World Cup 2010: Beckham's movie reviews

Why so serious Becks? Arnie’s puns doing your head in? Or is it the result...gulp.

Will England be eye-wateringly good as Liz or as ear-bleedingly bad as Posh?

Next: Spidey 2 vs Spidey 3 [page-break]

Too many villains ruined it didn’t they Becks? You only need one baddie. Just ask Rob Green.

Next: Heat vs Righteous Kill [page-break]

A brilliant double-act on paper, Pacino and DeNiro come over all Gerrard and Lampard in Righteous Kill.

Next: The Droids vs Jar-Jar [page-break]

Next: David vs Edward [page-break]

This new breed of vampire is all style over substance eh Dave? Plenty of hype with nothing much backing it up…sounds familiar.

Next: 3D Past vs 3D Present [page-break]

Jaws 3D? Oh Becks, you’d have more fun giving the Algeria game a second watch!

Next: Craig vs Lazenby [page-break]

Capello seems to have gone from no-nonsense tough-guy to miscast no-mark in a matter of weeks.

Next: Vinnie vs Vinnie [page-break]

Duff footballer in entertaining caper= good. Duff footballer in awful car-crash=bad. Where will big Emile find himself this afternoon?

Next: Costner vs Crowe [page-break]

It was a lot more fun in the nineties eh Becks?

Next: Salma vs Showgirls [page-break]

The sexy football from qualification seems like a distant memory. Get it right this afternoon chaps, or global ridicule awaits.

Next: Indy 1,2 & 3 vs Indy 4 [page-break]

Or maybe it's just time to retire. Sometimes it's best to hang up your boots before things get a bit, well...shit.

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George was once GamesRadar's resident movie news person, based out of London. He understands that all men must die, but he'd rather not think about it. But now he's working at Stylist Magazine.