Wii owners given right to Vote

All others disenfranchised

This morning, Wii owners were greeted by the pulsing blue light of freedom and equality, as Nintendo announced the availability of the Everybody Votes Channel. No longer will they have to suffer in silence as their opinions on today's hot-button issues go unheard. What would you do with one million dollars? Do you believe in aliens? Is Nintendo awesome, super awesome, or hyper awesome 3000? These, and other questions, will be voted upon by Wii owners worldwide as a part of Nintendo's efforts to bring fun and appealing content to their new system (read: gather demographic data for sinister world domination schemes).

The Everybody Votes Channel, available for free from the Wii Shop Channel, will pose three questions per week. Up to six different players can register per console, so your kids/parents/pets/alter egos/stuffed animals/houseplants can all get in on the fun. At the end of each week, the results will be posted by region and new questions will be posed.

You can also vote on what you think the outcome will be (presumably the polls will be multiple choice questions) and, based on your success rate, your Mii will be assigned a "How Tuned in Are You?" rating. Additionally, there will be a semimonthly global poll, as well as a "Suggest A Question" feature, which will allow you to offer up poll ideas for Nintendo's consideration. Potty mouths need not apply.

Above: Now required by the National Voting Rights Act

Wii owners can download this channel and start voting today. All others are encouraged to research the lives and teachings of Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton for pointers on how to regain their lost voting privileges.

February 14, 2007

We recommend