Independence Day (1996)
The Leader: President Thomas Whitmore, faced with invading aliens who are systematically destroying every country’s capital in a worldwide take-over.
Why So Bad? Because his cheesy leadership speeches are so horrendous that he’ll make you want to side with the enemy if it’s a chance to get away from him.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: He’d either find a miracle cure for insomnia (long, looooong speeches), or he’d be the only person left in the party - for obvious reasons.
Hoosiers (1986)
The Leader: Coach Norman Dale, whose inspirational leadership boosts a basketball team all the way to state championships.
Why So Bad? Two words: filthy, temper. When Dale doesn’t get things his way, he throws a hissy fit that even Family Guy ’s Stewey would be proud of. Then he hires an alcoholic as his co-coach and, we have it on good authority, employs basketball strategies that are about as likely to succeed as Tinkerbell is to become the next heavyweight boxing champion.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: Every time he doesn’t get his way, expect an eruption in scale and might to challenge a volcano.
Oliver! (1968)
The Leader: Fagin, an old Jewish gent who leads a group of street urchins in London town.
Why So Bad? Stealing, and absolving young children of their innocence through a life of crime, Fagin is an opportunist who pickpockets and dabbles in further murkier crimes in order to get a roof over his head every night.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: We'd all be very, very poor.
Labyrinth (1986)
The Leader: Sarah, on the verge of teendom and convinced that everybody is against her – especially her stepmother.
Why So Bad? Aside from being a whiny little brat, she suffers classic teen symptoms – namely moodiness, arrogance, petulance and a belief that it’s her against the world. Also, she basically uses everybody.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: “It’s not fair!” would follow every crushed proposal, paired with the threat of a sulk.
Last King Of Scotland (2006)
The Leader: Dictator Idi Amin, the Ugandan leader who kept his followers in fear during his ‘70s reign.
Why So Bad? Aside from being an unpredictable element with a heck of a temper, Amin’s punishment for those who betray him is way and above the severity of their offence. Just take the grisly demise of Kay, Amin’s youngest wife.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: We’d all be afraid to leave our houses every day. Really, let’s not go there.
Police Academy Series (1984-94)
The Leader: Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris, employee at the police academy.
Why So Bad? He’s not known as ‘Mr Nasty’ for nothing. Finding himself surrounded by buffoons, Harris rightly sets out to show up just how idiotic the trainees at the academy are. Sadly, his grand evil schemes generally always come back to bite him in the behind.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: Harris’ attempts to discredit members of parliament would result in some seriously sticky situations.
Dick (1999)
The Leader: Another US President, this time a real one – President Nixon. You’ve probably heard of him.
Why So Bad? Where to begin… He kicks the dog, he is adamant that Watergate never happened, and, most shockingly of all, breaks poor Michelle Williams’ teen crush heart. Also, he eats hash cookies. Naughty president, very naughty.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: Haven’t we already been there?
King Kong (2005)
The Leader: Filmmaker Carl Denham leads a band of filmmakers to a remote island in order to make a movie.
Why So Bad? Aside from leading his band into certain peril, Denham learns absolutely nothing from his awful jungle experience. Capitalising on his discovery, he drags Kong back to New York as a spectacle that people pay to see. He should’ve been crushed in the ensuing chaos. Sadly, he wasn’t.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: He’d install a glass wall in the side of the House of Commons and charge people to watch the government worker bees go about their business.
Aliens (1986)
The Leader: Tough to pick just one, with Ripley the only clear-headed one in a scrum of military idiots. But we’ll go with Carter J. Burke, who takes Ripley and some marines to planet LV-426 to look for life.
Why So Bad? Godammit he’s a smug, manipulative, dishonest SOB! Having lured everybody to LV-426 under false pretences, Burke’s real agenda surfaces – he wants the xenomorph for a pet. He’ll even kill a woman and a child to get it.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: He’d be importing xenomorphs by the spaceship load as Britain’s newest weapon against the enemy.
The Naked Gun (1988)
The Leader: Detective Frank Drebin. In short, he's a walking disaster.
Why So Bad? Though it’s his job to protect the citizens of Los Angeles, Drebin generally causes more harm than not. A gormless klutz with zero self-awareness, he’s straddled the queen, corrupted crime scenes and put poor Officer Nordberg through more pain than a pigeon caught in a combine harvester.
If They Were In Charge Of The Coalition Government: Full body armour would be advisable – you never know what’s going to happen when Drebin’s around.
