Jacob Fuller
The Movie: From Dusk ‘Til Dawn (1996)
Man Of The Cloth: Jacob is a pastor suffering a crisis of faith after the loss of his wife. However, there’s nothing like a combination of psychotic criminals and blood-sucking vampires to shake a man out of his stupor…
Most Righteous Moment: Fuller slips a baseball bat through the handle of his pump- action shotgun and begins to dispatch the undead with the most badass crucifix you’ll ever see.
Priest Sang-Hyeon
The Movie: Thirst (2010)
Man Of The Cloth: A Catholic priest who nobly puts himself forward for an experiment to test a new vaccine for the deadly Emmanuel Virus. Sadly, said vaccine has the undesired effect of turning him into a vampire. D’oh.
Most Righteous Moment: Distressed by the actions of he and his vampire girlfriend, Sang-Hyeon drives the pair into an exposed field, just as day is about to break…
Father Laurence
The Movie: Romeo + Juliet (1996)
Man Of The Cloth: Pete Postlethwaite’s kind-hearted priest, who agrees to marry the star-crossed pair when everyone else is doing their level best to tear them apart.
Most Righteous Moment: Realising that Juliet is to be forced into marrying a man she does not love (Paul Rudd’s Dave Paris), the Father proposes an ingenious plan by which she can fake her own death and extricate herself from the whole mess. Granted, it doesn’t turn out so well, but his heart was in the right place.
Reverend Peter Shayne
The Movie: Crimes Of Passion (1984)
Man Of The Cloth: Anthony Perkins turns it up to eleven as the “Reverend” who busies himself conducting soapbox sermons in the street. That is of course when he’s not indulging his other hobbies of visiting prostitutes and bunging copious amounts of amyl nitrate up his nose.
Most Righteous Moment: The point at which Shayne empties his ever present bag, explaining his various tools of redemption as he does so. Spiked vibrator anyone?
Father Merrin & Father Karras
The Movie: The Exorcist (1973)
Men Of The Cloth: The two Jesuits charged with driving out the Devil from young Regan MacNeil are in very different places faith-wise, but are united in a common cause. Merrin is the battle-hardened old pro, well-versed in dealings with Satan, whilst Karras is the greenhorn in the grips of a loss of belief.
Most Righteous Moment: The double-team that eventually drives the Devil out of house and home. Not that it doesn’t come at a price…
Reverend Graham Hess
The Movie: Signs (2002)
Man Of The Cloth: Former preacher Hess lost his faith some time ago after his wife was killed in a car accident. However, when the aliens come calling, he’s forced to make some radical changes to his belief system.
Most Righteous Moment: The moment where he uses a kitchen knife to repel a marauding alien is pretty cool, but the final scene in which he re-dons his clerical garb is the one that truly warms the heart.
Father Tim Farley
The Movie: Mass Appeal (1984)
Man Of The Cloth: Jack Lemmon plays Farley, a charming raconteur who presides over his parish with a twinkling smile whilst conscientiously avoiding any thorny issues that might rock the boat.
Most Righteous Moment: His final revelation that speaking out for what is right might just be more important than maintaining the support of his flock.
John Preston
The Movie: Equilibrium (2002)
Man Of The Cloth: Preston is a Grammaton Cleric in the city-state of Libria, charged with maintaining the establishment’s overriding ideology that human emotion leads to conflict, and must not be tolerated. He does so via the use of heavy weaponry, naturally.
Most Righteous Moment: Determined to renounce the sham-religion he has had drilled into him, Preston turns on the establishment and its reclusive “Father”. The moment at which he cuts his partner’s face off with a samurai sword is a particularly pro-active piece of do-goodery!
Father Gerald
The Movie: Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994)
Man Of The Cloth: Trainee Priest Gerald is thrown in at the deep end when he is asked to preside over the marriage of Bernard and Lydia. Needless to say, he makes a right old hash of it. “The Holy Goat”? What a card!
Most Righteous Moment: Okay so he cocks up the words a bit, but he manages to marry them doesn’t he? What do you expect if you hire Mr. Bean to do your wedding vows…?
Cardinal Glick
The Movie: Dogma (1999)
Man Of The Cloth: Glick is the charismatic figurehead of “Catholicism Wow!”, the Catholic Church’s new campaign to alter its public perception. Understandably, it’s something of a tricky sell.
Most Righteous Moment: His unveiling of the new “Buddy Christ” icon, specially designed to replace the more “depressing” symbol of the crucifix. After all, “Christ didn’t come to Earth to give us the willies,” explains Glick. Amen, brother.
