• praysolace - June 29, 2014 8:49 a.m.

    Final Fantasy XIV. Titan is about to destroy Limsa Lominsa. We go to the heroes who felled Titan last time to ask how they did it so we can defeat him this time, and their response? "I know you already defeated Ifrit, but I don't trust that you can do it again. Never mind that you're the only one willing to try so we literally have nothing to lose should you fail and everything to gain should you win. No, go kill some oversized chickens, and fetch me a giant turtle egg, and deliver my wine, and defeat my old nemesis via underhanded and cruel methods, and fetch me some effing cheese." The much less time-consuming solution? "Heya, Merlvyb? Leader of Limsa Lominsa, who specifically tasked me to hunt down Titan? He's being uncooperative and interfering with an official mission meant to save every life under your authority. Shall I bring him in for detainment/torture?" We have connections to the big wigs. WHY CAN'T WE USE THEM
  • ObliqueZombie - March 28, 2014 8:37 a.m.

    Hahahaha oh wow, I'm NEVER disappointed by the Houghton/Towell articles. I still lub u GR USA <3
  • shawksta - March 27, 2014 8:43 p.m.

    Good ol David with his crazy ideas for articles that are crazy enough to work. You and Justin always have the more creative ideas and your editorials as well. STEP IT UP GR AMERICA
  • jackthemenace - March 27, 2014 4:28 p.m.

    Houghters, you are my idol. I don't think there's anyone on this site whos articles I enjoy reading more than yours. Except maybe Towell's. Anyway, it always confused me as to what was going on with Handsome Jack in his quest to destroy the Vault Hunters. He's got no qualms about killing innocents if it means he gets his way, and those guys are a legitimate threat to him. Just turn of your insta-revive system for a couple hours, moon-nuke them into oblivion, and then - if they were absolutely definitely going to revive the second you turned the system back on, and you couldn't set it to just not revive them- only turn one on at first. Inside a locked cage. Have a drink, question mark question mark, profit.
  • Jib-47 - March 27, 2014 12:09 p.m.

    How about in most RPG's. When looking for a key item an NPC usually claims to have it but will only part with it if you perform some convoluted task for them. Really, you usually have a group of at least two or more heavily armed and battle hardened friends with you and are on a quest to save the world from some unspeakable evil. Should they really mess with you? Should you really let them?
  • Trollkitten - March 28, 2014 1:25 p.m.

    If it's their item lawfully to begin with, then you'd better own up to your end of the bargain, or your "final boss" might be the local executioner. Then again, depending on your level, you might just win that.
  • Waldo - March 27, 2014 11:34 a.m.

    How about actually killing the enemy commanding officer in most the Advance Wars titles. Don't get me wrong, I love them all. It drives me a little crazy that time and time again, you mop up the enemy units, only to have the bad guy insult you before getting away. Oh no's! Seriously, I just wiped out hundreds of men and tanks, how come I can't take out one dude, Flak or Generic Bad Guy B, all of a sudden.
  • mothbanquet - March 27, 2014 11:14 a.m.

    Just finished Mass Effect 3 again yesterday so I'm going to weigh in with why the shit didn't Shepard just ask 'anybody know where the Cerberus base is?' at the START of the game rather than the end. Honestly, typical bloke, never asks for directions.
  • N7Spartan95 - March 28, 2014 5:04 a.m.

    I highly doubt an organization as secretive as Cerberus would let the location of their HQ leak out so easily. Keeping it secret is just common sense. Plus the novels state that the base is mobile, so even if someone like Miranda knew where the base was at one point in time, it's highly unlikely that it would have stayed there.

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