Head through the opening then jump into the water.

Don't worry your not going to die. Swim to the bottom of the tank and you will

encounter a long tunnel with three rotating blades. 

If you get in the way of a blade, say good bye to Conker as a hole. If you try

to go through the blades directly, you will most likely be chopped up. Instead

I recommend following the top blade left the swimming through at the last 

moment. This will you are never in the way of being chopped up and its easy to

swim through. Do this for all thre Blades.

You will come out in another pipe. Climb up the rope. If you look you will 

notice that several large blades are rotating around on the floor. On the wall

is a ladder which you need to reach in order to progress. Jump as close to the 

ladder as possible. You cannot outrun the blades Conker is not fast enough so

you will have to tailspin up.

When you reach the ladder climb up and you will emerge in a new area.


The Bluff


Fire Fire Fire!!! Cross the narrow bridge and you will encounter a weasel. I've

always had at least $1000 here, so I don't know wether or not you have to have

it. A reader tip would be appreciated. Anyway, Conker will fool the weasel into

thinking he is an Elephant. Once the cutscene is over head across the narrow

passage and over to the mini fortress.

Now head right around the fortress and you will find a doorway in the back. 

Watch out for Raptors though :). You will emerge on the second floor in the

front. Head left while avoiding the raptors (Don't forget to grab the cash

jumping around). Make your way on top of the stone head. Now press B three 

times and the head will go into the ground taking you with it. 



|2.8 Uga Buga | [28UGA]                                                       |



This is the longest chapter in the game, usually taking around an hour and a 

half minumum to complete. IMO it is also the hardest chapter in the game as 

well do to a certain race which you must complete to continue. God I hate faqing

for this.


Druken Gits


You have fallen down into what appears to be an area filled with Cavemen and

rock monsters. The first thing you need to do is jump on top of the head that

you rode into this place on. Press B again to open up the archway allowing you

to pass. Upo doing this a rock monster will role up into a small ball and 

park next to the Rock Solid bar. 

Go over and push him while avoiding the other rock monsters (easier said then

done, I know). Continue underneath the arch and roll the dormant monster over

to the small tunnel. He will role down the hill and bust a large hole in the

wall allowing you to continue. Head through opening and you will be in the

sacrafice room. 

You need to reach the door in the far right corner. Avoiding the cavemen is 

easy enough, so head down the left path and make your way over to the corner.

Head through the door.




Well, this looks a little difficult. I recommend not trying to kill the Cavemen

instead follow the walkway tailspinning over them as they come. Eventually you

will reach a large egg. Can you guess whats inside? Go over to the egg and 

press the "B" button to sit down. After a little while the egg will hatch 

reaveling a baby dinosour complete with a diaper.

If you watch the cutscene you will know that the dinosour actually thinks that

your his mother. Now  start going down the walkway. Your friend will eat any 

cavemen he comes across, so don't worry about them. Once you reach the opening

head back to the sacrafice area. Look towards the area where you first entered

this area and you can spot several cavemen.

Run over there and let your friend fill his belly. Once the area is cleared run

over to the B-pad and press B to whip out your slingshot. Look at the cieling

and you will see two large arrows. Launch a rock at the up arrow to make the

large structure in front of you raise its top half. Now lead the dinosaur up 

the ramp he will stay there.

Now head back to the B-pad and shoot the down arrow this time. The top half of

the structure will fall down thus crushing the ill-fated dinosaur. Once this

is done the large dinosaurs mouth will open.




The turtle will appear in front of the dinosaur head. Like before, jump on it's

stone and wait for a few seconds. He will throw you up onto the dinosaurs head.

Two Imps are up here, so take them out (hit then dodge, or combo). Once they

have been taken care of head to the back of the head past the eyes and you

will find a wad of cash.

Ok, now head back to the front of the dino's head (Dont jump off) and you will

find two nostrils. They will repeatedly puff out a green smoke. When the gas

has temporarily stopped jump in the nostrils and press B to spray some pepper

around. Do this for both of them then jump off the head. Go into the mouth

and start heading through it.

You will encounter a large swinging ball. Its easy to avoid just run past it

when there is a gap big enough to squeeze through. Head left at the junction 

then continue past the swinging balls. When you reach the end of the dino you

will come out what I would HOPE is a hole in a place other than his butt. Here

Conker will find a nice diguise to fool the cavemen. Now head back to the

sacrafice room.




The cavemen here will now see you some kind of leader and will follow you. Head

through the opening to emerge in the area where you first started this level.

You know need to kill the large rock monsters all around here. You yourself 

cannot defeath them alone but the cavemen can. Go near the rock monster that

you want destroyed and they will do it for you. Once they are all dead head into

the Rock Solid Bar.


Rock Solid


After the cutscene run down the large slope to the left. Now look around for 

a medium sized rock. When you find it roll it all the way back up the slope 

past the rock bouncer and onto the switch. This will open the door in the 

center of the the room. Now head down the slope again and over to the far right

side of the area. 

Here you will find a large barrel of booze identical to the one you found in

the Bats Tower. Press B while standing under it to guzzle down some beer. Now

if you look around you will see several of the rock monsters dancing. Go over

to one of them and press B to start peeing on one of them. This will make them

turn into a rolling rock. "Roll" the rock over to the door you unlocked and

make him go into the hole. 

Now you need to get rid of this hangover. Head over to where the barrel was and

you will find a small ramp leading onto a runway. Next to the ramp on top of

the runway is a stack of bottles. Go near them and press B to drink the hangover

cure drink. Now head down the hole you just pushed the rock into. 