Father Barry
The Movie: Raining Stones (1993)
Man Of The Cloth: Barry is the local Priest, to whom struggling Patriarch Bob reveals his various misdeeds. Bob is a devout Catholic whose only wish is to buy his daughter a lovely new Communion dress. He can’t really afford it though, and it isn’t long before a violent loan shark starts making threats against his family. So does he turn the other cheek? Does he f**k…
Most Righteous Moment: Reasoning that protecting his family takes precedence over observing the commandments, Bob kills the loan shark in question. So does Barry cast him out? Of course not. What a guy!
Rabbi Jake Schram & Father Brian Finn
The Movie: Keeping The Faith (2000)
Men Of The Cloth: Longstanding buddies Jake and Brian soon find themselves clashing over more than just faith when beautiful childhood friend Anna waltzes back into their lives.
Most Righteous Moment: Despite punching Jake in the face during Rabbi duties at his temple, Brian manages to get himself back on the straight and narrow, performing a successful karaoke number at his new inter-faith service. Meanwhile, Jake gets the girl without compromising his religion, and everyone live happily ever after. Woo-hoo!
Reverend Philip Shooter
The Movie: Hot Fuzz (2007)
Man Of The Cloth: The local cleric to the sleepy village of Sandford, and a key member of its somewhat overzealous Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.
Most Righteous Moment: Having beseeched Sergeant Angel to call of his violent assault on the village, Shooter decides to step things up a notch, suddenly producing a pair of miniature revolvers and proceeding to open fire on the interfering copper.
Euliss "Sonny" Dewey
The Movie: The Apostle (1997)
Man Of The Cloth: Robert Duvall plays Sonny, a disgraced but charismatic Pentecostal preacher who leaves his Texan home town and sets up a new church amid the racially conflicted bayous of Louisiana. Possessed of a roving eye he might be, but there’s no questioning the man’s religious zeal…
Most Righteous Moment: Tracked down by the police, Sonny makes a final impassioned sermon to his new flock, encouraging them to maintain the faith they have forged together.
Padre Cortez
The Movie: Machete (2010)
Man Of The Cloth: Machete’s brother is by his own admission, “a priest who’s good with blessings but better with guns.” So what do you think he says when his bro shows up, looking for some extra firepower?
Most Righteous Moment: When a gang of hired killers show up at his church, the Padre soon escorts them into the afterlife, courtesy of his trusty shotgun.
Reverend Harry Powell
The Movie: The Night Of The Hunter (1955)
Man Of The Cloth: Yes, yes, we know Robert Mitchum’s psychopath is only impersonating a preacher, but we just couldn’t leave him out, so convincing a job does he make of it. Although you might ask questions if your local Vicar pitched up with Love and Hate tattooed on his knuckles…
Most Righteous Moment: Having heard Ben Harper’s muttered bible verse “and a child shall lead them”, Powell elects to dedicate his life to the cloth. At least until he can get his hands on Harper’s hidden loot that is…
Father McGruder
The Movie: Braindead (1992)
Man Of The Cloth: Father Jon McGruder is known as the Kung-Fu Priest…when the shambling zombies of the undead come a-calling, his is the Church you want to head to!
Most Righteous Moment: “Stay back boy,” commands McGruder, “this calls for divine intervention!” He then pronounces, “I kick arse for the Lord,” before proceeding to knock seven shades of shit out of the zombie marauders. Truly awesome stuff.
Father Gabriel
The Movie: The Mission (1986)
Man Of The Cloth: Jeremy Irons’ perennially selfless Jesuit travels to South America to convert a Guarani community to Christianity. When colonialist forces come knocking, Gabriel disagrees with Mendoza’s policy of violent defence, but stands firm by his flock nonetheless.
Most Righteous Moment: His dogged belief that the violent Mendoza can be redeemed is inspiring, as is the refusal to compromise his principles which leads to his eventual demise.
The Preacher
The Movie: Pale Rider (1985)
Man Of The Cloth: A mysterious figure known only as The Preacher, who arrives in a small mining town in order to assist a community being terrorised by the henchmen of slippery crook Coy Lahood. Whilst good intentioned, his methods are a little violent for your run-of-the-mill man of God…
Most Righteous Moment: Having offered Lahood the chance to buy out the community’s resident miners, The Preacher turns instead to his pistols, gunning down every one of Lahood’s men, including the crooked marshall hired to get rid of him. Pow!
