Bayonetta

Taking geek fan service to all new ridiculous levels

In a world where videogames are quite often accused of exploitation, Bayonetta goes beyond titillation and into borderline pornography: featuring more crotch shots than a Larry Flint publication, often accompanied by a teasing wink from the lady in black, Sega%26rsquo;s latest heroine flaunts her oversized assets as she dances her way through her missions, favoring as many pelvic thrusts and split-legged moves as possible. All that%26rsquo;s saving Bayonetta%26rsquo;s modesty is a skin-tight catsuit made from her hair. Fortunately for pervs like us, it%26rsquo;s a costume that frequently falls right off.

There%26rsquo;s no doubting the market for this one. As appealing to the eyes as it is to organs lower down, this is Devil May Cry with a sultry porn starlet in place of the cheese-grater-stomach hunks. Hardly surprising given DMC%26rsquo;s creator is in charge. He%26rsquo;s designed a unique slant on a familiar world %26ndash; one which bears a striking resemblance to Dante%26rsquo;s universe but makes everything that%26rsquo;s gone before seem bland and sensible by comparison.

You can blame that daft hairdo for much of that. Impracticalities aside (it must take an age to straighten) it%26rsquo;s Bayonetta%26rsquo;s most useful feature.Battling angels atop a clock tower as it plummets from the heavens isn%26rsquo;t something best done in your birthday suit, believe us. A quick flick of the head however and that all changes. Those locks unfurl themselves and gain a life of their own.

At one point the hair morphs into a giant fist, scattering any angel unfortunate enough to stray in its path. Another example sees a Pythonesque foot crash down from the sky, crushing everything beneath with its man-sized stiletto heel. Then there%26rsquo;s the guillotine which Bayonetta kicks angels underneath for a spot of impromptu beheading, and the iron maiden which makes Mortal Kombat%26rsquo;s fatalities look like a civilized round of boxing.

Topics

We recommend