You will emerge on the top level of the nightclub (Yeah this place is pretty

screwed up). The rock that you previously "pushed" down here will be in front

of you. Now start pushing it up the slope the left. Make your way across the

ledge while avoiding the butchy rock dancers. When you reach the end of ledge

push the rock onto the switch to open up the other two doors d

You will emerge on the top level of the club (This place is screwed up). The

rock you previously pushed down will be right in front of you. Now start pushing

the rock up the slope to the left. Push it across the ledge while avoiding 

the butchy rock dancers. When you reach the end push it onto the the switch

to open up the doorway.

You know need to get down to the bottom level. Underneath the second dancer is

a small ledge. Tailspin over to it then jump down. Now get wasted again and

find another rock monster. Piss on him to make him start rolling. Move down 

one of the two doors you just opened. This will open up the large cage and

free your Girlfriend Barry.

She doesn't recognise you since your wearing the "disguise". Anyway, you need

to get the cash that was in here cage. Go through the center doorway then head

up the slope. Jump down to the ledge under the second rock dancer. Now tailspin

over to the cage (it's a bit difficult) and grab the cash. Now jump down then

head up the large slope. Go through the opening to exit.


Bomb Run


Upon exiting you will see a cutscene in which you meet the weasel capone. Once

thats all finished you will be presented with a new task. The weasel wants you

to kill all of the recently arrived cavemen. You have a minute and thirty 

seconds to plant the bomb in the designated position or it will explode. 

You need to be quic about this! Get your ass over to the dinosaur head as fast

as possible. Head into the mouth and start making your way towards the back.

Dodge the swinging ball and don't forget to go left at the junction or you will

lose valuable time. When you reach the back of the dino a cutscene will start.

Now you need to escape.

Springjump then tailspin over to the rock floating on the lava. Now QUICKLY 

jump over to the next one, then the next one. If you don't go fast enough 

Conker will get a burned bottom. Once you reach the last rock hop onto the

ledge then continue through the door.




This has to be one of the most hellishly demonic chapters ever created. Yes, its

harder then then "The Driver" in Vice City. Anyway, the cutscene shows Conker

getting "mugged" by a couple of hoverboard riding cavemen (Back to the Future 2

anyone?). Anyway, one of them falls of the hoverboard right before they speed

off leaving you a chance to catch up.

Right when you get in control head right and go through the tunnel. Kill the

Imp inside here (hit then dodge) and go to the end of the tunnel. Carefully 

jump out onto the hoverboard and press A to accelerate. Now pause the game so

you can get use to the controls. A is jump, which will be used quite often.

Press B to swing your bat at one of the cavemen, which you will have to do 


Okay now I will give a walkthrough for the basic course, though you will 

probably due at least 10 laps. From the starting point go right and you will

encounter a heavily vegetated area. This is the ramp, which you should press

A when you reach the top. This will make Conker jump over the deep lava pool.

If you fail to jump this your gonna be cooked.

You will now pass through a series of close encounters where you will get close

to several rocks. Take the left or right path but you will have to be quick on

turning either way. After this you will go around a corner into a heavily 

filled lava area. Don't jump the ramp or you will hit the gate strait on. 

Instead head around it and into the tunnel. From here you will repeat the 


When you get close to one of the cavemen the possibilty of them being hit by

you swingin your bat becomes greater. So swing the bat and collect your cash.

When you hit two of them the course will change. Right before you encounter

the area with the ramp a gate will open up and the course will be blocked off.

Go through the gate and keep doing laps until you hit the caveman. 

When you finally hit him the course will change back to normal except you will

have to jump the ramp and fly into the tunnel now that the gate has rised. After

this grab the cash and go through the opening.


Raptor Food 


Hmm, this looks interesting. Once that incredably "special" cutscene has 

finished run over to the two cavemen next to the door. Another cutscene will

occur in which a Raptor charges out (Sorry if I'm mistaken, I'm doing this 

entire faq by memory which is something I rarely do). Anyway start running 

towards the center of the arena dodging the bites of the Raptor.

In the middle of the arena is a B-pad. Make sure you have some time to spare

then go over to the pad. When the raptor is only inchs away from tearing you

apart press B and Conker will hypnotise him. Run over to the Raptor will 

automatically mount him. Now you need to make this Raptor run around and eat

all of the cavemen in the arena. 

To eat them, press "B" while they are in front of the raptor and he will lunge

forward and eat the caveman. You will have to eat thirty or so cavemen before

you can move on. If at anytime you fall off of the Raptor you will have to 

re-hyptonotise him. Once the normal caveman are cleared several cavemen with

actuall clubs will start to appear.

These guys are pretty easy to defeat. Just gobble them up just as you did with 

the normal cavemen. Once the large group is dead several ranged cavemen will

start pouring out. They tend to stick in groups so try to get several of them

with one lunge. Once that regiment has been eaten a mixed unit will form and

attack you. Just keep eating untill all of them are dead.


Buga the Nut





Once all of the cavemen have been cleared out the overlord of the region, Buga,

will come down into the arena to fight you. Yes this guy is the size of a large

whale, and no he could not "satisfy" one. There is only one real practical way

of beating him. In fact he can be extremely easy while using this stradegy, but

if your like me, and take a long time to get something in your head, then you

might have some trouble.

First off I will explain his attacks. He has a move where he jumps up in the

air then slams his body on the ground. This creats a force-field that will 

travel 40 yards or so. If you are hit by this forcefield while on foot or on

the Raptor you will be knocked off your feet and you will lose one health block.

By jumping you can dodge the field and stay on your feet or the raptor.

