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Completely unironic Cooking Mama spinoff ideas

Today, Majesco announced yet another giant leap forward for women: Crafting Mama. Okay, okay, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with crafting... or cooking, or gardening, but we think there's so much more that mamas can do. Like, for example, be mamas:

Above: Our idea is better

The press release is long and boring, as they generally are, so we've pulled out the most easy-to-make-fun-of bits:

"The extent of Mama's talents are limitless! She can hold her own in the kitchen and garden next to the world's best, but now Mama is poised to dominate arts & crafts too..."

Wow, holy crap, she can cook, garden, and"dominate" arts &crafts?! Limitless indeed. Majesco Chief Executive Officer, Jesse Sutton, drops the knowledge:

"Much like last spring's Gardening Mama, Crafting Mama combines the award-winning Mama formula of addictive stylus-based activities with a popular pastime that has been underserved in videogames."

Underserved in videogames?Crafts are non-existent in videogames, because, well, they're crafts...things you do when you have nothing else to do, like, I don't know, playvideogames?

Oh well, the game will do great, and little girls everywhere will get their SUITABLE GIRL ACTIVITY fixes without actually doing anything, the same way we get our murdering fixes by playing first-person-shooters. Ow! Bastard! Jack Thompson just crawled under my desk and bit my ankle!

Here are a few more concepts for new "Mama" games which we think will definitely appeal to the female audience:

Mar 11, 2010

Associate Editor, Digital at PC Gamer