The Top 7... Climbers that make me wish I wasn't a horse

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They came. They saw. They climbed

Perhaps its Drake's imperfections that make him seem so perfect. Unlike the ancient assassins controlled by Desmond Miles, Nathan Drake always looks like he's about to fall to his doom. When climbing as this protagonist, it always feels like you're losing your grip, just hanging on to some ledge or foothold by the skin of your teeth, split seconds before you slip and fall to your death.

That's what I love about the way Nathan Drake climbs. No matter how many times he leaps to over that same gap or pulls himself up from hanging off a ledge, it always seems different, fresh, and terrifying. Every time Drake finds himself in, yet another, ridiculous situation that requires he scale something dangerous, it seems like he wants to scream from frustration or pee his pants out of fear. Horses don't like it when humans pee their pants. But we do like it when they scream and I personally find his honest sense of fear and disbelief somewhat disarming. Consider this horse smitten.


Above: Nathan Drake's attractiveness as a climber has to do with his body language (especially in Uncharted II). You get a real sense for how dangerous climbing is as you watch him waver

1. Wander, as seen in Shadow of the Colossus


We have to give it to Wander. The human boy has spunk. When I think of great feats of climbing in games, it usually involves a man and a large still structure. Maybe it's a wall, maybe it's the side of a building, maybe it's a giant Greco-Roman pillar. The point is, the thing being scaled is almost always stactic. And that's why when it comes to climbing, Wander reigns supreme.

Mountains and skyscrapers mean nothing when compared to the titanic task of scaling the hulking colossi that are trying to smash you to a pulp. Look at Wander go in the screenshot below. He's climbing the sword of a freaking giant for Christ's sake!

Of course, it would be an error if I did not mention Wander's loyal steed, Agro. But as much as it pains me to admit it, Agro's equine body just isn't properly built for climbing a mountain, let alone mounting a colossus. Wander may be a weak human, but I can't deny his determination and skill. His ability to scale such titans has earned him my respect.


Above: Like Captain Kirk in Star Trek V, Wander climbs because he is in love. I can%26rsquo;t climb. This makes me sad

Jul 26, 2010


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GamesRadarButtercup
GamesRadarButtercup
Who? B. Buttercup What? Senior Wildlife Editor How did I get here? After receiving an honorary degree from Brown University’s College of Science, I moseyed on to Pfizer, where I spent four years in the research and development department working on experimental treatments for Alzheimer’s disease. Life seemed pretty sweet. I had all the sugar cubes, Adderall, and cash that an equine could want. That’s when I met GamesRadar’s Associate Editor, Chris Antista, a young human, who convinced me to leave the highly lucrative pharmaceutical industry with a large bag of feed. Stuff I done: The Top 7… sexy horses every stud should ride Loves: Sugar cubes, prancing, getting published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, National Velvet, salt. Hates: Spurs, jockeys, Elmer’s Glue, The Godfather. Now playing: Plants vs Zombies, BlazBlue, World of Warcraft