His second attack is a club swing which deals tremendous damage. He has two 

variations to this, the horizontal and vertical. Now, onto defeating him. When

he does the ground slam jump up then immediatly run over to the front of him.

He will hopefully raise his club to swing at you. You have to bit him in the

private area to partially stun him. Wait until the club is far away or else he

will block it.

When you do in fact bite his testes immediatly head around to the back and press

the "B" button. The raptor will tear a chunck out of his ass. Now repeat this

stradegy twice more and the boss will be defeated. Now Conker gets to meet his

"dream girl" who is about 50x bigger than he is. Once the cutscene is over head

around the ledge and grab the $100 bucks.

Now jump down and you will be back in the U-bend area. Instead of diving in the

pool head back to the Sloprano area. Now jump down into the hole (don't worry)

and you will emerge in the poo cabin.



|2.9 Windy 4 | [29WI4]                                                        |



Now head back towards Windy. Go down the hill and cross the stream. You will

encounter Mrs. Bee again. She offers to give you $100, I mean $200, I mean $300,

I mean $400 bucks to get here hive back AGAIN. Okay fair enough. Now head back

up the large slope on the left side of the area. Go over to the wasp hive 

entrance where you found the hive originally. Head inside.

Make your way down the walkway killing any Imps in your way (hit then dodge).

When you reach the center you will find the hive turret gun. Jump on and hold

down the Right Trigger for a second. THis will get the gatling gun spinning. All

around you are holes in the walls. Wasps will start heading out of the holes

in large numbers.

Its your job to take care of these "Motherbuzzers" so that you can have a safe

exit. This is going to take a couple of minutes, so be prepared. Finally when

you have killed all of the wasps hop out and grab the hive. Rund own the walkway

then head outside. Some wasps will catch up with you here so high-tail it back

to the Queen Bee.

She will take care of the remaining Wasps and reward you with a sum of 400 

bucks. Now you need to explore the final part of Windy. See that large hill in

the center of the area? Start heading up it. Before long you will run into 

several earthworms. These little bastards can be pretty trick so slowly make

your way up tailspinning over the hole.

When you reach the top of the hill a large barrel can be seen. Go over to him

and pay him at least 2110 bucks so that you can ride him. Now hop on and role

down the hill squishing the earth worms as you go along. When you reach the

bottom a cutscene will occur in which a new area is opened. Once back in control

head into the newly opened entrance.



|2.10 Spooky | [29WI4]                                                        |




Mr. Death


Van Helsing? Yeah. Anyway, start heading down the path and you will encounter 

more of those Ceramic dolls. Wack them a few times while dodging their swings

and they will die rather quickly. Do this for all of them then head out of the


You will now be in a large...town, so ignore the ceramic dolls to the left and

swim all the way over to the other side of the river. Here you will find Gregg

the Grim Reaper. Head up the ramp to the left and go behind him to view a short

cutscene. After this head to the left and start going up the long path. Once

the large demon head comes into view jump down into the blood.

On one of the walls in this area is a lever. Jump onto it and Conker will pull

it down and unlock the large door. Now swim back over to Gregg who will give

you a shotgun (YES THE COOL PART OF THE GAME!!!). Now head up the path and go

through the large door.

You are now in a grave yard. Start walking down the path and you will be 

attacked by some zombies. Killing them is really simple. Hold down the right

trigger and a laser aid will become solid (RE4 reference?). Anyway, the best

way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head. Do this for all of the zombies

in the area then head through the gate at the end of the path.

This next part can be a real pain in the ass. Start going up the twisted path

taking out ceramic dolls as you go. DO NOT RUN. Skeleton worms will pop up 

every once in a while and throw you off the walkway thus killing you. Take it

slow and be ready to shoot them at all times. When you reach the end of the

path go through the door.


Count Bacula


After that disgusting cutscene you will gain control of Conker...in bat form.

This is a little weird but the next part isn't to hard. You need to feed the

count until he explodes. To do this you need to grab the villagers wondering

around and throw them into the meat grinder. You have to feed him about six

or so, so make sure you look hard and good. The library has a few, as does the

main hall.

Once you feed him enough the Chris-Farley esque count will blow up spraying

his blood everywhere. You are now human again. Thank god.




Now this is the part thats going to be a MAJOR pain. Conker is back in his Van

Helsing form, and he has his trusty shotty. The bad part about this is that the

mansion is now crawling with undead squirrel zombies. Your main task is to 

escape the mainsion, though you will have to kill several zombies in order to

get the keys which unlock the front door.

KEY #1

From your starting location start heading around the room sticking to the left

side. Eventually you will reach the upper part of the dining room. Quickly take

out the two Zombies up here then start walking across the highbeams. Be carefull

and you should reach the key without too much trouble. Now head back across the

beams and into the grinding room.

Go around the beams back to your starting point then head into the library. Now

head all the way around the edge of the library (don't fall off bookcase or the

key will escape). Go down the ramp and head into the hallway. Go to the end of

the hallway and you will reach the main hall (Resident Evil anyone?). Inside

this hall is a mob of zombies just waiting to eat you. Avoid them and head 

over to the front door and insert the key.

KEY #2

I recommend  taking out a few of the zombies in here to make things easier 

later. Once your ready to move on head over to the opposite side of the room 

from where you entered. Take out the group of zombies in this hallway then

continue. Now head out into the garden where you will find a hedge mazer. Head

into the maze and work your way to the middle while avoiding zombies.

When you find the second key head back to the main hall. Avoid the zombies and

insert the key into the front door.

