The Thuggee
The Cult: The Thuggee spend most of their time in a massive underground cave, devoting sweat, blood and tears to Kali, (the Hindu goddess of death).
Human sacrifice is part and parcel of your membership.
How To Join : It appears that you just need to be uncommonly evil.
An all-consuming hatred of children should help, too.
Real World Equivalent: The Thuggee cult actually existed in India right up until the twentieth century, where the hooligans were mostly involved in robbing and murdering travellers. Thoroughly unpleasant.
Summersisle #1
The Cult: The inhabitants of Summersisle are an odd bunch. Far removed from society, they have reverted back to the Pagan way of life, worshipping soil, goats, wombs, that sort of thing.
Odd, but they do seem to have a lovely time.
How To Join: You need to be OK with walking around in the nip. And singing, there's lots of singing.
Whatever you do, don't mention Christianity.
Real World Equivalent: If the members of Castaway 2000 had been left on that island any longer, they'd probably've sacrificed Ben Fogle a long time ago.
Summersisle #2
The Cult: In the 2006 remake, Summersisle is inhabited by an extreme matriarchal society, whose practises don't seem to make much sense, even at the film's conclusion.
They are obsessed with bees, and house crows inside their furniture. It's just stupid.
How To Join: You need to be female, and you need to float around looking pretty with a dreamy, vacant expression.
Real World Equivalent: It's pretty much just a rather extreme form of feminism. Bloody feminists.
The Neighbourhood Watch Alliance
The Cult: *Spoiler Alert!* A group of the Sandford's most toffee-nosed fuddy-duddies join forces to make sure the village remains the nation's best.
Although they may serve scones and tea at meetings they also do stabbings and things.
How To Join: Just make sure you keep your geraniums well pruned and invest in a creepy hooded cloak. And a shotgun.
Real World Equivalent: It's likely that the NWA is inspired by the Freemasons, a secret organisation made up of the most influential members of society. They get things done.
The Hunters
The Cult: When their plane crashes on an island, a group of boys are left stranded. Without any grown-ups around, they form their own micro-societies.
Jack's band of hunters become obsessively preoccupied with the pursuit of wild pigs. They become murderous savages, painting their faces with mud and worshipping a hog's head.
How To Join: You have to be about 12, and filled with an insatiable bloodlust.
Real World Equivalent: There aren't any known examples of child-only cults, but this could make a jolly good Shipwrecked special.
Crumb's Crunchy Delights
The Cult: An intergalactic fast-food company descend upon Earth. It turns out they want humans to be their dish of the day.
The aliens congregate in a big house where, led by their leader Lord Crumb, they take some sort of ritual communion (vomit). It would be brainwashing if they didn't seem completely braindead anyway.
How To Join: It seems easy enough - Frank, from the The Astro Investigation and Defence Service (AIDS) managed to fit in well enough, just by drinking the sick.
Real World Equivalent: It's an almost minute-for-minute reenactment of a Scientology meeting! Haha, that was a joke.
The Children
The Cult: When Isaac, a boy-preacher, arrives in the sleepy town of Gatlin, Nebraska, everything changes.
He leads all the children in the town to a violent rebellion against the adults, brutally murdering them with cleavers and meat grinders.
All that effort to keep the corn yield up. They must really like corn. We'd probably just get some Green Giant.
How To Join: Like The Lord Of The Flies boys, there's an age limit. And it's pretty strict.
Real World Equivalent: We wouldn't put it past those kids down our road. They've got bricks in their pockets.
The Sisterhood
The Cult: It might be more of a coven , but we're pretty sure their parents would call it a cult.
Four girls, all outsiders in high school, get together to explore the bonkers world of witchcraft.
They're pretty cultish: They're ritualistic, chanty, symbol-worshipping nutcases.
How To Join: Got to be a bit magic. And feel sorry for yourself a lot.
Real World Equivalent: Goths (they wish).
The Jedi
The Cult: Jedi-ism is a tricky one. They have a temple, and they have an internal hierarchy. So it could be a religion - though its exclusivity suggests you've got to be "chosen". Sounds cult-ish to us.
How To Join: You've got to be pretty special. They don't just hand out those lightsabers willy-nilly.
Real World Equivalent: Well, if you count the fact that 0.8% of the British population classed themselves as Jedi in the 2001 census, there are more Jedi in the UK than there are Sikhs, Jew, or Buddhists.
The Order
The Cult: A religious group who shelter in the abandoned church. They live in fear of "the demon", and are no strangers to ritual witch-burning and other nasty practises.
When Rose turns up with her daughter Sharon, the cult pounce upon the girl, claiming that she's the re-incarnation of another girl, or some poppycock like that.
How To Join: Move to Silent Hill and have a really terrible life.
Real World Equivalent: We've had worse experiences in Reading on a Saturday night.
The People of Skull Island
The Cult: It's little wonder the people of Skull Island are a bit loopy.
There are so many ludicrously big insects and apes (not to mention the dinosaurs) skulking around in the jungle they must be a little bit on edge.
They soldier on, though. They worship lovely Kong, and feed him people.
How To Join: You've got to be comfortable with wearing tiny leaves to cover your bits.
Real World Equivalent: Naturists. Although they're usually a peaceful people. Skull Islanders are mental.
Covington Village Folk
The Cult: *Another Spoiler Alert!*
The people of Covington village are used to the simpler ways of life. But, as with any cult, there's a fair amount of brainwashing going on - not to mention the crazy cloak-wearing and scare-mongering.
How To Join: You've got to be born into this one, really. Unless you're really crazy and just want to join in for a laugh.
Real World Equivalent: The Amish, probably, for their reluctance to conform to the trappings of technology and the modern way of life. At least most Covington folk have never even heard of KFC, so there's nothing to crave.
The Vampires
The Cult: Another grey-area. OK, so, they're vampires. They have little choice but to hang out together and do weird stuff.
But they are also pretty cult-ish. They've got the authoritarian, charismatic leader (Kiefer Sutherland's David). They're extremist and ritualistic. And once you're in their gang, it's a bitch to get out of.
How To Join: Drink some blood and you're sorted.
Real World Equivalent: They're a bit like the Manson family, though not as evil, and less girly.
The Lisbon Sisters
The Cult: Possibly the most exclusive of all the movie cults, the Lisbon sisters are a really, really creepy one.
Cut off from civilisation, they form their own fantasy world, living an eerie, dreamy existence. The inexplicable suicide pact is the icing on the cake.
How To Join: You have to be female. And a Lisbon. We doubt you're eligible.
Real World Equivalent: The Nolan sisters are pretty creepy. It's those dead, soulless eyes. Their new album's out now!
The Bright And Shiny Cult
The Cult: When Jake Gyllenhaal's Jimmy runs away in a giant bubble (he has his reasons), he comes across the Bright and Shiny bus.
They live an existence where all the girls are called Lorraine, and all the boys, Todd. They play tamborines and are freakishly happy, all the time. We'd join, if they weren't so effin' annoying.
How To Join: Put your hair in bunches and get your teeth whitened.
Real World Equivalent: They're isanely happy - a bit like Mormons, if Mormons travelled around in a bus and ate nothing but sherbert dips.
The cult-tastic Horsemen is released exclusively on DVD and Blu-ray on 19th October.
