Sexy adverts for unsexy games

If you've spent thirty seconds on the internet, you'll have seen certain ads for acertain online strategy game (opens in new tab). They're the most tenuous kind of shoe-horned smut, squeezing in gratuitous boobs next to agame that's completely boob-irrelevant. But they've got us thinking.

What if every game decided that the sex sell was the way to go, no matter how inappropriate? Can a sexy undercurrent be applied to anything if you try hard enough? So we thought we'd find out just how deeply we had to scrape the barrel's bottom in order toapplicate advertising sleaze where it wasn't wanted. And these are our results.

Picross 3D

Because when you get up close, all internet smut is just pixels, right?

International Cricket 2010

It's like they invented a sport so dull, they had to build all its terminology around grot just to get anyone to pay attention.


If you find yourself in any way turned on by the above, check in at a police station immediately. Prevention is better than cure.

Professor Layon and Pandora's Box

You know what she's saying. It's elementary.

Let's Walk

Yes. It's a Wii walking simulator. Desperate games call for desperate marketing.

David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.