KEY #3

OK last one. Take out a few more zombies just incase then head up the large

set of stairs. Go through the door and head left. You are now back where you

started so head over to the ladder which was opened when you inserted the second

key. Head up the ladder then pull the lever. This will open up a secret passage

on the other side of the room next to the key. 

Now start making your way over to the key by jumping over the blood pump. When

you reach the other side grab the key then head through the door you just 

opened with the lever. The doorway leads back into the main hallway. So quickly

run the key over to the door to unlock it. 


Mr. Barrel


In the main hall there is a large barrel next to one of the pillars. You will 

need him to escape this place. Go over and hop on then roll out of the door. 

You can squash some zombies if you want but its not necessary. When outside 

you will have to roll down the twisting path which can become frustrating. 

Once you reach the bottom head into the graveyard.

Now head through the graveyard and back over to the town. Go down the path to

the right and stop when you meet Gregg. Go down the ramp and into the blood

river. If you just roll off the edge the barrel will explode and you will have

to start over. Now make your way to the right side of the area and peddle up 

the large slope. 

Go over to the patch of land and grab the 100 bucks. Now jump into the hole

and you will end up at the "Hungover" area. Swim over to the little patch of 

land in the center of the river then hop up onto the rock. COntinue up the

path until you reach the bridge. Now head into the doorway to complete this 




|2.11 It's War | [211IW]                                                      |



Yes! We finally made it to the cool chapter! Anyway, you should be back in 

Windy. Head around to the left slope near the Wasp hive. Here you will find 

a small section of barbed-wire. Tailspin over it then head through the now 

opened door.


Power's Off


A cutscene will be displayed in which a plane crashs in front of the dock exit.

This basically prevents you from continuing any further. So what do you do? Blow

up that piece of crap! First off we must restore power to the dock. In the 

center of the area is a large pier with two beaches. Facing the plane head right

and jump down onto the beach.

Here you will find a large switch. Jump up and pull the switch down. Now head

up the ladder to your left then go back to the center of the pier. Here you 

will find a small set of rails and a crate on top of them. Push the crate to

the left (facing towards the plane) then head back up to the entrance. To the

right is a bathroom. Go up to it and press B.




It's TNT! Dynamite! TNT!... 

A grunt with TNT strapped to his back will come out of the bathroom. He needs

help moving around so we are going to "help" him. Now push him down the slope

and he will start rolling. Hopefully you pushed the crate to as far left as 

possible. The crate should stop him. Now you need to roll him to the left 

down the pathway.

Several crates will be jumping up and down making your job a little harder. Take

your time and you should reach the end of the pathway no problem. He will blow

up but only take half of the plane with him. Now jump into the water and swim 

over to the beach where you turned on the power. Climb up the ladder and head

back to the entrance.

Go back up the slope and press B next to the bathroom door. This will reveal

another TNT grunt. Push him down the slope just like the previous one. The crate

will stop him and allow you to push him to the right passage. Instead of blocks

there are several motion detecter robots along this path. Don't stay too close 

or they will explode taking you and the TNT guy with them.

Push the TNT guy all the way over to the end of the pathway. Blow up the plane

then swim back over to the middle pier. Talk to the commander then hop into

the boat. He will knock you out.


The Assault


Conker will wake up inside a boat. Around him are several Squirrels dressed in

WWII era uniforms and holding guns. Conker himself is dressed in a Captains 

Uniform with the little "II" design on his helmet to last. No you are not Tom

Hanks you are still Conker. After that ripped off cutscene you will be given 

control of Conker on the landing sequence.

From here on out the game will be strictly shooting. Right when you get in 

control run over to the green flare and hide behind cover. Wait for the Tediz

to start reloading then quickly run over to the red flare. Take cover here and

wait for the gunners to reload. Now quickly dash across to the next flare and

then over to the entrance of the base.


Sole Survivor


As you near the entrance to the Tediz base Conker comes across another squirrel.

It turns out that Conker is the only one in his squad to make it up the beach.

This means that he must finish the objective (clear out the machine gunnners)

all by himself. After the short explanation, Conker looks back at the squirrel

only to find a bullet hole in his head.

In true Scarface style Conker picks up the machine gun from the dead squirrel

then plucks a cigar in his mouth. Welcome to funnest part of the game! This 

weapon is relatively simple to use, just aim and fire. It will usually take

around 10 or so shots to kill one of the Tediz infantry. It also has unlimited

ammo, which is a big plus.

A large group of Tediz will spawn around you. It's your job to take them all

out. Start spraying them with bullets while moving around to avoid damage. Once

they are all dead head over to the corpse of the dead squirrel. To the left 

is a large door. Shoot the lock off then step inside. The Tediz here will try

to fool you by hiding behind the crates.

Walk forward and the Tediz will start swarming out of the woodwork. Run around

guns blazing until they are all dead. A door on the other side of the area will

open and some lasers will be revealed. Go into the prone position (crawling)

and make your way underneath them. Now head right and take out the Tediz that

pop out (sorry if I'm not accurate this faq is being made soley by memory).

Head through the next set of lazers by sticking to the right. Kill the Tediz

that jump out here then jump into the next set of lasers. When you start to

fall start the tailspin and glide through. Another group of Tediz will attack

you so kill them then continue. Continue down the hallway until you reach the


Go down the hallway and tailspin through the lasers. When you pass this set 

a large group of Tediz will attack you. This can be difficult so use the block

as cover and take the Tediz out one-by-one. Once the area is cleared head down

the hallway and pass the fire breathing guy. Now turn left and go through a 

set of lasers.  Head down this hallway and dodge the fire then head right. 

