The Top 7... Best flamethrowers in video games

Because America and freedom and grilling

Fire up the grill

Naturally, this is as good of an excuse as any to count off our favorite flamethrowers in gaming. Because freedom. Because grilling. Because America.

7. Regular, boring flamethrower (Return to Castle Wolfenstein)

Also helping their case is that fact that, for some reason, they're considered "silent" weapons, which means you're able to take down enemies without attracting the attention of nearby foes . This makes sense, in theory, but that all falls apart when you imagine the horrified screams of the person you've lit ablaze. Sure, it's not a "bang," but we wouldn't describe it as a whisper, either.

How do you want it cooked: Medium.

6. M2 Flamethrower (Call of Duty: World at War)

The Greatest Generation sure got their hands dirty.

It works its way into the multiplayer, too, as well as showing up in the Nazi zombie levels as a powerful one-hit-kill attack.

How do you want it cooked: Medium-well.

5. Firebats' Perdition flamethrowers (StarCraft II)

Ha! Just kidding. We know you're not thinking that. No one has ever thought that, because their dual torches are absolutely awesome.

Besides simply looking cool, their insane obsession with fire makes them hard not to love/be frightened for. Blizzard wrote some disturbing dialog for the Firebats, including some lighthearted phrases like "Need a light?", and, well, stuff like this: "Fire washes the skin off the bone and the sin off the soul. It cleans away the dirt. And my momma didn't raise herself no dirty boy." Um. Ok. We're... going to go over here and hide now.

How do you want it cooked: Medium, but two at once.

4. PFM-100 Hydrazine Torch flamethrower (Dead Space)

And up close, Isaac could use the PFM-100 Hydrazine Torch flamethrower, because apparently flamethrowers are super important on futuristic mining spaceships. Lucky, right? Otherwise Isaac would have been screwed when attacked by a swarm of small foes trying to climb into his suit and eat his flesh.

How do you want it cooked: Seeing as it's typically used for welding, we're going to say "well."

3. Pyro's flamethrower(s) (Team Fortress 2)

And yeah, we're sort of cheating here by choosing all four of the Pyro's flamethrowers, but whatever - they all serve the same purpose: allowing us to now only burn enemies to a crisp, but to torch our allies as well. No, we're not teamkilling, we're "spy checking," a time-honored tradition where Pyros will blast supposed allies with a gentle puff of flame in order to expose them as either a friend or a a spy in disguise.

How do you want it cooked: Medium is fine, but... oh, you're just going to keep burning it? You are. It's actually just gone now. So...yeah. Um... so...

2. LPO-50 flamethrower (Far Cry 2)

And because of the openness of the game, you're able to do amazing things with some gas and a match. You can light a brush fire near a building and swing to the other side, waiting to flank the now-trapped enemies. You can also light a fire near a box of ammunition, causing the bullets to heat up and discharge, firing every which way (usually into the chests of enemies). It's likely the most realistic flamethrower in the game, and using it is both frightening and awesome.

How do you want it cooked: Medium rare, but it might light the yard on fire, too.

1. Fireflower (Super Mario Bros.)

Anyway, yeah, Super Mario Bros. (and every other Super Mario _____s) Fireflower makes the list for a bunch of incredibly obvious reasons. It's one of the first flamethrowers in gaming, it's the most unorthodox (seriously, bouncing fire?), and it's the one we most wish we had access to.

Yeah, a giant, gasoline-filled backpack with a lighter seems fun, but that's an enjoyment we could technically have in the real world. A magical flower that gives us clean-as-hell white duds, fancy gloves, and the ability to toss orbs of magma the size of our head at people that piss us off? That's a flamethrower we can get behind.

How do you want it cooked: Actually, could we make it a portobello burger? We're feeling like mushrooms all of a sudden.

What did we miss?

And if you want to hear more patriotic yarns, check out the top 7 games that kicked America's ass and the top 7 worst video game presidents.