Tuesday Knight
Why We Love It: It’s both ridiculously dull and equally perplexing.Why would any parent name their child after a time of day? It’s preposterous.
But Tuesday and Rebecca Black should really team up for a musical tour. It would sell itself.
Sounds Like: A thoroughly relaxing evening.
Red Buttons
Why We Love It: Because Aaron Chwatt had the cojones to turn a fashion accessory into a name. There was no precedent for his decision. He's an inspiration!
You can only hope that when he was asked by his manager for possible new names, Aaron looked down at his feet and slowly worked his up through his attire: "What about black shoes? Brown pants? Red Cardigan? Erm… Red Buttons!?”
Sounds Like: A Cold-War era B Movie.
Herb Rice
Why We Love It: It’s the only name on this list that you can legitimately order in a restaurant. You wouldn’t want it on its own, just as a side with some grilled fish or something, but that’s still a pretty impressive feat.
Also, it sounds like he should have been a bandleader in the 1950s: “And tonight at Carnegie Hall, it's the Herb Rice Five.”
Sounds Like: A tasty side dish.
Titus Welliver
Why We Love It: It's innately heroic and should be emblazoned on a coin.
You can imagine an elderly statesman telling a group of children an old story about his former war buddy who rode victoriously back into town after single-handedly defeating an entire army, and finishing the tale with the immortal words, “And that man’s name was Titus Welliver!” Cue screams and yelps of joy.
Sounds Like: A founding father.
Qorianka Kilcher
Why We Love It: We’re not even sure if this is actually a name. But our ignorance aside, it really does give off a rather sexy and villainous vibe. It would suit a henchwoman from a 1970s Bond movie.
In all fairness, Q’orianka does mean “Golden Eagle” in Quechua, which is pretty sweet and infinitely better than any British names’ meaning.
Sounds Like: Um... literally nothing.
Rip Torn
Why We Love It: You can’t help but smile when you hear the Men In Black star mentioned. If Rip had been placed in charge of peace talks in war-torn areas across the globe we'd be living in a tranquil society with no problems whatsoever. Guaranteed.
If only his name was just the little bit longer though, imagine the possibilities? All in all he could be called something like Rip Slash Tear Split Torn. Too far?
Sounds Like: A broken jacket.
Michael J Fox
Why We Love It: It's the J that really elevates Fox's name. There's just so much mystery and sophistication wrapped in that one letter!
If it was just plain old Michael Fox he would never have reached the higher echelons of the acting fraternity.
Sounds Like: A sophisticated animal.
Ethan Hawke
Why We Love It: Jeremy Renner might have excelled as Hawkeye in The Avengers , but surely Ethan Hawke was slightly bitter that he wasn’t even considered for the role.
You can imagine that Hawke sees all, like a handsome deity or svelte Santa Clause.
Sounds Like: A bird of prey.
Clint Eastwood
Why We Love It: Regarded as probably the coolest actor to ever grace the screen, even his name is ruggedly handsome.
When the apocalypse strikes it’ll just be Clint and the cockroaches left fighting for supremacy. Our money’s on Eastwood.
Sounds Like: The last man standing.
Tom Cruise
Why We Love It: It exudes a casual confidence that makes you think he simply glides effortlessly across the globe doing exactly whatever he damn pleases. Which isn't too away far from the truth.
Cruise was only ever going to be an actor with such a belting name and it’s probably the reason why he’s been a mainstay of American cinema for close to three decades.
Sounds Like: A hit man.
