Fair warning: This feature explores the late endgame section of Alan Wake 2. Spoilers ahead.
I pin a photo on Saga's case board in Alan Wake 2. I've done this many times before, building up cases to progress through Remedy's creative survival horror, but this time it's very different. Instead of leading to more deductions, the evidence plants accusations that shine a light on Saga's innermost fears. I'm really not in the Mind Place anymore. I'm in the Dark Place, an amplified manifestation of every doubt and anxiety Saga has. When I hover over clues, capitalized words angrily radiate blame, with criticizing notes appearing on the board to link more evidence to. This room that used to be a refuge from the terrors of Bright Falls has transformed into the worst kind of nightmare, and I keep seeing reflections of myself within it.
Because, as I well know all too well, sometimes your own mind can be the scariest thing of all. "I'm my own worst enemy," Saga says as her doubts drown out her deductions. "The fears in my head are stopping me from trying". I sit on that line for some time, thinking about how often I've let my own fears hold me back. There have been many times I've listened to that ugly voice inside my head that keeps me from opening myself up to new opportunities. Over the last few years especially, I've shut myself away from a lot of things, and I'm still trying to find my own way out. When you fall into the darkness, it can be hard to find your way back into the light, but every time Saga retaliates and pushes away the words that feed into her trepidation, I feel a second-hand sense of reassurance.
As I dispel pockets of the encroaching darkness with my torch in her Mind Place to piece more clues together, the cathartic release hits me like a wave. If Saga can get out of the Dark Place, maybe I can start fighting to make it out of my own.
"I'm in the Dark Place, I'm lost"
Generally speaking, I don't play horror games. I have an odd relationship with the genre, preferring to, on rare occasions, watch someone else play out the terrors than experience them directly myself. Alan Wake 2 is something of an exception, and even then, it's taken me a year to pluck up the courage to see it through to the end. After braving my way through the frightful Coffee World theme park and the overwhelming unease of the Valhalla care home in Saga's shoes, I needed a break. I never in my wildest dreams expected that when I did eventually return and finally complete the game, that I'd actually find some comfort in it. Don't get me wrong, I was still afraid and on edge a lot of the time, but there's so much about the experience of Alan Wake 2 that I could relate to in unexpected ways.
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I love the way, for example, the sequel shifts from the thriller action of 2010's Alan Wake to a survival horror because it's a part of the narrative. As Saga, you're pulled into a horror story written by Alan Wake against your will, and forced to take on the role of a hero to try to change the outcome to save your daughter. On the flip side, Alan is trying to get out of the Dark Place and put a stop to the Dark presence by rewriting the story he penned. Of course, there are a lot of revelations along the way about the true nature of the story and the Dark Place, but buried beneath the horror and the darkness, a hopeful, encouraging message kept on shining through for me.
This is just my interpretation, but the very fact that Saga and Wake - albeit in their own ways - fight to rewrite the story constantly instilled in me the idea that we can always try to change the course we're on. It's not easy, of course, and my fears, doubts, and anxieties may sometimes pull me down into the darkness and hold me there, but I can't let them rule the story of my life. Every time I use the light to cut through the darkness, fighting against terrifying shadows, I'm not only conquering my fears by taking on a horror game, but I'm also thinking about how to overcome my own in reality. I am my worst enemy a lot of the time, and just as Saga does, I too want to push back against that angry, mean voice inside, and find my way back to the light.
"I'm my own worst enemy"
"It's a horror story of the mind"
Wake is also arguably his own worst enemy in the Dark Place, as he constantly battles with himself through an evil doppelganger known as Scratch. I think the very name Scratch plays on Wake's own doubts as a writer, which I also connected to as someone who writes for a living. With lines scratched off the pages of Wake's manuscript, and the physical character constantly trying to stop him, the onomatopoeic name perfectly captures that sense of frustration you can feel when you just can't quite get the right words down on the page to finish a draft. Even then, Wake keeps trying, and I'm actively pushing him as well as myself through the scares of the horror story as the player, which again brings a feeling of catharsis.
While there's a lot more to it, at the heart of Alan Wake 2 are two people who both have to fight against their own separate fears and doubts. It's a horror story of the mind, and it's one I never thought I would resonate with on such a deep level. Trying to piece together Saga's final case board is one of those moments in games that will always stay with me. Her own mind turns against her, transforming her Mind Place - which before then always reflected her detective skills and cunning deductions - into a Dark Place, where her deepest fears take root and manifest. But she doesn't let it overcome her, and helping her escape that room and see her exit through the door felt so meaningful. I hope someday I can open that door myself, and push my own fears aside.
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