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Bayonetta

In a world where videogames are quite often accused of exploitation, Bayonetta goes beyond titillation and into borderline pornography: featuring more crotch shots than a Larry Flint publication, often accompanied by a teasing wink from the lady in black, Sega’s latest heroine flaunts her oversized assets as she dances her way through her missions, favoring as many pelvic thrusts and split-legged moves as possible. All that’s saving Bayonetta’s modesty is a skin-tight catsuit made from her hair. Fortunately for pervs like us, it’s a costume that frequently falls right off.

There’s no doubting the market for this one. As appealing to the eyes as it is to organs lower down, this is Devil May Cry with a sultry porn starlet in place of the cheese-grater-stomach hunks. Hardly surprising given DMC’s creator is in charge. He’s designed a unique slant on a familiar world – one which bears a striking resemblance to Dante’s universe but makes everything that’s gone before seem bland and sensible by comparison.

You can blame that daft hairdo for much of that. Impracticalities aside (it must take an age to straighten) it’s Bayonetta’s most useful feature. Battling angels atop a clock tower as it plummets from the heavens isn’t something best done in your birthday suit, believe us. A quick flick of the head however and that all changes. Those locks unfurl themselves and gain a life of their own.

At one point the hair morphs into a giant fist, scattering any angel unfortunate enough to stray in its path. Another example sees a Pythonesque foot crash down from the sky, crushing everything beneath with its man-sized stiletto heel. Then there’s the guillotine which Bayonetta kicks angels underneath for a spot of impromptu beheading, and the iron maiden which makes Mortal Kombat’s fatalities look like a civilized round of boxing.

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12 comments

  • Pheonix03 - January 20, 2009 1:55 a.m.

    Bayonetta is going to OWN 2009! Like all of Hideki Kamiya's games in the past, Bayonetta will be the best game of the year, but it won't sell as much as it should. Bayonetta is going to raise the bar for action games!
  • Fionn1 - January 19, 2009 12:45 p.m.

    So thats all the Tomb Raider fans who made Lara crawl through tunnels to goggle her arse sold...lol. I reckon it will be good...a saucy gymnastic minx with lots and lots of weapons...cant fail really can it.
  • MrScottimus - January 18, 2009 8:17 p.m.

    I dont know man... I'm not usually into these games but this chick looks bad. I might bite.
  • corronchilejano - January 18, 2009 6:36 a.m.

    This game must fail... but it won't.
  • Samael - January 17, 2009 6:26 a.m.

    Gonna keep an eye on this one. Looks unique and interesting.
  • IslanderSwagg - January 17, 2009 4:25 a.m.

    this game looks wierd, but fun its a maybe for me
  • thor0997 - January 17, 2009 12:25 a.m.

    Im sorrys I was tiords, like i am nau.
  • thor0997 - January 15, 2009 11:57 p.m.

    Wow this game is yelling, "I have boobs, and guns if you want that." But I really cant complaine, when DMC's all had Dante with abs that could crush a elephant, so whatever.
  • Jbo87 - January 15, 2009 11:27 p.m.

    I never enjoyed DMC and when I saw that this was by the same chap my disinterest grew massively.......... but she fights with her hair? Hmmmm, strangely compelling. We'll see how this pans out. Is Pythonesque a word? If not it definitely should be.
  • SheetSandwich - January 20, 2009 11:03 p.m.

    <- Josh Homme, coolest man alive. I am a little interested, and I will be keeping an eye on it, but I DON'T CARE ABOUT NUDITY! A game should be based around GAMEPLAY, and I'll need to see good gameplay before I say yes.
  • Chiropteran - January 19, 2009 12:57 p.m.

    I have a couple problems here. When was the last time you ever looked at a Larry Flint publication? There is, believe me, no comparison. Also, it takes no time at all for her hair to straighten. Let's not be clever at the expense of honest criticism. Whatever the previews, how does it play? How do you aim four guns at once? Is there anything other than shooting involved? If you're looking for skin, a subscription to Playboy on line is not much more than the cost of a game. All skin, all day, no freaking hair to get in the way. Only if you're old enough, of course.
  • Corsair89 - January 17, 2009 9:55 a.m.

    I love the DMC series, except for DMC2. I have been very intersted in this title when I first heard of it a few months back. It looks and sounds really cool.

Showing 1-12 of 12 comments

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