5 reasons to hate Zelda

True, there are many reasons to love the Legend of Zelda franchise. Its first appearance on NES was a breakthrough that still influences game design to this day, and it’s timeless story of a young hero and a princess in need of rescue will softly whisper through the ages. For all its greatness, though, it is far from perfect. Strictly for the haters, here are five reasons to hate on Zelda games. 


1. It barely changes over the years

We can already tell you how the next Zelda game is going to be structured. Collect X items from X temples to save day, and possibly adopt annoying companion. Sure, there may be tweaks to the art style or the occasional novelty gameplay (HEEEAAAAVY BOOOOOTS! Motion Controls!!) but it feels like we’ve been playing the same game for ages.

2. Water Temples

Many consider Ocarina of Time to be not only the best Zelda game ever, but the best videogame ever. Well, they’re wrong. Ocarina established one of the most frustrating recurring levels in any game ever: the Water Temple. Hey, speaking of things that come back like a bad rash…

Above: Drowning for your thirst 

3. The supporting cast mostly sucks

Tingle is Zelda’s Jar Jar. If only there were a way to Phantom Edit him, the series would instantly get 20x better. And is there a living being alive who has functioning ears and actually enjoyed Navi’s constant stream of nagging? To be fair to the rest of the cast, Zelda and Gannon are great, but then, see reason #1.

Above: Kill it with fire!

4. Loads of recycled games

Having a popular franchise is like having a license to print money. And really, why would you spend a lot of time and money making costly new art and music and gameplay when the old stuff still moves units? Case in point: Oracle of Ages/Seasons look and play like Link's Awakening. Spirit Tracks looks and plays like Phantom Hourglass. Why innovate when you can reheat?

5. Link has no voice, but still doesn't shut up

You’d think a company like Nintendo would have plenty of money to plow into the development of its lead franchises. Yet for some reason, Link has shouted the same "Hyea! Hyea! Hyeaaaaa!" since 1998. What’s a matter, bigshots can’t afford a simple recording session? In that same period of time, Link has had numerous visual makeovers. Would it kill you to mix up the audio a little?

Mar 25, 2010


  • bobby2bend - April 3, 2014 5:16 p.m.

    If you don't know how to spell Ganon, then you don't deserve to hate on this game.
  • randezzel27 - July 26, 2012 9:34 p.m.

    The only reasons you guys would say that Zelda sucks is that you have your MW2 or your HALO or you guys are high or smocking crack or something. Zelda is the greatest Video Game series to have ever been made. Sure Zelda has its flaws and the Water Temple was the tiniest bit of Hell and Navi is a little bit annoying, but if you can look past that and appreciate the amazingness of Zelda such as the epic boss battles in the 3-D games and the best music you will find in any video game series. You also have your characters that follow you arround through the entire game. You got Fi, Tatl, Zelda, Navi and, my personal favorite, Midna. Ocarina of Time is not only the best Zelda game but the BEST Video Game EVER! You Zelda Haters can say whatever you want about the best video game series that ever existed, but I will come back with a comment that will knock you out.
  • cptnoremac - September 17, 2014 10:13 a.m.

    You're an idiot. They're obviously just taking the piss. They like Zelda as much as anyone. Stop taking everything so seriously. You're the reason people still think video games are only for kids.
  • KolbitosFruitJuice - May 10, 2011 12:59 a.m.

    Totally valid points and yet..............I play each one with a sense of fanaticism and worship. Also, am I the only one who LOVES Tingle? He's just should I put it...........pedo bear approved. Which is cool with me
  • humpiedumpie - April 28, 2011 7:49 p.m.

    Don't agree with the talking thing. Its fine as it is. Link always wears a green hat, they dont change that for a reason, it's the same thing with the voice. Totally agree with number 3: TINGLE KILL IT WITH FIRE!
  • MGStard - April 27, 2011 9:12 p.m.

    Link had a voice in the cartoon :D but no one watched that >>
  • slimjim441 - April 17, 2010 8:52 p.m.

