She's All That (1999)
The Movie: Jock-on-the-rebound Freddie Prinze, Jr attempts to transform ugly duckling geek Rachael Leigh Cook into the prom queen – in only six weeks.
The Tech: Laser eye surgery / Hipsterism.
In the late ‘90s, glasses apparently had the power to bewitch us all into believing that incredibly attractive women were anything but.
Corrective surgery could have sorted that one out, as could the birth of the hipster – these days, Laney Boggs would be the very essence of cool.
Good Morning Vietnam (1987)
The Movie: Robin Wiliams plays an exuberant, anti-authoritarian armed forces DJ during the Vietnam war.
The Tech: Internet radio.
Given the choice of all the radio stations in the entire world, who would realistically choose to listen to Robin Williams being perpetually shut down by The Man?
Not us, that’s for sure. We’d listen to BBC6 Music and slowly accumulate those all important indie points.
The Social Network (2010)
The Movie: Genius student Mark Zuckerberg revolutionises social networking from his university dorm.
The Tech: Facebook.
Of all the movies plots that would be ruined by the retro-fitting of Facebook, The Social Network is inarguably the one that would be the most directly affected.
Because it wouldn’t exist.
There Will Be Blood (2007)
The Movie: Oil man and family man Daniel Plainview establishes an empire, but must endure a lengthy and fractious relationship with a local preacher.
The Tech: Ninetendo Wii.
By the end of There Will Be Blood , Daniel Plainview has money to burn, which can only mean that if he made his fortune today he’d be surrounded by gadgets like the Nintendo Wii.
Virtual bowling would have made it difficult to stove in Eli’s head with a pin, although he could have had a bloody good go with a Wii remote.
Braveheart (1995)
The Movie: A Scottish commoner rises up against English oppressors and attempts to gain independence for his nation.
The Tech: Wikipedia.
It's fitting that even a website renowned for its sometimes loose approach to facts could show up Braveheart for the lump of historical horseshit it really is.
If Mel Gibson's William Wallace had looked himself up, he'd have realised what a ridiculous fiction he was and imploded in a puff of woad.
Bonnie And Clyde (1967)
The Movie: A pair of lovers embark on a doomed crime spree.
The Tech: Viagra.
Oh Clyde. Sometimes it's hard to be a man. These days, you can fix those sort of problems with a little blue pill.
Maybe if you'd had them, you wouldn't have felt the need to rob everyone and end up riddled with bullets. Oh well…
300 (2006)
The Movie: A force of 300 Spartans attempt to stave off the invasion of Greece by a tyrannical Persian king and his huge army.
The Tech: Google Earth.
The only reason Xerxes didn’t simply swerve round Leonidas and his crack troops was because he couldn’t find a route without local help – a problem quickly solved by spending two minutes on Google Earth.
Those Spartans would have been flanked in minutes, their heroic final stand looking left looking a little bit silly.
Zulu (1964)
The Movie: A small detachment of British Army riflemen must defend their remote post from thousands of Zulus intent on destroying them.
The Tech: Helicopter.
You can be sure that anyone today faced with odds like those encountered by the pith-helmeted Brits in Zulu wouldn’t hang around.
They’d get the hell out of dodge on a helicopter, and they’d be right to do so.
Notting Hill (1999)
The Movie: Hugh Grant is a terribly affable bookstore owner who crosses paths with a Hollywood megastar when she visits his shop.
The Tech: Kindle.
Let’s be honest here: independent book shops, especially ones specialising in travel books, are rarer than a philosophical debate on TOWIE.
They’re largely extinct thanks to the rise of devices like the Kindle, which allow both normal people and movie stars alike to buy any book their heart desires without being hassled by pesky shop staff.
ET (1982)
The Movie: An alien is stranded on Earth and befriends with a local boy and builds a communications device to tell his people collect him.
The Tech: Texting.
Ok, so the principles are essentially the same, but “ET text home” doesn’t have the same ring does it? Plus, he wouldn’t have been interested in speaking to Elliott, as he’d have been too busy texting his pals like an ignorant, thumb-happy space-ponce.
