Call of Duty: Black Ops - 8 simple reasons you suck at multiplayer

You're doing it wrong

Reason #6 %26ndash; You don%26rsquo;t use what you brought

Why make your poor avatar schlep out onto the battlefield carrying a ridiculous load of ammunition and firearms, and then never even use it? Why outfit yourself with a load of flashbangs, a grenade, a rocket launcher, and an underbarrel grenade launcher if all you're going to do is fire off a little pea shooter? If you brought it, use it. Seriously, what’s the harm in tossing a flashbang into a room you think might have an enemy inside. We know, you're thinking, “But I might need it later!” You won’t. If you don’t use it now, there might not even be a later. The average CoD lifespan is probably around 20-30 seconds, so make the most of it.

How to fix it: Chuck your grenades, and launch your rockets. You'll respawn with more anyway. If they save your life, great. If you're going to die anyway, those pieces aren't going to stop that, but if you use them early, you might just get an extra kill or two out of the deal.

Worst in: Domination, Headquarters, Sabotage

Above: The average Black Ops player will only use one of the 29 guns strapped to his body

Reason #5 %26ndash; You're impatient

We promise you there will still be people left to kill if you take five seconds to get into position rather than three seconds. So stop sprinting everywhere, you maniac. This goes along with number seven in the “stop getting yourself killed” category. Sprinting is another one of those risky activities that leaves you defenseless long enough to get fragged. It's a subtle difference, but the simple lag time in getting your gunsights up after running is more than enough time to leave you waiting to respawn, and we promise that will take up more of your time than if you'd walked.

How to fix it: Be patient. If you even slightly expect there to be enemies nearby, just walk. Sprinting should be reserved for the opening of the match, crossing areas you know an enemy is sniping, and moving through zones you know to be safe (ideally based on spy plane reconnaissance).

Worst in: Team Deathmatch, Free-for-All

Above: Cary Grant kindly requests you relax rather than have to respawn again

Reason #4 %26ndash; Your life means too much

Most game types in Black Ops have absolutely nothing to do with kills, and yet without fail every match (of any game type) will include at least a couple people who jealously guard their mortality as though they were the last scion of an ancient monarchy. Staying alive is cool and all; rack up enough kills and you'll get killstreak rewards that can help your team win the match. But if you have no kills, or you've already received your killstreak rewards (we’re looking at you, sniper fetishists) then get yourself into the action and use your gear so you can do some damage, die and respawn with more gear.

How to fix it: Stop worrying so much about whether you survive. It takes all of five seconds to get back to the fight after respawning, and you get a bunch of useful stuff when you do it too. Unless it's a small team game, it's borderline narcissistic to think your whole team will collapse if you aren't alive for three seconds.

Worst in: Domination, Sabotage, Headquarters

Above: Death isn't so bad. There's often a sweet zombie afterlife anyway

Reason #3 %26ndash; Your life means too little

In direct contrast to the mooks described in number four, there are always people (mostly in Team Deathmatch) who fail to realize that their deaths are contributing to the enemy score. You can see it happen. The same people will respawn right next to you and then sprint out onto the battlefield as quickly as possible, only to return to the respawn point mere moments later. You're not just getting yourself killed, you're bringing down the entire team with your impatient, sprint-y nonsense.

How to fix it: We get it. Sometimes the match just doesn't go your way. There are a thousand reasons why you might be having a bad match. That's totally OK. But the way to turn the match around is NOT too repeatedly rush blindly into the meat grinder as fast as you can. The other team is better than you, and you need to take steps to mitigate their higher skill level. Stay low. Move more slowly. Stick with teammates. Stay out of the action so your bad game doesn't cause a loss for the entire team. And watch the movie Gallipoli, for God’s sake.

Worst in: Team Deathmatch

Above: The world is so wonderful. Why are you in such a hurry to die?

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