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50 Worst Movie Sex Scenes

Damage (1992)

The Scene: Juliette Binoche and Jeremy Irons contort themselves into some sort of mockery of an art installation on the floor.

Look Away When: The pair start convulsing in time. Ick. Ick. Ick.

Novocaine (2001)

The Scene: Helena Bonham-Carter seduces Steve Martin’s dentist so that she can get her mitts on some painkillers.

Look Away When: Martin’s trousers hit the floor. This is funny in an entirely wrong kind of way.

Poison Ivy (1992)

The Scene: Sylvie (Sara Gilbert) makes her way home from hospital, only to discover dad (Tom Skerritt) diddling her best bud Ivy (Drew Barrymore). Jiggle, jiggle.

Look Away When: The thunder starts up. Mother nature ain’t happy at this union.

Savage Grace (2007)

The Scene: Barbara Daly Baekeland (Julianne Moore) straddles son Antony (Eddie Redmayne) in a truly shocking case of incest-in-motion.

Look Away When: Barbara starts fondling Antony’s crotch before complimenting him on his choice of underwear and unzipping his trousers. Nooooo!

Munich (2005)

The Scene: Avner (Eric Bana) takes his stress out on his poor wife during a sex sesh that’s unintentionally funny.

Look Away When: Bana’s eyes look ready to pop out of his skull.

The Man Who Fell To Earth (1976)

The Scene: Even weirder than the bit where a teenager uses Rip Torn’s penis as a microphone is this clinch between David Bowie and Mary-Lou, who both get loaded, then naked and start playing with a gun.

Look Away When: Mary-Lou gasps “It's cold!” We don’t care if the screen’s black, just look away!

Sliver (1993)

The Scene: William Baldwin and Sharon Stone gyrate against a pillar as really bad pseudo-porn music pulses in the background.

Look Away When: The pair’s humping makes it look like Stone might knock herself out on the pillar.

BloodRayne (2006)

The Scene: Matthew Davis and Kristanna Loken go 10 rounds in an over-aggressive encounter that looks more like a wrestling match.

Look Away When: Loken throws Davis against the metal bars in a fit of passion.

Life Is Sweet (1991)

The Scene: David Thewlis covers Jane Horrocks’ breasts with chocolate sauce and licks it all off while she snarls at him. Okaaaay.

Look Away When: Thewlis starts tying Horrocks up.

Before The Devil Knows Youre Dead (2007)

The Scene: Philip Seymour Hoffman grunts over a crushed-looking Marisa Tomei. This is something we really didn’t need to see.

Look Away When: Any time Hoffman’s on screen. Talk about an eyeful.