Go through this set of lasers and take out the Tediz. Now head into the next



Casualty Dept


Once the cutscene is over you will be attacked by a group of knive wielding

maniacs. Start taking them out in the same fashion as a Tediz infantry man. 

After you have killed all of them a giant Teddy will be released from his cage.

This guy is the Conker equivilant of Lisa Trevor from Resident Evil. Start

running around dodging or getting behind cover while continously firing on him.

After a massive amount of firing the beast will fall.

Next you will view a cutscene in which a squirrel test subject asks you to 

release him. Go over to the wall near where you entered the room and you will

find two switches. Flip either one, it doesn't matter. The squirrel will spark

up. Once the cutscene is over press the other switch to open the door on the

other side of the are. Go through the door on the other side of the area.

Head down the hallway and go over to the gun turret. Mount up and get ready. 

What seems like half of the Tediz army will attack you through the two 

corridors. Keep shifting your fire back and forth between the two corridors and

the Tediz will eventually stop coming. Now that the seemingly infinate number

of waves has stopped you can go through the door at the end of the hallway.


Saving Private Rodent


Honestly, after the introduction to the level who wasn't expecting something 

similar to this? Anyway, you need to rescue Private Rodent, who somehow has 

not died despite being shot at by a firing squad. Take out the Tediz quickly 

making sure you take out the explosives one first. Once all of the Tediz have

been taken out a cutscene will occur.

Private Rodent is wearing body armor that is impenatrable, or so he says. Once

the cutscene is over start heading down the path. Go left and you will encounter

what I call the "explosives path". As you travel down the path you will be

constantly bombarded with exploding shells and those bomb spider critters. From

practicing I have formed a stradegy for dealing with both.

First off, make sure Private Rodent is right next to you at all times. Head

up the path. When you here a loud noise that sounds like something is coming

for you, immediatly run back a few steps. A bomb will fall down fromt he sky 

and blow up. If you go far enough away then you shouldn't have any health taken


As your traveling up the path every so often you will encounter the bomb 

spiders. Private Rodent is invincible, so were goint to use that to help us out.

Whenever the spider gets close run behind Private Rodent. The spider will go

for Rodent and blow up. This does nothing however because Rodent's armor 

prevents him  from being damaged. Continue up to the end of the trail.

At the end of the path is a large metal door. Jump in the water to the right and

swim over to the large B-pad. Press B to ship out your now improved slingshot

a.k.a. Rocket Launcher. Fire two rockets at the two large bolts supporting the

metal door. Now you need to take out the remaining tediz. Use the rocket 

launcher or your machine gun then head through the doorway. 


Chemical Warfare


I know what your thinking! Too bad the tank isn't used more. Anyway, hope inside

and look around. You should see a large green substance covering a door on the

other side of the area. Fire off a rocket at the substance to open it up. Jump

out of the tank and run over to the entrance then head inside.

Run down the walkway and jump over the spider mine. Jump back over the gap to

make him fall inside the radioactive material. Continue down the path repeating

this for each one of the mines. When you reach the end pull the lever. This 

will open the door near where you left the tank. The walkway around you is 

slowly collapsing, so I recommend you hurry back to the tank. 


The Tower


I honestly don't see why soo many people complain about this part. The only 

frustrating thing is that there is no checkpoint and you have to do everything

over once you finish. Oh well! Heh just kidding. This part can be rather 

difficult if your bad at platforming. Drive your tank over to the bridge. See

that tower int he center of the area? It has a large machine gun on top that

will fire at Conker unless hes inside the tank.

Wait the gun isn't aimed at you then tailspin across the gap. Make sure not to

fall down. When you reach the other side immediatly run up the ramp and press B

on the B-pad. Conker will slam the bridge down allowing your tank to cross. Hop

back in and drive across to the next bridge. Before you continue take out one

of the tower legs.

Repeat the stradegy for the next bridge. Hop back into the tank and blast 

another leg off of the tower. The difference between this bridge and the 

previous one is that several Tediz with grenades were guarding. Run them over 

with the tank then continue on to the next bridge. Cross this and do the butt

blast to continue. 

Take out the third leg then steamroll the Tediz. Make your way to the last 

bridge. This one is kind of tough tailspin across, but hopefully you will get 

it. Use the B-pad then roll over the remaining Tediz. Shoot the last leg and 

the tower will crumble. Hop out of the tank and tailspin over to where the tower

used to be. Jump inside to continue. 


Little Girl


After that cute cutscene is over you will be presented with a new task. In the

toxic waters surrounding your new-found island are several ICBM submarines. You

need to take them out. This objective is really easy though it's still alot

of fun. Head over to one of the platforms on the edge of the island and press

B on the B-pad.

Conker will take out a grenade launcher to destroy the submarines with. Fire 

1-2 rockets at each sub to destroy it. If the sub gets a missle off just move

back to dodge it. When all of the subs have been destroyed on one platform head

on to the next one. As you go from platform to platform the number of subs

will increase dramatically. 

Finally when all of the platforms have been cleared head to the center of the



The Experiment


-----------   --------------


-----------   --------------

I knew there was something funny about that little girl! Yeah, I'm bad with 

jokes...Well, anyway, you need to defeat this thing. Once you are in control

immediatly head for the tank on the edge of the island. Hop inside tank and 

look at the boss. He, or shall I say she, will pull out a pair of big guns. 

Don't move, instead fire at the two guns to stun the boss.

Now unload your explosives into the little girl. At this point he boss will go

into a frenzy. Shoot the large red circle on its back to take away one third of

it's life. The little girl will get pissed any take out another set of big guns.

