The game – Prior to 2003’s Here Comes the Pain, the former WCW and WWE champion was as spry a seven footer as you’re ever likely to see. As quick across the mat as Rey Mysterio and as technical as Kurt Angle, there was nothing the big man couldn’t do. Hell, he could even perform gravity-defying top rope moves like the Hurricarana and the Shooting Star Press if you assigned them to him.
The Showster: A shining example of how to maximize your man boobs
The reality – If the Big Show actually performed a move from the top rope the resulting earthquake would reform the Earth’s tectonic plates. Thankfully, Yukes have seen sense in their more recent games, giving super heavyweights like the Showster their own unique move sets. Minus the top rope shenanigans, of course. The stamina system of the last few games has also seen the Big Show transform into the Big Slow, with the giant having to pause for breath after anything more taxing than toddling over the top rope.
Yep, this is how the continents were really formed. Who says we're not educational?
The games – The man known as Edmond to his friends, this sizeable sumo is one of Street Fighter’s deadliest combatants. Fast, agile and with a thong that could shelter your entire house when it rains, E. Honda’s signature Hundred Hand Slap has become one of the most feared and iconic moves in beat-‘em-ups.
He's fast, fearless and can dole out more slaps in a second than a bucket of wet fish: weight has never got in this supreme sumo's way
The reality – Too much sushi means the only thing a man of Honda’s size could hit is the speed dial for his local take away. And, against a lineup featuring fitness freaks like Ryu, Vega and Chun-Li’s thighs of granite, the big man would have a heart attack half way through the first round.
Edmond clearly wasn't pleased with the restaurant's 15% service charge
The games – The World Cup’s leading ever scorer, this samba striker has been running riot in PES and FIFA for over a decade. Suspiciously slim, quick like a greased Scotsman and injury free, the digital Ronnie can bang in belters like it was 2002 all over again.
Ronaldo: Striking a blow for every fat kid who was picked last for footie
The reality – Lard-assed, lumbering and crippled after a devastating knee knack, the real Milan marksman is more likely to dip into a bag of onion rings than burst the onion bag with a shot. Well, at least he has his looks to fall back on. Oh wait…
Ronnie doing an Elephant Man after 'literally' stuffing his face with onion rings
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