Misfits
Veronica Mars
The Show: A startlingly gritty teen detective series, in which rape and violence are dealt with head-on, amongst the more typical teen humour and relationship angst. Kevin Smith once described it as “hands-down the best show on television” which is good enough for us!
The Movie Version: The movie would pare down the various plot strands to focus on the Veronica’s efforts to discover who raped her some years earlier. Done right this could be an excellent teen noir along similar lines to Brick .
Cast: Emma Stone would make a perfect replacement for Kristen Bell. She ballsy, tough and beautiful, which pretty much ticks all the boxes!
Original Cast Cameo: Bell could play an older sister of one of Veronica’s friends, or even a teacher. In either case, she should probably deserve some sort of acknowledgement for the show she made famous.
How Likely Is It? Well Bell for one is very keen to see it happen, with the star offering to finance the movie itself if needs be! As yet though, her offer remains on the table…
Cracker
The Show: Robbie Coltrane stars as hard-drinking, heavy-gambling criminal psychologist Fitz in this hard-boiled detective series from the mid-nineties. Created by acclaimed writer Jimmy McGovern it’s a rare example of a British crime procedural that more than measures up to its trans-Atlantic counterparts.
The Movie Version: Edward “Fitz” Fitzgerald is a brilliant creation, and deserves a film noir all of his own. We’d like to see him faced with a string of grisly murders, pitting his wits against the serial killer responsible whilst trying to keep a handle on his ever-growing drink problem. David Fincher to direct, perhaps?
Cast: We’d like Sam Rockwell at his scuzziest to play Fitz, with Ed Harris co-starring as his criminal nemesis.
Original Cast Cameo: Robbie Coltrane could appear as an older member of the police force, a washed-up has-been who might just have the odd nugget of advice to help Rockwell on his way.
How Likely Is It? Given how poor the US remake was, we would suggest that any hopes of a movie would be fairly optimistic.
Alias
The Show: Jennifer Garner’s star-making TV show cast her as Sydney Bristow, a double-agent working for a shadowy organisation, who punched, kicked and somersaulted her way through all manner of espionage-based antics week in week out. It was also the show on which a young J.J. Abrams cut his teeth, before hitting megastardom with Lost .
The Movie Version: Alias ’s set up could be the jumping-off point for a new action-heroine franchise, with Bristow becoming a kind of female equivalent to James Bond, facing off against various super-baddies from one film to the next. There’s money to be made here.
Cast: Angelina Jolie would be the obvious choice to play the big-screen Sydney, being that she is the premier female action star currently working in Hollywood. This could be the successful franchise she thought she was signing on for with Tomb Raider !
Original Cast Cameo: Bradley Cooper steps out of the shadows of his small-screen bit-part to play Jolie’s love interest in the movie adaptation.
How Likely Is It? After the show initially went off the air, Jennifer Garner initially went on record to express her enthusiasm over a potential movie. However, that was a while ago now, and with little word on the project since, we’d assume that the time for this one has probably passed.
The Shield
The Show: Never as widely feted as fellow police drama The Wire , The Shield was a different animal entirely, focussing on crunching action and moral decay as Michael Chiklis’ ruthless cop descends further and further into the darkness with every passing series.
The Movie Version: A down and dirty police thriller, in which increasingly corrupt cop Vic Mackay bends the law to breaking point in order to lock up a child murderer. It wouldn’t be the most novel premise in the world, but there’s always room for a classy crime drama in our book.
Cast: Ray Liotta plays violent lawman Mackay, with a virtually unrecognisable Jim Carrey turning in a horrifying performance as the heinous criminal in his crosshairs.
Original Cast Cameo: Chiklis appears as Mackay’s drug dealer, who also deals in information on his fellow crims…
How Likely Is It? The cast have discussed it, and everyone seems open to the idea, although at present, it’s purely speculative. That’s not to say we can’t see it happening, mind…
Doctor Who
The Show: One of the BBC’s crown jewels, the good Doctor has gone from children’s entertainer to steely space-warrior to affable oddball across his many incarnations, but his popularity remains undimmed. The frequently naff visuals and occasionally naff sidekicks are all part of the fun, but on its day, Who can be both profoundly moving and utterly terrifying.
The Movie Version: The undoubted highlights of recent series have revolved around the shit-your-pants scary figures of the weeping angels, so we’d like any prospective feature film to involve a plot based around them.