Repeat this stradegy for the next to sets and this boss will be taken care





You have four minutes and thirty seconds to get out of this base. Immediatly 

jump down into the hole which was created when you destroyed the boss. You 

will now have to go through a series of lasers like you did earlier in the 

level (Yeah I know). 

For the first set jump up and tailspin diagnally to the left. The second set

is a bit harder. Climb on top of the box then tailspin through. For the third

set you need to tailspin diagnally right through the lasers (opposite of the

first set).  The fourth set is the hardest one. Climb onto the box then time

it so you tailspin through without hitting the upper bar. 

A small group of Tediz will attack you. Considering what you've been through, 

these guys should be no problem. The fifth set of lasers is one the most 

difficult. Climb up onto the box and crawl under the lasers. For the sixth and

final set do the same thing as with the fifth set except watch out for the

extra bar at the end. Head through the next door.

The next part is alot of fun. Start heading through the room and you will be

attacked by some Tediz. Take out your...Rocket Launcher? Yeah...Anyway start

turning everyone in the blood splatter. Once all of the Tediz have been killed

head through the newly opened doorway. You don't get to use the rocket launcher

anymore. :(

This next part was one of the hardest in the game for me. You have to make it

back down the beach while taking out Teddy rocket launcher guys that can kill

you in one hit! There is a checkpoint here though, or else I would have probably

given up on this game. I made a small map.

  _________|___ X  |     X = Start

 /*                |     * = RPG Teddy

|  ________________|

|                  *\

| *          *   *   |

 \________       *   |

          \          |

           \        / 

            |      |

Sorry about the lack of a word walkthrough, but I think the small map does a 

much better job. Make sure that you take the RPG Tediz out immediatly or else

you will have to do it gain. Once you reach the landing boat a cutscene will

start in which you and the General talk about the Battlefield. "What as sight.

Yes it is...". Gee I wonder where that was. 



|2.12 Heist | [212HS]                                                         |




The Windmills Dead


Head over to the center of the area. Climb up the winding hill (The worms are

dead for good) then head over to the windmill. After the cutscene jump down 

into the hole then head for the doorway. Have a little chat with the Weasel

here and finally meet up with your girlfriend.


Enter the Vertex


You and Berri have been hired by the Weasel to knock over a bank. This chapter

is more fun than difficult, so don't sweat over the enemies. You and Berri take

an elevator up to a large room filled with pillars. Blocking you from continuing

are several laser sets that will only be deactivated when you kill enough 


Use the B-pads to the left and right to do that spring jump from the Matrix

and start shooting the Weasels. Like I said before this chapter is more for 

fun then a challenge. When the first set of lasers is deactivated move on to 

the next set. Do the same thing you did with the previous set and repeat it 

for the remaining ones.

When all of the lases have been deactivated head through the door on the other

side of the room. In here are several stacks of money. Run around grabbing

them until the cutscene occurs. More De Niro! 


The Vault


Why some people think the cutscene you just saw is "sad" I will never know. Once

it's finished head over to the lever underneath the throne and pull it down.

This will open a door with a large space suit. Run over to equip the suit.

-----------------   -----------------------------------------


-----------------   -----------------------------------------

If this doesn't look like an Alien, I don't know what does. This boss had two

different attacks. The tailswing, which will knock you off your feet, and the

bite, which will knock you back and take away a health block. In order to 

avoid the tail swing jump up before it hits you. To dodge the bit just crouch

by using the left trigger. 

Your objective is to throw him out of the loading bay. In order to do this you

must complete the punch combo (repeatedly press the right trigger). The first

time is really easy, just avoid one of his attacks then knock him out. Now

quickly run behind him and grab his tail. You now need to rotate this heavy

guy (rotate the left stick, not just the camera). When he come in line with the

hole toss him.

Unfortunatly, he climbs back in and attack you. Do the same thing you did before

except being a little more carefull since the battle has a faster pace. Once you

throw him out for a second time he will climb back in again. This time he will

be much harder than before. My best advice is to crouch then follow up with a

combo. Throw him out for a third time to beat the game. 

Too bad for the "sad" ending, but at least you've beaten the game and unlocked

pottymouth. Notice that Conker walks down a different path at the end. Do I hear




|03. Game Information| [3GAME]                                                |



This section contains most of the miscellanious information about the game. I 

have this section in all of my faqs now. Here you can find the basic gameplay

mechanics and some info on other parts of the game. I did most of this section

in one sit.



|3.1 Conker Review | [31CRE]                                                  |



Conkers Bad Fur Day was released in 2001 on the Nintendo 64. It was hailed as a

surprisingly awesome platformer despite its mature theme. Yes, BFD was in fact

a mature game in which the lovable squirrel Conker (From the old Conker games)

stared in. Despite it being of extremely quality, it was released too late (GC

was almost out) and didn't sell too well. Now Rare, which is owned by

Microsoft, has remade BFD and now we have Conker: Live and Reloaded.

Okay, on to the story. You play the role of Conker, a red squirrel who, after 

getting himself wasted at the local bar decides to head home to see his 

girlfriend. When he comes to junction he passes out. The next day, he wakes up

only to find himself hungover and sick.  The story goes on from there. You 

will encounter several other creatures in your travels, all of which are potty

mouths. Overall itís an awesome journey, especially because of the hilarious 


Now, I hate platformer games. I just hate them. So, as you can see, I was a 

little nervous about picking this one up. Man was I surprised! Conker has 

absolutely amazing gameplay, though it does have rough spots. Puzzles often 

involve you doing something your parents wouldn't approve of, whether it is 

tickling a big breasted plant so a bee can "pollinate" her, or throwing toilet

papers into the mouth of a big terd, Conker certainly sticks with its 


The basic combat is easy enough, though it is kind of a big turnoff that Conker

doesn't have better melee moves. The creatures you face will come in all shapes

And sizes (sizes...) and will do anything to stop you. The weird thing about 

Conker is that most of the enemies would fit into a Mario game pretty well 

(Excluding the oven with the two "balls"). Make no mistake; this game earns 

its M rating. 