Father Barry
The Movie: On The Waterfront (1954)
Man Of The Cloth: The “Waterfront Priest” attempting to make a stand against the Mob forces choking the life out of the area’s docks. Nevertheless, his ruthlessly principled nature means he wants things resolved the right way, rather than the easy way…
Most Righteous Moment: Convincing a grief-stricken Terry to testify against union crook Terry Friendly, instead of just shooting him. Another soul saved…all in a day’s work, eh Barry?
Reverend Oliver
The Movie: The Patriot (2000)
Man Of The Cloth: Ordinarily an exponent of peace, Reverend Oliver decides to put his beliefs on hold when the Redcoats start threatening all he holds dear. During times of war, all bets are off.
Most Righteous Moment: “A shepherd must tend his flock,” says the Reverend, as he tools-up for battle, “and at times, fight off the wolves.”
Father John Flaherty
The Movie: Monsignor (1982)
Man Of The Cloth: Dragging the Vatican into league with the Mob, starting an affair with a nun, firing a gun at another man…it’s safe to say that Father John is more than a little flawed. Still, you can’t fault his ambition!
Most Righteous Moment: The point at which he realises his rise through the ranks of the Catholic Church was somewhat immoral. But what a laugh he had along the way, right?
Pope Albinizi
The Movie: The Pope Must Die (1991)
Man Of The Cloth: Mistakenly appointed Pope in place of the stooge the Mafia wanted (oh yeah, the Mob run the Vatican in this one as well), Albinizi accidentally uncovers the gun-smuggling operation running out of the Church, and soon finds himself in the crooks’ crosshairs.
Most Righteous Moment: When discovering the Mafia forces at work, Albinizi tries to sort it out rather than discreetly looking the other way. Admirable, if a little foolhardy.
Father Jerry Connolly
The Movie: Angels With Dirty Faces (1938)
Man Of The Cloth: The childhood friend of crooked Rocky Sullivan, who runs a home for disaffected youths in an attempt to keep them away from a life of crime.
Most Righteous Moment: His heartfelt plea to Rocky to present himself a coward on the way to the electric chair, so as not to martyr himself in the eyes of the impressionable young lads.
Friar Tuck
The Movie: Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves (1991)
Man Of The Cloth: A key member of Robin’s Merry Men, and probably the most kick-ass incarnation of the character across any of the story’s many adaptations. Beginning the movie a softly-spoken Friar, he ends it a bellowing force of nature!
Most Righteous Moment: The Friar loads up the Sherrif’s crooked priest with his ill-gotten riches and tosses him out of the window to a crunching landing below. Ouch.
The Impressive Clergyman
The Movie: The Princess Bride (1987)
Man Of The Cloth: The clergyman on duty at Humperdinck and Buttercup’s wedding, who struggles to pronounce either “L”s or “R”s. Problematic when you have to say “love” a lot…
Most Righteous Moment: As anyone who sat through the Royal Wedding can testify, marriage ceremonies can be a right old snooze. Kudos then to The Impressive Clergyman for livening things up with the old, “Wuv, twue wuv…” routine!
The Trappist Monks Of Tibhirine
The Movie: Of Gods And Men (2010)
Men Of The Cloth: Nine Trappist monks from the monastery of Tibhirine, who lived in peaceful harmony with the surrounding Muslim population. Seven were kidnapped and assassinated during the Algerian Civil War.
Most Righteous Moment: The refusal of the monks to flee abroad (thus abandoning the local population to whom they served), despite their knowledge of the increasing peril of their situation.
Mola Ram
The Movie: Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom (1984)
Man Of The Cloth: The demonic high priest of the subterranean Thuggee cult with a penchant for ripping out the still-beating hearts from the chests of his sacrificial victims.
Most Righteous Moment: His villainous plot is geared towards ushering in the return of the Goddess Kali, therefore pretty much all of his actions can be regarded as righteous to a certain extent. Even the enslavement of children…
John Constantine
The Movie: Constantine (2005)
Man Of The Cloth: An unwilling sceptic, dragged into a lifetime of celestial servitude on account of his attempted suicide, Constantine fills his days by exorcising demons who’ve made their way into our world from the fiery depths of hell. Sounds like hard work.
Most Righteous Moment: The self-sacrifice that allows Rachel Weisz into heaven and redeems his soul in the process. Nice work John!
Jesus
The Movie: The Passion Of The Christ (2004)
Man Of The Cloth: Well, we couldn’t really leave the main man out, could we? Subject to the most blood-spattered beatdown in movie history, Mel Gibson’s crimson-clad Christ is one of the most memorable holy men ever committed to celluloid.
Most Righteous Moment: That bit where he hilariously invents the table! No, alright, it’s the Crucifixion.
