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No Man's Sky just got a massive new update so big "the game has had to be reworked" to fit in its features, but that's not what I'm here to tell you about – I'm here to point you towards some suspiciously phallic aliens, because what could be more important?
What a day it's been – if you told me I'd be writing about penis-shaped creatures in No Man's Sky during work hours, I might not have believed you… but here I am. The unintentionally NSFW aliens were discovered by Reddit user "UnderstandingDull174," who showcases the monstrous beings in a new post. "I was going to show how beautiful this planet is," writes the player, "but then I saw these guys lolol." Lolol indeed.
Attached to their thread is a short clip of one of the aliens – a lifeform known as an "onumico" that can only be described as looking like, well, a penis. In the video, UnderstandingDull174 approaches the bouncy (I'm so sorry, but it literally is) creature and gently pats it before doing the unthinkable – mounting it and riding it. The way this thing moves around is unsettling at best, considering its shape. It jumps about, squelching noises and all.
nomansskythegame from r/NoMansSkyTheGame/comments/1n0gjbr/i_was_going_to_show_how_beautiful_this_planet_is
Unsurprisingly, fellow No Man's Sky fans are having an absolute field day with the entire situation in the comments. One person posts a screencap from UnderstandingDull174's clip of the onumico's underside, and, of course, it similarly resembles genitalia. In response, another player says the planet is an "Earth-like paradise with testiclepenisfleshlight locals." Amid the other replies, somebody jokes, "Oh boy, I was not prepared for when you started riding it."
My favorite comment of all, however, features a player exclaiming that the alien "looks like something you could buy off of Bad Dragon." For those of you lucky enough not to know what their words are referencing, I recommend not Googling them to find out. With all that said, it seems like just another good old day on the Internet – penis aliens and what have you. For anyone curious about where they can find the onumico, it's best not to search.
Not just because of its *ahem* appearance, but due to the fact that No Man's Sky potentially hosts over 18,446,744,073,709,551,616 procedurally generated planets. I'm sure, though, that with 18 quintillion to explore, something just as ridiculous can be found.
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