Conker is a beautiful game. Literally, I haven't seen a game this Eye-Dropping

since DOOM3. Everything is so light and colorful. The textures are extremely 

high resolution and sharp. Conker himself looks breathtaking. Each individual

hair on his body is drawn out. The environments are huge, yet the game runs at 

a constant 30fps. The main drawback is that load times, while quick, happen 

very often. By the end of the game you will be extremely annoyed.

Sound is another story. The game is full of nice little melodies that make you

want to dance, but it's lacking something, Attitude. Duke Nukem anyone? Where

is the Metallica? Seriously some real music would fit inside the game perfectly

The character dialogue is as hilarious as it is controversial. Name a cuss word

and this game has it. While the more serious cusswords are bleeped out (makes 

it even funnier), there is still plenty of language.

Overall Conker is a great game and can be enjoyed by everyone who can handle 

the content. I don't have Live so don't ask me if youíre just getting it for

the multiplayer.



|3.2 Controls | [32CON]                                                       |




Platformer Configuration


A - Jump (Pressing it twice will do the tailspin)

B - Consext Sensative Action

Right Trigger + A - Spring Jump

Right Trigger - Crouch


Melee Weapon Configuration


A - Jump (no tailspin)

B - Equip/Unequip

Right Trigger- Hit


Ranged Weapon Configuration


A - Jump (Tailspin included)

B - Equip/Unequip

Right Trigger - Fire


Space Suit Configuration


A - Jetpack

Right Trigger - Attack

Left Trigger - Crouch



|3.3 Basics | [33BAS]                                                         |






Aside from the first chapter you will have to manage how much health you have.

This is represented in chocalate blocks that are found scattered all over the

world. In order to get the block just run into it and a chewing noise will play

and the chocalate will dissapear. If you are at full health chocalate will just

become invisible when you walk over it. When all of your blocks are gone Conker

will die. Chocolate bocks will respawn accordingly.




The number of lives you have is represented by the number of Squirrel tails you

have. If you never die through-out the whole game the squirrel tails will never

appear. If you do however than you will be transported to what I assume is hell

and view a rather funny cutscene. This only happens the first time sadly. Lives

are kind of a gimmick though. If you die and have 0 tails you will reload your

game with three tails and full health.




This is the key element to all platformers. Jumping in Conker is a little more

complicated than in other platformers such as Mario 64, but at the core it's

still relatively simple. Jumping is the first move you learn to do. In the

chapter "Hungover" Conker will remember how to perform the feat when he reachs

the top of the waterfall. Its the most basic of moves and can be performed

in almost any situation including in water.

So how do you jump? Like I said before, its relatively simple. While on the 

ground or in water press the "A" button. Conker will thrust upward into the air

for a second. If you want to continue your jump you can press and hold the A

button again. Conker will spin his tail allowing you a few more seconds of 

flight. You can also spring jump by holding the right trigger and pressing A.

This time Conker will spring up into the air at twice the previous hieght.




Fighting, like jumping, is simple as well. In the very first chapter you will 

get a bat with nails sticking out of it. This will be your main weapon for 3/4

of the game. In order to equip it press the B button. To unequip it press B 

again. In order to swing the bat press the right trigger. You can perform a 

combo by press the Right Trigger then pausing for a second then pressing it 

again twice. This combo will kill an Imp instantly.



|3.4 Enemies | [34ENE]                                                        |






Description: These guys are pretty crude enemies. They are the first you will

meet and the first to go (as in leave the gameplay). In my opinion they are 

very annoying due to their one attack. Whenever you get too close to one they

will pop out a row of spoikes in a 360 degree angle all around their body. After

a few seconds this will go away but it makes fighting them rather annoying. 

Hit them around 4-6 times or do a combo to defeat them.




Description: You can tell that this enemy was thrown in at the last second as

some filler. Their basic appearance consists of a tight fitting dress. They have

only one attack, in which they wack you with their bare hands. In essence they

are very similar to the Imps because of the fact they are dumb, slow and very

weak. A couple hits will break them into pieces.




Description: Dung Beatles are located near and around the large mound of poo. 

They are immortal except when using the slingshot. Unfortunatly, you can only

kill four of them in the entire game. They have a few different moves but it

all boils down to them flying over to you and squashing you like a small insect.

This only takes off one health block which isn''t too bad but it still annoying.




Description: Conker has the most awesome ability for defeating these guys. One

your first and only encounter there is a large barrel of beer. Go get tanked

then press B to pull your pants down. Now piss away and put the fire out. The

cutscene involving fire imps is pretty funny, so go ahead and watch it. The only

thing I didn't like was that they can set you on fire if you get too close.




These guys are immortal to normal attacks so I wouldn't even try killing them.

The best thing to compare them to is an Imp. Just like Imps they are slow and

incredably stupid. It is ridiculously easy to dodge their attacks. Good thing

you kill them off forever, because I hate them.




Description: No you are not playing Resident Evil. You first meet the "Zombies"

while in the chapter "Spooky". Like in other games they are pretty easy to 

dodge due to their low intelligance and overall speed. They can run at times 

but for the most part you will be safe as long as you have your trusty shotgun

to blow their heads off. Yes the only way to beat them is to blow the crap out

of them.




