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True, there are many reasons to love the Legend of Zelda franchise. Its first appearance on NES was a breakthrough that still influences game design to this day, and it’s timeless story of a young hero and a princess in need of rescue will softly whisper through the ages. For all its greatness, though, it is far from perfect. Strictly for the haters, here are five reasons to hate on Zelda games.
1. It barely changes over the years
We can already tell you how the next Zelda game is going to be structured. Collect X items from X temples to save day, and possibly adopt annoying companion. Sure, there may be tweaks to the art style or the occasional novelty gameplay (HEEEAAAAVY BOOOOOTS! Motion Controls!!) but it feels like we’ve been playing the same game for ages.
2. Water Temples
Many consider Ocarina of Time to be not only the best Zelda game ever, but the best videogame ever. Well, they’re wrong. Ocarina established one of the most frustrating recurring levels in any game ever: the Water Temple. Hey, speaking of things that come back like a bad rash…
Above: Drowning for your thirst
3. The supporting cast mostly sucks
Tingle is Zelda’s Jar Jar. If only there were a way to Phantom Edit him, the series would instantly get 20x better. And is there a living being alive who has functioning ears and actually enjoyed Navi’s constant stream of nagging? To be fair to the rest of the cast, Zelda and Gannon are great, but then, see reason #1.
Above: Kill it with fire!
4. Loads of recycled games
Having a popular franchise is like having a license to print money. And really, why would you spend a lot of time and money making costly new art and music and gameplay when the old stuff still moves units? Case in point: Oracle of Ages/Seasons look and play like Link's Awakening. Spirit Tracks looks and plays like Phantom Hourglass. Why innovate when you can reheat?
5. Link has no voice, but still doesn't shut up
You’d think a company like Nintendo would have plenty of money to plow into the development of its lead franchises. Yet for some reason, Link has shouted the same "Hyea! Hyea! Hyeaaaaa!" since 1998. What’s a matter, bigshots can’t afford a simple recording session? In that same period of time, Link has had numerous visual makeovers. Would it kill you to mix up the audio a little?
Mar 25, 2010
