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6 announcements that would make E3 EXPLODE

Half the fun of E3 is having your expectations engorged to impossibly gargantuan proportions only for them to be nuked by the disappointing reality. With this in mind, the list we have compiled is of announcements that would make E3 actually EXPLODE if they actually happened.

Half-Life 2: Episode Three

There are gamers waiting to play this that weren't even born when Half-Life 2 was released. Valve don't do coincidences and it's no coincidence that Episode Three is an anagram of E3. It's also an anagram of 'Deep Theories' and our theory is that when Valve reveals that Episode Three really does exist, the LA Convention Centre can kiss its sweet ass goodbye.

NEW New Super Mario Bros. 3DS

Nintendo has confirmed that it'll be showing the new 3DS at E3. And that means there will be GAMES that show off the new dimensionally improved technology. One of those games will almost certainly have Mario in it and will almost certainly give players the exciting opportunity to 'experience the Mushroom Kingdom like never before'. A NEW New Super Mario Bros. probably won't be that game. But just imagine if it was. EXPLOSIONS.

Bungie reveals its secret game. And it's PS3 exclusive

What are those Halo boys working on now that they are no longer the Halo boys? Whatever the hell it is, coming from the makers of one of the most successful and most obsessively adored franchises of ever, it'll create much friction through sheer turbulence alone. That friction will ignite into an all-consuming fireball of fanboy malfunction when Sony roll it out as a PS3 exclusive.

Anything that is remotely interesting about Natal or Move

There will be much awkward man shuffling as Microsoft and Sony show off Natal and Move respectively. We remain unconvinced about these new technologies. If anything emerges from E3 that changes our minds, then *WE* will explode. And - no - Natal-enabled cap-doffing in Fable III will not change our minds.

Duke Nukem revealed as a playable character in Shenmue III

Just think of the collective mind bedlam if two of gaming's most destined never-to-see-the-light-of-day relics were not only announced, but announced in the same game. It would be the announcement equivalent of two enormous magnetically opposed atom bombs being dropped simultaneously from the same point.

Nintendo defibrillates a franchise it has neglected to defibrillate yet

F-Zero? Star Fox? Kid Icarus? Any such resuscitation of old wares would surely be one of the only things that could generate explosive volumes of whooping at the Nintendo conference - an event that has been muted in recent years thanks to a shift in focus to mainstream Wii silliness. Combined with an unveiling of a new Zelda, the summoning of a dead fan favourite could rock the foundations harder than a Springsteen concert.

Other occurrences that would cause a bit of a commotion

A new 'interactive drama' from Quantic Dream
Because some of us at GamesRadar really liked Heavy Rain. Honestly. We did.

Call of Duty 7
Zombies in Vietnam confirmed. We hope.

Gears of War 3
A Microsoft conference with no Bungie-made Halo and no Gears of War would be wrong. There will be no Bungie-made Halo, so we're counting on Marcus and the boys to put in an appearance.

Grand Theft Auto V
Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London. Set it in London.

Killzone 3
Sony has already promised that it will 'bring the heat' at this year's E3. A Killzone 3 reveal would certainly help create some warmth.

LittleBigPlanet 2
We were shocked at how rapidly we lost complete interest in the first one. But we're sure the unusual effects of 'show fever' would make us excited about a Sackboy sequel.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising
Any more info on this would be buzz-causing. Maybe we can still learn to love Raiden.

Uncharted 3
Nathan Drake's adventures have been pretty good so far. The revealing of an inevitable third one would create a positive disturbance in the force.

Xbox 360 Slim
Like a regular Xbox 360. Only not as fat. Could elevate to an E3 explosion if it red rings on stage.

So, like, what are you guys expecting and/or hoping to see at the E3?

I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.