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Although videogames are an unlimited playground of infinite imagination, an advert is a chance to show off the limits of your business vision. This is why Collins College's ad takes place in an featureless void. The absolute limit of the school’s abilities is My First 3D Program Reflective Texture in an empty room. You'd probably learning more about game design by eating your Halo disc.
Every ad’s imagery aims at the institution's target market. So, Collins is going for "people attracted by shiny objects."
Article continues belowThe Game You'd Make: No need to wonder! Collin's considerately provided an image of the game in their ad.
It looks like Gollum trying to steal a wristwatch from the Hulk's inbred cousin. That's some spectacular character design – an alien with a craggy, pointed face who apparently uses Baby's Bottom Smooth Skin Lotion on the rest of his lusciously textured skin. We’ll wait to comment on the lighting and environment when they actually exist. But be warned: If this is as appealing a game as you’ll learn to make, get into the habit of filling out unemployment paperwork.
This one would actually be better if it had been stolen from a student: at least then they'd have an excuse. We'd call this chubby red-head and her levitating goggles (apparently balanced on an impenetrable hairshell) cookie-cutter, except connecting this horror with food would turn us anorexic. Amazingly, she’s still the most polished, professional thing about this ad.
The Game You'd Make: We've seen more uniquely developed characters in "World's Greatest Mom" mugs. Add this to the spectacular sight of four fonts in less than a paragraph, and we’re thinking you could probably program the world's first "How to Make Your Graphic Designer Shoot Himself" text adventure.
All these ads are based on amateur wish fulfillment promises so transparent a Nigerian Prince would accidentally walk into them, but this one sets its sights so low it shoots itself in the foot.
The others expect people to be excited about a mythical dream world where game design isn't really hard work, or where game testing isn't a soul-crushing mill of grinding horror. But this one thinks that’s too selective. This one's aiming at people excited to see a picture of a girl. It doesn't even matter that she's pointing at them - as long as she’s not also jeering, this is way above par. And the insulting sentence you just read is still as close to sex action as any idiot clicking this banner will get.
A blank billboard would look at this ad and think it lacked content.
The game you will make: The Next Evony/Ceasary/Kingdomy/Dumbass Attracting Noun-ny - not that you'll have anything to do with writing, coding, or even testing the game, but your infected computer will help fund and promote it!
