Life in FMV Hell

X-Files: The Interactive Adventure - 1998

How it starts:
It starts, as it always does in X-Files, with a warehouse. Mulder and Scully enter stage-left, find some mysterious black powder stage right and armed goons appear from the rear before being struck by some kind of blinding light. But then, both Mulder and Scully get kidnapped and you set off on their trail.

How it works:
You click through various static scenes of offices, motels and the like - waving a torch, tapping unknown phone numbers into your cell phone and getting hold of one of the conspiracy nerds Mulder hangs out with. Agent Skinner hangs around with you for the starting bits, looking grumpy and asking, "What the hell are you doing?" whenever you try to give him random pieces of paper you've obtained on your travels. When you're totally bored you can whip your gun out, take aim and shoot him in the head. This happens quite soon into the game.

Again, disappointingly not rude. This does not, however, stop ladies you come across from smilinga little bit too much - what with the director clearly having whispered, "They're nerds! Flash a little leg and they'll love it!" just before the camera rolled.

Actors have also appeared in:
Aside from the obvious stars, none of the B-list characters have had any success in anything at all. Even in the shit-addled realms of FMV gaming this is a poor, and telling, show.

Rating - Pretty damn horrible