All the Golden Joystick Awards winners

The Golden Joystick Awards 2008 has just wrapped up. If you missed the live broadcast... where the hell where you? But no matter. If you were one of the 856,262 gamers that voted, you'll probably be interested to know who won what.

But before we get down to business, why not enjoy the rather eye-catching pair of ladies pictured below enjoying a little liquid refreshment at the rather jolly pre-awards drinky-poos. Lovely.


Nuts All Nighter Award (ie best multiplayer)
Winner: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
First runner-up: Grand Theft Auto IV
Second runner-up: Halo 3

We say: So potent is the power of CoD at keeping men from their marital beds that there's actually a Facebook group called 'I'm a Call of Duty 4 widow!'. It has 290 members. So, well deserved props to Activision and Infinity Ward for keeping the Men of Games up until the break of dawn. UAV is online!

The Sun Family Game of the Year
Winner: Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
First runner-up: Mario Kart Wii
Second runner-up: Super Mario Galaxy

We say: In happy homes all over the country, Guitar Hero has become the new Buckaroo. And rocking out with the olds is a helluva lot more fun than trying to place a sombrero on the back of a plastic spring-loaded donkey. A worthy winner.

Bliss Handheld Game of the Year
Winner: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
First runner-up: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Second runner-up: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core

We say: Good news. No one makes Nintendo games like Nintendo. Because they're Nintendo, obviously. And with the DS swamped with such tedious lifestyle tosh as My Middle Finger Trainer and Learn My Brain into a Super Computer, we need to make sure gems like Phantom Hourglass get the love they deserve.

Above: It's ceremony host and bespectacled maker of mirth, Frankie Boyle

4Talent Mobile Game of the Year
Winner: Bejewelled 2
First runner-up: Metal Gear Solid Mobile
Second runner-up: Guitar Hero III Mobile

We say: A simple - and classic - puzzle formula made sparkly is the absolute perfect fit for handsets. Play it on your iPhone for an experience in ring-and-bling gaming. Or, download the Flash version for free from PopCap. Nice.

Nintendo Game of the Year
Winner: Super Smash Bros Brawl
First runner-up: Super Mario Galaxy
Second runner-up: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

We say: If we possessed the power to rig the vote, Super Mario Galaxy would be the winner. No question. However, with pretty much every significant Nintendo character and a soundtrack that was the absolute epitome of fan service, Brawl is undeniably every Nintendorks wet dream.

PC Game of the Year
Winner: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
First runner-up: Portal
Second runner-up: Crysis

We say: Proof that gamers prefer shooting terrorists to bending their minds out of shape. In fairness, any of these games would be deserving of a finely moulded stick of gold. But screw fairness. COD 4 frickin' ROCKS!

Above: Ever wondered what a golden joystick looks like?

Retailer of the Year
First runner-up: Amazon
Second runner-up: Game

We say: Buying games from home is better than going to the shops. Official.

PlayStation Game of the Year
Winner: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
First runner-up: Grand Theft Auto IV
Second runner-up: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

We say: Sony boys love a bit of Solid, so it's no surprise that Kojima's last (is it his last? We lose track) Metal Gear sneaks in for this award. And, of course, it's a bloody good game. Which always helps. Otherwise Haze would've been in with a chance and that just wouldn't be right.

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  • georgeguy - November 11, 2008 12:59 a.m.

    COD 4 owned agreeing(sp?) with Timothy_Lemon
  • jimsondanet - November 3, 2008 7:55 a.m.

    introverts only occupy 25% of the population theres more in the gaming community(of course) but slowly being overrun by extroverts as games arent just for geeks anymore the votes reflect this trend ...think about it
  • Diamondis - November 2, 2008 1:51 a.m.

    I disagree with so many choices in that article <.< but what are ya gonna do, eh? Crisis Core a runner up? Heh. Heh. No.
  • MW3M - November 1, 2008 2:20 p.m.

    Lidsey Anne Strutt has wet patches under her armpit!
  • CAPST3R - October 31, 2008 10:51 p.m.

    i don't see what all the fuss is about cod4. i played it, completed it, did everything online in 2 months then got bored of it. gta4, mgs4 and mercs 2 are my favourites. cod4 in my opinion gets boring after a while. there are 3 factors in a good game for me. 1.large variety of guns/cars. 2.a large variety of customisable components for those cars/guns. 3.a good general gameplay and a wide way of completing large, detailed environments. MGS4 in my opinion is the best game created, followed by gta4, black, the 2 matrix games, the 2 mercenaries games and then cod4. the 2 reasons that i don't like COD4 are:1.the lack of strategic, fun gameplay. there are only 2 ways to traverse each map, and it is just all guns blazing, stopping any strategic play. 2.the weapon upgrades are useless. silencers reduce range and scopes reduce accuracy etc. skill is not a factor, as long as you play decently. it's down to perks, weapon attachments and rank. online on mgs4, for example, it's down to skill. you all start off with the same money, allowing you to buy all the same weapons. you then pick your route, and how you want to play it. you can check your path carefully, trap/check your back, or just run.your skill in playing gives you money, for which you can get better weapons. you get rewarded in multiple ways. you cannot go in all guns blazing while sprinting to dodge bullets, which is great. you have to be skilled. and please don't post back argueing with me, i don't check back on my comments
  • brothir - October 31, 2008 7:22 p.m.

    Yes, COD 4 is that good. I'm happy to see all my favorites here, which proves that I've mangaged to convert the whole world of gaming to my taste (I'm being self-ironic). Are these awards anually?
  • Nitemarish - October 31, 2008 7:05 p.m.

    Come on, COD4 isn't THAT good...
  • Bronzus - October 31, 2008 4 p.m.

    COD 4 3rd runner up in NINTENDO Game of the Year? It wasnt even that good on DS.
  • GodlikeApe - October 31, 2008 3:37 p.m.

    Why does everyone love COD 4 so much? Single player was too short and the multiplayer was just... average. So much so that I traded in my copy. But no surprises really, though Portal should've beaten COD 4!!!
  • mantokh - October 31, 2008 3:35 p.m.

    Call Of Duty Owned!!!
  • Timothy_Lemon - November 3, 2008 3:54 p.m.

    CAPST3R : you are daft, arrogant and you have bad grammar. i dont care if you are not going to check back i just think you are an idiot. cod4 is the best game of 2007 and easily deserves the credit its getting considering it was the biggest selling game of the year and it came out mid october. gta iv will be the biggest seller of '08. it'll win all the awards next year.
  • carsonnik - November 3, 2008 2:11 a.m.

    What the fuck, COD 4 as runner ups on best HANDHELD and best NINTENDO game??? Is that a typo or something?
  • jamboy199three - November 2, 2008 7:13 p.m.

    coz its crap like your face gta 4 is the best game
  • Defguru7777 - November 2, 2008 3:11 a.m.

    How did Halo 3 not win a single award? Bullshit.
  • Diamondis - November 2, 2008 1:53 a.m.

    Damn this lack of comment editing! The guy a few posts above need to slow down and breathe. Wall-o-text.
  • Samuel71 - November 1, 2008 9:18 p.m.

    Yech, Call of Duty 4. So many of the games in 2007 were better.
  • skyguy343 - October 31, 2008 7:32 p.m.

    though i like portal better than cod4, though i like Halo 3 better than cod4, Modern Warfare was THE shit and absolutely deserves the attention/awards
  • Juriasu - October 31, 2008 7:04 p.m.

    Did Activision hire people to vote for them and their games? It's insane how much the won.
  • Metallica - October 31, 2008 2:57 p.m.