    @SandroTheMaster I know he didn't mention Bowser battles, but I was comparing Ganon fights to Bowser fights, which ARE epic, not very challenging, but epic as hell (i.e. Super Mario 64, Super Mario Galaxy, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, and even the Mecha Bowser in Luigi's Mansion). And just because Dr. Light programmed me with maximum skills at Zelda games, doesn't mean the water temples are that repulsive. Ocarina of Time's is definitely the one I like the least, but come on, the fight with dark link is (yet again) epic. And morpha was so easy. It's not that bad. And if you truly disagree, then 0110011001110101011000110110101100100000011110010110111101110101. So there.
  • SandroTheMaster - March 30, 2010 1:31 p.m.

    @Slimjum441 What are you talking about to Embolado? He didn't even mention Bowser. And just because Ganon's battles are better than Bowser's, who's officially always the lamest boss battle ever, it's supposed to be good? And the Water Temples ARE that bad. So bad that you can't be anything remotely human to not think it is that bad. And, as you can see, you're a blue robot, so case closed.
  • SandroTheMaster - March 30, 2010 1:25 p.m.

    Well, 5 can be blamed on the same kind of people that asked for a Mega Man 9 and Street Fighter 4. If you make the game the slightest bit different to the classic, the "real" fans will eat you alive for actually trying to make a sequel an, you know, sequel.
  • slimjim441 - March 27, 2010 6:15 a.m.

    And the Water Temples aren't that bad.
  • slimjim441 - March 27, 2010 6:14 a.m.

    I don't favor this article very much. '5 Reasons to Hate Mario' was a little understandable, but I can tell you guys just tried too hard to think of reasons to hate Zelda. Tingle should fucking die and Navi is obnoxious, agreed. But 'it barely changes,' 'it's recycled?' I believe that's called a 'series.' And Wind Waker was so unbelievably different from the rest. @Embolado What are you talking about? The Ganon(dorf) fights are more epic than Bowser fights
  • Hydrohs - March 27, 2010 1:58 a.m.

    "Many consider Ocarina of Time to be not only the best Zelda game ever, but the best videogame ever. Well, they’re wrong." I lol'd I'm going to have to say that while Tingle is certainly a greedy bastard, he has an awesome spell/catchphrase/babbling/something or other. "Tingle! Tingle! Kulu! Limpa!" Okay no, that's fucking stupid.
  • pastycaucasian - March 27, 2010 12:50 a.m.

    I do agree about the water temple, there were sometimes that I just stop playing the game until I knew what I need to do.
  • Skykid - March 26, 2010 8:55 p.m.

    @xeacons: Amen on the voice acting. Zelda will still suck, though, for one reason: TOO. MANY. FANBOYS.
  • Skykid - March 26, 2010 8:51 p.m.

    YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Finally there is a truth speaker. Zelda just plain sucks!
  • Xeacons - March 26, 2010 7:59 p.m.

    Well, Link doesn't need to talk. Trust me, that's going to get annoying fast. But the rest of the cast should! I'm tired of reading text! For godsake it's 2010! We're past the 16-bit era!
  • philipshaw - March 26, 2010 2:21 p.m.

    Good point about the sound effects, only noticed that now you have pointed it out. Get Nolan North in to do the voice for Link
  • YuGiOhisbetterthanMagic - March 26, 2010 5:03 a.m.

    ohh and tingle was cool in majors mask cuz he sold super useful maps. and he was cool in wind waker if you had the gameboy attachment cord thing.
  • YuGiOhisbetterthanMagic - March 26, 2010 5:01 a.m.

    Am i the only one who actualy found Navi useful? i dont evan rember her going "hey, listen" all that often... and yes i have played ocarina recently. also, anyone who complains about the water temple fails at life. anyone with two shits worth of a brain can beat it easy.
  • zanthox - March 26, 2010 3:52 a.m.

    I love the water temples- they are the rare times that the recent Zelda games have actually been challenging... And the supporting class is the main reason I love the games, you have three pictures of the worst character ever though, Tingle. I guess I'm a fanboy...

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