There’s nothing Teenage, Mutant or Ninja about the turtles in this ’toon, a kids’ yarn so insipid it makes The Little Polar Bear look like Grindhouse. Dedicated ‘to all grandmothers’, it’s full of kind matriarchs like young Franklin’s nan, who yearns on her sickbed for a buried box of childhood trinkets. The least perilous treasure hunt in history follows, the excitement peaking when a pipsqueak crow flies off with Franklin’s snail mate. Even by pre-school standards it’s flimsy whimsy. While a lack of in-jokes and slumming A-listers is refreshing, there’s no excuse for a script and visuals that are this sketchy to be on a cinema screen. With static backgrounds and reptile characters you can’t tell apart, the 2D animation fails to advance on the original Franklin telly series. And the anti-materialist morality will likely whoosh over the pre-pubes’ heads.