Burn After Reading is in cinemas this Friday so we thought weâ€™d celebrate by burning every single book we own in a ritualistic sacrifice to the gods of cinema. Why? Because books are rubbish compared to films. Hereâ€™s why.
7. You canâ€™t read a gun fight.
The Terminator shot at a load of cops and cars and stuff. BUT HE DIDNâ€™T KILL ANYONE. Then he walked away and loads of them shot him in the back. It was brilliant. If only you couldâ€™ve seen it. Seriously, it really was exciting.
6. You havenâ€™t heard of Nothing Lasts Forever. You have heard of Die Hard.
Hands up who knew that Die Hard was a book first .
Okay, everyone in the room with their hands down, take a moment to curl those hands into fists and knock out the person next to you with their hand up, because they are liars and itâ€™s what John McClane would want you to do.
Now weâ€™ve got rid of them, letâ€™s allow our minds to boggle at the fact that the high-concept â€˜man gets trapped in building with terroristsâ€™ wasnâ€™t written on the back of a matchbox, but over the course of 188 pages.
That is a lot of pages when all youâ€™re really doing is describing someone walking across glass and shooting people.
5. Weâ€™d rather see a lesbian kiss than read about it.
Book version: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair kissed. It was pretty hot.