4. Your favourite game hasn’t changed in 20 years. Excellent.
You’ve been playing Dude Slasher since it first appeared on the NES, and you've followed the series ever since. Dude Slasher: Neo Extreme Unleashed recently appeared on Xbox 360, and despite the fact that every one of those money-taking reviewers gave it 1/10 and called it stale, you love the fact that it hasn't changed one bit. Sure, there was that time back in 2003 when the terrified people at Bumsoft tried to give the lead character a cerulean blue jacket instead of an aquamarine one, and you organised a lynch mob to teach the developers a lesson, but that’s all forgotten now.
At least, you assume it’s forgotten. You hear unsettling rumours that Dude Slasher: Mega Extreme Unleashed, which is coming out next year, might feature a new combat system, where A, B and X are stab, and Y is jump. That’s all wrong. It’s ALL WRONG. B, X and Y are stab. A is jump. “Are you kidding me? Gary--fire up the burning torches! We’re going back to Bumsoft, just like we did in ’03!”