Be the best - Day one

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PC gaming's not just about taking part; it's about winning

Game:Any MMORPG
Play as a girl

There’s a long and proud history of transvestism-for-treasure in Massively Multiplayer gaming. Why try to pass yourself off as a real-life lady in an MMO? Well, if you can ignore some low-browed idiot hitting on you, would-be suitors are generous with gifts and help; lonely men are clearly hoping that a few gold coins and hawt items might turn your eye. Exploit their desires. Mercilessly.

1) You are not easy, you are not a slut and you are not going out in those clothes. Pick an outfit and a character style you’d be happy to see your sister in. Dainty robes, tiaras and kitten heels are in. Bikini armor and cheese-wire thongs are most definitely out. Consider City of Heroes: see that six-foot Amazonian with the bust slider pushed to the extreme, wearing enough material to make up the average sock? Probably not a real girl.

3) The most important question to deal with is the perennial: “Are you really a girl?” The correct answer should be not too demonstrative, yet not too coy. “Uh... yeah,” perhaps followed by a “Why?” works best if you’re playing a low-level character. If you’re a higher level, the surprise you’re being asked about this will ring untrue. If from a teammate, an answer of “Can we get on with this mission and talk later, yeah?” should convey the aura of mild testiness of someone who’s been asked this a million times before. “Yes, do you want to cyber?” is generally a bad idea, unless you genuinely are willing to swap sex talk with a teenage boy for a +4 sword.

4) Don’t go on voice-chat. Doh.