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Dying after finally beating an annoying boss
Getting team-switched seconds before a match ends
We dont mean to toot our own horns, but were godlike. Great K/D ratio, number one on our team; the undisputed MVP of a guaranteed victory. Nothing can stop our triumph this round, so we might as well play a little loose. As expected, our brash aggression has ended in death, and--wait a tic. Why is the game booing us? Oh--auto-balance decided that only we could turn the tides for the losing side, with five seconds left on the clock. Because that makes sense. Pause. Not.
Failing to react in time to the Continue screen
Shucks, you died--though we can hardly blame you, seeing as M. Bison is a complete and total jerk. Youve invested a fair share of time and money to get this far, and giving up now would be the cowards way out. You dig into your pocket andnothing. No worries--youve got nine long seconds to resume play from the same spot. Checking your other pocket, your fingers touch the cold metal of two grimy quarters. Thenthe horror. Your heart sinks as one of your quarters falls to the floor, rolling to an unreachable crevice in the space between arcade cabinets, as if pulled by a pranksters string. But the Continue screen does not care for your dire circumstances. Your game is over.
Realizing that full completion will take hundreds of hours
We dont know what completionists did to make developers so resentful, but they retaliated hard. Some games offer Platinum trophies or 100% completion as an albatross, forever out of reach unless you devote your mind and body to leaping through hellishly difficult hoops. Complete the game without dying. Complete the game without getting hit. Complete the game in 30 minutes while blindfolded during a solar eclipse on a Sunday. Theres always that one tiny achievement that looks you dead in the eye, and says, with a solemn, sullen bellow, Give up.
Dying in a perma-death mode
Short of dying and being resuscitated, losing your Hardcore character is the closest you can get to simulating your actual demise. As in real life, death can strike you at any time, with the kind of shocking suddenness that can bring grown adults to their knees. Many a gamer has been known to audibly gasp at their characters untimely expiration, stunned into a catatonic state of disbelief at their misfortune (lag) or hubris (biting off more monster than they could figuratively chew). Your personalized hero has now vanished into the ether; all you can do now is pray that they went to a better place.
Seeing your teammate immediately disconnect at the start of a game
10 seconds to turn on your computer. 30 seconds to boot up the game. 150 seconds in the queue. 300 seconds of picks and bans. 120 seconds to load the game. 1 second for some lousy a-hole to insta-leave, unbalancing the teams and making that entire process pointless. Theres only one acceptable excuse: the abandoner was a woman nine months into pregnancy, and she just went into labor. Actually, no--labor takes hours, its still a dick move. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and nine people had their time wasted because of that one stupid baby. The nerve.
Forgetting to charge your handheld device right before a long trip
At long last, this 10-hour flight will let us clear out our handheld backlog. No assignments to stress over, no parents to distract us--its just us and the triple-A game. With a flick of the power button, well lose ourselves to a palm-sized gameplay wonderland, andwhy. Why wont the power light turn on? Why wont it turn on? Thats not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was all the time we needed...! That's not fair!
Trying to salvage an unwinnable savepoint
Sisyphus was a chronic liar, who was punished by the gods to push a colossal boulder up a never-ending hill. But his ordeals were nothing compared to the pain of a poorly timed savepoint. Whether we dumped an item required to progress or bookmarked a battle before an inevitable loss, some arrogant inner pride stops us from throwing in the towel and starting the entire level over. Even if were fully aware that were already predestined to fail, maybe this valiant attempt will be different. Spoiler: It never is.
Getting into a game just as your friends are getting sick of it
After saving up your allowance, upgrading your video card, and enduring conversations that made no sense to you, the wait is over. Its finally time you joined your circle of friends in this game they just cant shut up about. You have some catching up to do--they are months ahead of you, after all--but once you get some gear, youll assuredly reunite with your pals in the end-game. In fact, you can see why they were so excited; this game is awesome! Unfortunately for you, theyve grown weary of it, and have moved on to another game. And thus, the lonesome cycle continues.
Being robbed of victory by someone whos not in the running
There may be four players, but there can be only one winner. Weve fought the good fight, and now its neck-and-neck with our most bitter rival. The other two chumps have no chance of winning--so why must they insist on messing with our fierce contest? Their machinations are spoiling our best-laid plots; we wish theyd just accept their failure and let the true champions duke it out. Oh, and look at that--because those bottom feeders deprived us of the last decisive Star, weve joined them in the losers circle. Its not that our rival won, its that we lost--and yes, were going to sulk about it for the next half-hour.
