11 signs you're playing too much Skyrim

Skyrim's actually here! It's in our 360s and in our PS3s as we speak. The weekend flew by in a blur of dragon scales, fire spells and more than a little thievery. As our 10/10 review attests, it is everything we wanted it to be. But, as anyone who's played Tetris for more than a few hours in a couple of days knows, games can start seeping through into real life. So here are the tell-tale signs that you're possibly playing too much Skyrim and that you might be addicted to it. 

1) When a dog bounds towards you, your first thought is 'kill it with fire'.

2) If you don't have a lighter, you resort to shouting 'BOOSH' at it.

Above: Please don't pick a fight with a dog. Everyone knows they can give you rockjoint

3) You deliberately destroy your most valuable possessions in the hope you can learn something from the broken pieces.

4) You empty your vacuum cleaner onto your cornflakes and note down the effect on your health.

5) You walk away from people mid-sentence when you find out they haven't got anything to sell.

6) Once you've made friends with someone, you're positive you can sell their possessions on eBay without being accused of stealing.

Above: Needless to say, if you look like this, you need to switch off Skyrim and seek medical advice

7) When you go for a run and get knackered after just a few metres, you assume it's because you're wearing the wrong necklace.

8) When something's too heavy to carry, you start stripping off clothes to see if that helps somehow.

9) When no-one's around, you tread softly anyway, hoping someone is around and unaware that you're treading softly.

10) You only glance at the first page of every book you find, certain that any useful knowledge in the other pages will be automatically absorbed by your mind.

11) If you see a dead rat or badger, you check the carcass for money and cut off its tail. To put on your cornflakes later.

If any of the above apply to you, just remember, you can always go back to a previous save before you played too much Skyrim. And instead, you could always read 10 signs you're playing too much Pokemon.


  • Not Snake - November 15, 2011 12:13 a.m.

    I don't have many of those, thankfully. However, now when I see flowers I have to fight the urge to pick them. Because I need more health restoring potions.
  • Not Snake - November 15, 2011 12:12 a.m.

    I don't have many of those, thankfully. However, now when I see flowers I have to fight the urge to pick them. Because I need more health restoring potions.
  • fakesmilesofasadclown - November 14, 2011 10:15 p.m.

    I always forget my map when i head off for work, so i end up walking around in circles which always makes me late so i have to come up with excuses like i had a fight with a troll or i stumbled across a new cave and had to explore it.... they just look at me funny as i tell them that i am dragon born and that it is my destiny to slay dragons.... still i get a warning from my manager about my time keeping.. FML....
  • gmcb2011 - November 14, 2011 3:25 p.m.

    I'm dying for this game. It's 11 days to my birthday (more 11s!), so I don't have long now, but it's looking so good. I stayed up till 4 last night watching my roommate play.
  • DLow - November 14, 2011 2:10 p.m.

    Now when i hear lighting i look to the mountains and wonder if someones practicing their shouts.
  • nelly24 - November 14, 2011 12:09 p.m.

    Been trying to eat a steak with a spoon, in the hope that if I keep trying I will eventually get better at it! I think its working.
  • Y2Ken - November 14, 2011 10:51 a.m.

    Booosh! Also in the subtitles they spell Unrelenting Force "Fus Ro Dah". Loving the fire breath too atm. Great article Justin, particularly liked the note about the skill books.
  • mothbanquet - November 14, 2011 9:52 a.m.

    This was awesome, very nicely done, mate. The dog pic alone makes it Article of the Year contender.
  • awsomemaster - November 14, 2011 9:18 a.m.

    i love it when video games get mixed in with real life, like after playing a lot of BF3 when im out walking and i see a plane fly over head i start trying to spot it only to realize its real life and i can't XD
  • mothbanquet - November 14, 2011 9:51 a.m.

    I know right, every time I jump off something I hit A to deploy my parachute but it never works!!! :(
  • bigwill1221 - November 14, 2011 9 a.m.

    Diee shinobi dieee
  • RonnyLive19881 - November 14, 2011 8:50 a.m.

    Hmmm, the Shinobi ad really doesn't want me to read this. Can't block it with the Chrome blocker either... does Chrome have Ad Block Plus?
  • ncurry2 - November 14, 2011 9 a.m.

    Same thing happened to me but I'm on firefox. Hope they fix it. Good article otherwise.
  • RonnyLive19881 - November 14, 2011 9:06 a.m.

    ABP fixed it! I think it works better on Chrome than on Firefox Lol Quit using FF because it always crashed when I use Netflix
  • RonnyLive19881 - November 14, 2011 9:14 a.m.

    Rofl, I bet this is an undercover way to deliberately make us download ABP just so we can read their articles... bet they got paid off Lol jk... still you suck for giving Skyward Sword a 9 and Saints Row a 10... WTF GR Lol
  • findlay-yeates - November 14, 2011 8:49 a.m.

    I can't speak for anyone else: But when i left the house for work this morning i did think S**T... i left my pickaxe at home...
  • inkyspot - November 14, 2011 8:43 a.m.

    So your saying I can find more info by reading more than a books first page? Now they tell me.
  • chad-munn - November 14, 2011 8:42 a.m.

    Well I would LIKE to know reasons 1 and 2 but a STUPID $#*($#&% SHINOBI Ad is blocking the top of the list and it WON'T CLOSE!!!!! OMG I #$&#*&%$*%$ HATE POP UP ADS ON GAME SITES!!!!!!!!!!!
  • alphaman - November 14, 2011 8:38 a.m.

    TIL 'knackered' is brit-speak for tired!
  • farsided - November 14, 2011 8:34 a.m.

    33 hours played. I've seen dragons, cannibals, werewolves, goblins, golems, and even a ghostly headless horseman. And yet I know I'm not even a 10th of the way first character.

Showing 1-20 of 30 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000