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Refuse to play as part of a team regardless of the situation
You and your friends have settled in for a night of gaming, and youre all very excited to play. Unfortunately, your one friend--lets call him Scott--is miserable at playing as part of a team. Scott loves to run around getting kills to fluff his personal stats rather than objectives that are needed to actually win the game. In a similar fashion, Scotts the guy that picks up on the loot in Diablo 3 while everyone else is fighting. Scott needs to learn theres no I in team.
Ask what games you like before telling you how terrible they really are
It doesnt matter what kind of games you like, one particular friend constantly dogs on you for it. In fact, theres a good chance theyd give you crap even if you said you enjoyed the same game they did, because clearly they liked it first, and youre just trying to copy them. This cycle is never-ending, and even if your friend admits they like something you do, its begrudgingly at best.
Claim a winner in the console war in a completely serious manner
It doesnt even matter which console theyve backed; your friend is totally invested in the so-called console war. Whether theyre adamantly defending the Wii Us branding strategy, the Xbox Ones launch cost, or the PlayStation Stores constant redesigns, they somehow manage to take the whole thing a bit too seriously. If you arent with them, youre against them, and theyll tell you this each and every time.
Refuse to back down about minor points of video game lore
Youre having a grand time playing through some co-op with your friend, but one little trifling story tidbit contradicted the established lore a couple hours ago. Rather than shrugging and chalking this up to poor editing or the like, your friend cant stop talking about how this changes everything and other equally eye-roll-worthy statements. Then when they do find out it was a mistake, they spend a similar amount of time talking about that.
Can't stop themselves from pointing out flaws of any shape or size
If theres even a slight graphical hiccup on the loading screen, your friend wont let it go for however many hours youre together. Even once youve stopped playing, its all theyll talk about. If you move to a different game to appease them, theyll just compare the two. Youve lost the moment you started.
Doesn't bother with any kind of strategy, regardless of game
Your friend doesnt care about paltry things like objectives or goals. Its a game! You play it! Whats so hard about that? Hit some buttons, pick up everything you can, and get completely and totally lost. Sounds like a terrific night of fun to your one friend that never actually wants to get anywhere in games. They are so easily distracted that hey, ice cream sounds pretty good right now, doesn't it?
Take game reviews way too seriously
Are we throwing stones in a glass house? Absolutely. It doesn't matter if your friend constantly checks this website or another--it doesn't make sense to take critical response as fact 100% of the time. Unfortunately, your friend refuses to play anything that receives under an 80 Metacritic rating, even if its something traditionally up their alley or a franchise theyve traditionally loved. Metacritic is never wrong when it comes to their leisure time.
Go on breaks constantly, regardless of what situation the game is in
You friend always has to get a cigarette in every 20 minutes. Are you in the middle of a complicated boss fight? Too bad. Cigarettes. If its not cigarettes, its something else. Good luck if youre trying to play an MMO together and are involved in something that requires teamwork, or anything involving competition with other humans. This friend is constantly away from keyboard, and never seems bothered by what that absence causes.
Assume the mantle of party leader whether everyone else wanted them to or not
You know the type. They mean well, and just want the entire group to succeed. If theres three or more people playing, thats fine and dandy. When its just you and your friend, though? Their constant harping on why you should be using one skill over another gets old quick. They often dont get the hint the first time theyre glared at either and instead merely repeat their position.
Defend a game's worth to you despite your complete lack of interest
See if this sounds familiar: No, you just dont understand! Its actually a really good game if you give it a chance. Sometimes this is a fair assertion to make, but your friend also says this after youve made yourself clear that you have absolutely no interest in whatever game theyre talking about. Its like they just dont understand.
