Mind-blowing Final Fantasy stop-motion epic is like John Woo's Toy Story, may bring about the death of Hollywood

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With this film in existence there is no need for Len Wiseman to exist

Seriously. Seriously. Think about how long that took to make. Think about how badly the director's fingertips must be bleeding from all those hours of tweaking the poses of action figures. Think about the wretched, decaying state his poor mind mustnow be in. Think about the fact that he's managed to create better-choreographed action sequences with bloody toys than most mainstream films can manage with real actors, stunt-men, and a billion-dollars-a-minute CGI budget. Think about why the hell people even accept the bloated pap of Hollywood when this stuff exists on the internet for free. Think about how ludicrous that is. Think about how the tired, complacent old man of cinema's last days are upon him. Think about his death-rattle cough. Think about the look in his eyes as he sees his empire burn with the light of a million computer monitors.

Ahem. Anyway, that was rather good. I enjoyed it. I hope you did too. I'd wish you a good day, but as I said, I've just ruined it. So sorry about that.

*This is not guaranteed.

Jun 14, 2011

David Houghton
David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.