Cast: Johnny Depp has the requisite blend of madness and heroism to make a good big-screen Doctor, provided he can find a way to distinguish it from his many other mad but heroic parts.
Original Cast Cameo: What about Tom Baker in a walk-on role? Or better still, at the narrator…
How Likely Is It? The Beeb scotched rumours of a Depp-starring movie just last year, but we reckon it’s only a matter of time before the Doctor crosses over to the big screen. When Matt Smith winds down his tenure, watch this space…
Sons Of Anarchy
The Show: The action-packed chronicles of the Teller-Morrow family, and their outlaw biker gang known as the Sons Of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. A sun-bleached saga of gang violence and domestic strife, it’s just about the most adrenaline-soaked TV show around.
The Movie Version: This biker drama could make a cracking modern-day western, with the mounts and six-shooters of old replaced by gas-guzzling mopeds and semi-automatics.
Cast: Michael Madsen, Skeet Ulrich and Danny Trejo all bag themselves leading roles as the titular badasses.
Original Cast Cameo: We just have to make room for Ron Perlman. The man-mountain is a truly magnetic presence whenever he steps on screen.
How Likely Is It? It hasn’t been mentioned as yet, but with the show bringing in consistently healthy ratings, we certainly wouldn’t rule it out.
Quantum Leap
The Show: Scott Bakula stars in this high-concept sci-fi drama, in which physicist Sam Beckett spends his days time-travelling into the bodies of various different characters, and attempting to “put right what once went wrong”. Okay, so the format was kind of repetitive, but at least you knew what you were getting!
The Movie Version: Dr. Beckett must go back in time to change several events that conspire to prevent the experiment in which he gets “stuck in time” from ever happening in the first place. We admit, it sounds a little confusing on paper…
Cast: Matt Damon stars as Sam Beckett, with Jeff Bridges appearing as the holographic image of his old mucker Alo Calavicci.
Original Cast Cameo: Scott Bakula has to be in there of course, perhaps as one of the characters Beckett encounters during one of his leaps. So long as the writers can resist any “I know how you feel”-style in-jokes…
How Likely Is It? This one is actually happening, with original series creator Donald Bellisario writing the script, and stars Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell lined up to cameo. Brilliant!
Knight Rider
The Show: David Hasselhoff fights crime with the assistance of a talking car. To all intents and purposes, that’s all you need to know about this one. Apart from the fact that it had a bloody catchy theme tune.
The Movie Version: Michael Knight has long retired, but when Las Vegas falls into the stranglehold of a gang of mobsters, he decides the time is right to pass on the baton to his son, Chip. With KITT given a lick of paint and some new alloys, the crime-fighting car is back on the road again.
Cast: Hasselhoff returns as Michael Knight, with Shia Labeouf playing Chip Knight. Meanwhile, Kitt is voiced as ever, by the inimitable William Daniels.
Original Cast Cameo: With Hasselhoff and Daniels fully involved, and Edward Mulhare long dead, we’re kind of at a loss as to who else they could bring back. Maybe Patricia McPherson could drop by as Kitt’s old mechanic?
How Likely Is It? Hasselhoff has been trying to get this one off the ground for some time now, with limited success. However, the recently re-booted TV show might count in his favour, with Knight Rider back in the public consciousness once more.
Superted
The Show: Right, well it went something like this…this is a story about an ordinary teddybear. When he was made, they found something wrong with him and threw him away like a piece of rubbish, into an old dark storeroom. Then, from outer space, a spotty man brought him to life with his cosmic dust. He took him to a magic cloud where Mother Nature gave him special powers. That bear became…SUPERTED! Got it? Good.
The Movie Version: This should be Pixar’s next project, documenting the struggles of our ursine hero with a villainous trio of space-villains, led by the fiendish Texas Pete. Maybe the storyline could revolve around a dastardly plot to wipe out all teddybears from the face of the earth. That would definitely be a job for Superted!
Cast: Michael J Fox provides the voice of Superted, with Stephen Fry taking the role of Spotty Man. Josh Brolin plays Texas Pete, with Alan Cumming as Skeleton and Timothy Spall as Bulk.
Original Cast Cameo: Melvyn Hayes, voice of the original Skeleton, returns to crank the camp-factor up a notch.
How Likely Is It? What do you think? Still a good idea though…
