5 'amazing' new settings for Modern Warfare 3... if the developers have totally run out of ideas

If recent moist and juicy interweb rumours are to be believed, the next Modern Warfare could well be a prequel, starring ‘cockerney’ badass and all-round unluckiest soldier on Earth, Ghost. While that does sound intriguing, we thought we’d suggest five ‘brilliant’, in no way urine-extracting ideas for Infinity Ward’s next COD. Well, if Infinity Ward makes another entry in the series, that is. Keep on reading for a glimpse at what Modern Warfare would be like if it was set in space, during the American Civil War or if you just want to see Captain Price in a mankini.

Callz of Dutyz Babyz

The idea of going back in time and telling the origin story of Ghost is fine and all. But what’s infinitely more amazing is going back even further and telling the story of all your favourite COD veterans when they were still in diapers. Join little John Price and Soap MacTavish as they dish out the most brutal justice war-torn sandboxes have ever seen.

Call of Duty: Civil Warfare

Set during 1860s America, you play as a Union soldier, fighting Confederate troops with old timey guns, old timey swords and historically suspect old timey smoke grenades. Relive some of the American Civil War’s bloodiest conflicts, including the Battle of Fort Sumter and the Second Battle of Sabine Pass. COD fans should also look out for a special John Wilkes Booth DLC pack, which will let players murder the presidential crap out of Abe Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre.

Modern Intergalactic Warfare

Are you tired of all those gritty pitch battles in the streets of fictional Middle Eastern countries? Does the idea of storming another Russian prison send you into cold sweats of fear? Do you long for your favourite realistic military shooter to spectacularly jump the shark? Well, you’ll no doubt approve of Modern Intergalactic Warfare. Set on such awesome planets as Mars, Jupiter and Uranus (no laughing in the back), you’ll team up with Captain Price to wipe out a sickening race of phone-obsessed extraterrestrials. Better call 911, ET. John Price is about to go homicidal on your adorable ass.

Night of the Living Warfare

Just in case Infinity Ward (or whoever ends up doing the next COD) is really running low on Eureka moments, may we humbly suggest going down the most half-assed route possible? Namely, just chuck Pricey in a shopping mall, fill the ruddy thing with hordes of zombies and replace automatic weaponry with surprisingly lethal cuddy toys and items of furniture. Man, this development malarkey is a piece of piss.

Call of Duty: Chernobyl Beach Volleyball

Because the world needs a title where Captain MacMillan and a young Leftenant Price don mankinis and spike the shit out of balls. Fact.

Jan 10, 2010