Over the Top (1987)
The Poster: We know this one is supposed to be drenched in testosterone, but it all seems a little camp to us. Even with that heavy-metal font…
Worst Detail: It’s a toss-up between Sly’s weirdly smooth bicep in the foreground, and the fact he’s got his cap on backwards in the main image. Grow up…
I Was a Teenage Zombie (1987)
The Poster: A cheap and cheerful picture of a remarkably healthy-looking zombie and his swooning beau. They really broke the bank with this one, eh?
Worst Detail: Most of the artist’s efforts appear to have gone into lovingly rendering the damsel’s breasts. The moustachioed fellow on the other hand…
A Night in Heaven (1983)
The Poster: How do you make sure your female lead feels appreciated? Have her face away from the camera for the poster, that’s how! Nice legwarmers, mind.
Worst Detail: The exposition-heavy tagline is narrowly edged out by the fact Christopher Atkins seems to be dancing in space.
Girls Nite Out (1984)
The Poster: We’re assuming these three are supposed to be looking scared, but the lady on the left looks like she’s having a blinder and the one on the right is laughing. Poor show girls…
Worst Detail: Despite the naff image, the worst part of this is the wholly unnecessary misspelling of the word “nite”. Pointless.
April Fool's Day (1986)
The Poster: A teenage girl raises a glass to her pals, concealing a knife behind her back. And the fact that she’s plaited her hair in the shape of a noose. It’s a difficult age…
Worst Detail: The noose effect must have sounded cool in theory, but in practice, it just looks ridiculous!
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
The Poster: Surfboard? Check. Bodacious babes? Check. Sean Penn looking gormless? Check. Looks like we’re all set for one kerazy movie!
Worst Detail: The self-conscious wackiness of the whole thing just reeks of desperation. Trying that hard to be cool is never going to work…
Deadly Games (1982)
The Poster: A disembodied, gloved hand rolls a pair of spiked dice into a pool of blood containing a woman’s face. What else do you need to know about the film? Nothing, that’s what.
Worst Detail: The whole thing is cheap, nasty and nonsensical, but the glove is the worst bit. Who has a hand shaped like that?
Hard Rock Zombies (1985)
The Poster: Confusingly, despite the title, most of the undead nasties on display here seem to be skeletons. And why are some of those grasping hands green, when the main one is white? So many questions…
Worst Detail: The cringey tagline, “they came from the grave to rock ‘n rave and misbehave.” Ouch.
Soul Man (1986)
The Poster: C Thomas Howell gives his best ’80s pose in this bizarrely obtuse poster that gives away next to nothing about the film it’s supposed to be advertising!
Worst Detail: That tagline is neither witty or informative. Guess who’s coming to college? That guy, presumably. But who is he? Aaaargh!
Though, to be fair, if you know the high-concept of Soul Man , you'll understand why the poster-scrawlers decided to keep any plot information as vague as possible.
Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)
The Poster: Arguably the most hideously titled film of all time, it’s only fitting that Breakin’ 2 should have an equally chronic poster to match!
Worst Detail: That trainer looks as if it was drawn by a small child. A small child who has never seen a trainer before…
The Blue Lagoon (1980)
The Poster: A controversy-baiting image of teen lovers Brooke Shields and Christopher Adkins, accompanied by the sort of overwrought blurb more commonly found on the back of a Mills and Boon novel.
Worst Detail: This line is the nadir: “When their love happens, it is as natural as the sea, and as powerful.” Utterly meaningless.