Description: Once you reach the "Its War" chapter these guys will start 

appearing They  carry fully automatic guns though they tend to like to get 

down and dirty by sticking their Bayonets inside you. Overall these guys are 

pretty easy. Fire off around five rounds at their upper torso and its bye bye.

You can play as these guys in Chapter X.




Description: You only have to deal with these enemies for one chapter and they

are basically nothing more than cannon fodder. In the Matrix spoof just use the

Context Pads to jump around and unload a few rounds in to them.



|3.5 Characters | [35CHA]                                                     |



Conker - What can I say? Conker is an normal red squirrel who just wants to see

his girlfriend and get some sleep. Unfortunatly he takes the wrong way home and

ends up wondering around the world solving various puzzles and defeating several

different foes including a giant ball of crap. Not exactly a normal day, but

as Conker says "its one of those days". Overall Conker is a lovable though 

contraversal character.

Berri - Conkers girlfriend. She's a dumb chipmonk who certainly fits the 

stereo type for "Dumb Blonde". Yes she is a blond covered in fur. Too bad you

only see her a few times.

Birdy - This is the scarecrow you meet in the very beginning of the game. Conker

isn't the only one drinking in this world. He explains what "Context Sensative"

is and gives you a little help here and there.

Queen Bee - She keeps getting her hive stolen and you must get it back. Her

husband, the kind bee, has ran off on her and she is obviously depressed. Shes

also loaded.

Franky - This is the pitchfork that at first tries to "kick your ass" but will

become your friend after a little bit. 

Paintcan - This guy is a paintcan who gives Frank a hard time about not wanting

to kick your ass and about failing to kick your ass. Not very nice.

Paintbrush - The paintcans buddy who repeats everything the paintcan says.

Haybot - A large robot covered in hay to disguise himself. Pretty dangourous,

and a total ripoff of the Terminator. "Buff you #$%hole" is a nice example.

Turtle - You only meet him three times but he provides a nice lift when you 

need to reach hard to reach places.

King Bee - The cheating husband of the Queen Bee. He needs you to get Daisy the

Sunflower to "open up" so he can go in and "pollinate" her. He looks like a bit

of a loser.

Daisy the Sunflower - Ah the beatiful Sunflower with large breasts. You even 

get to bounce on them. Now this is what I call a platform game.

Dung Beatle - This guy rewards you with a ball of poop if you get his cows to

succesfully crap. Hes not important at all, but how many characters listed so

far have been. 

Catfish - These guys reward you with a "fortune" when you collect it from their

secret vault. They aren't very friendly, and I didn't miss 'em once they 

where gone. 

Cog - This rude piece of machinery likes to insult you with a cigar in its 

mouth and cog on its "shelf".

Great Might Poo - Yes, there is a boss in BFD called the Great Might Poo. Also,

his song is one of the most hilarious things I've ever heard. Though censored

a little more in Live and Reloaded, he still delivers a spectacular performance.

Who doesn't like a boss entirely out of crap.

Baby Raptor - This ill-fated creature helps you kill some of the cave men 

preventing you from finishin the "Uga Buga" chapter. Too bad he has to get 


Mob Weasel - He hires you to get rid of the cave man problem. In the end you 

find out that he is working for the Panther King.

Panther King - Your main foe through out the game, though you only meet him 

once in person. He needs a table stand to keep up his milk table. From his

proffesors conclusion he needs a red squirrel to fir the gap. A.K.A. you.

Uga Buga - This incredable large caveman has a special "secret weapon" that you

need to reveal in order to beat him. Ha ha ha!

Gregg - "Gregg" is actually the Grim Reaper. He hates cats, and squirrels for

that matter. He has an incredably high pitched voice. His cutscenes are some 

of the funniest in the game.

Proffesor - This German accented character is the one responsible for the Tediz,

chocalate and the demise of the Panther King.

Count - This is your ancestor who turns you into a vampire so you can feed him


General - The commander for the Squirrel invasion. He has some pretty funny 

lines, so be sure to watch the cutscenes in the "Its War!" chapter.

Private Rodent - Can you say "Rip-off". Private Rodent is a military expert who

Conker met while in the bar at the beginning of the game. He has expiremental 

armor and cannot die. Its nice to have a shield that cannot die. He also helps

you operate the tank.



|4. Frequently Asked Questions |                                              |




Q: I don't have enough cash to get past the weasels/barrels, what do I do?

A: I don't know, maybe you should look for some more cash. Use another faq if

   you can't find any cash.


Q: I'm stuck in the chapter ____ and I need help.

A: Read the faq.


Q: How do I unlock the cussing mode (pottymouth).

A: You must complete the game once or get all six metals in multiplayer.


Q: I heard that you could unlock the cussing in single player, how do you do it?

A: THERE IS NO WAY TO UNLOCK CUSSING. The audio files have the blips over them.


Q: Why is the Sky Jockie so cheap?

A: Don't ask me. I didn't design the game. I am sorry you cannot counter.


Q: When will you make a walkthrough for Chapter X?

A: As soon as I have time. 




|5. Credits |                                                                 |



-Rarusk, for inspiring me to write faqs

-A I e x, just because he makes 300kb guides in two days

-Rare for making an awesome port of a great game

-Microsft (notice I didn't put M$) for publishing

-Gamefaqs for hosting

-CDuke not only for his walkthrough helping me beat the game, but also for

the sub-chapter names. Thanks!

Copyright 2005 David Donaldson