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23 Awesome '80s Action Figures That Should Be Movies

Features
By Simon Kinnear published 16 March 2010

From Action Force to Zoids... All figures sold separately

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Masters Of The Universe

The Toy: Instantly recognisable by dint of their outrageous musculature and lack of articulation.

The basic shape was endlessly versatile – c'mon, face facts, arch baddie Skeletor was He-Man painted blue with a skull face.

Possible Plot: Anything but the 1987 Dolph Lundgren version.

Maybe it’s time to resurrect the cartoon version, which had He-Man as the magic alter-ego of diffident Prince Adam. But please: drop the moral at the end of each episode.

And cast Jessica Biel as She-Ra. Please.

C.O.P.S.

The Toy: Law enforcement role-play with added zap.

Each figure came with a firing cap gun, for as authentic a game experience as you could get from an action figure.

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Possible Plot: As ever, the toymakers provided a durable premise via the accompanying TV cartoon.

The C.O.P.S. (Central Organization of Police Specialists), led by hero policier ‘Bulletproof’ – literally so, thanks to a cybernetic torso – take on Big Boss and his CROOKS in an unspecified lawless future.

Imagine Robocop directed by Michael Mann, and you’ve got a hell of a sci-fi actioner.

Sylvanian Families

The Toy: Oh, you know, those furry animal things your sister had.

Now, let nobody say that Total Film is obsessed with boys' toys.

Possible Plot: Jane Austen with CGI creatures, as social envy amongst the Babblebrooks and Thistlethorns leads to all kinds of scandal.

Or, if that sounds like snoozeville, how about having Sylvanian under siege from a sadistic poacher? In other words, a slasher movie for kids.

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Simon Kinnear
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