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Things in games that look a bit like penises

I've had a folder named 'Things in games that look a bit like penises' on my desktop for quite a while now. Over the course of several months it's been slowly filling up with game-related imagery that adequately fits the trouser Dennis criteria. But having not found any new pictures for a while, I figured it was time to share the collection. This is it. Enjoy!

Metal Gear Ray's arm (Metal Gear Solid)

This is the one that got the ball rolling. I'd seen this image a hundred times before, but one day - purely by chance - I glimpsed it out the corner of my eye and thought "Hey, Metal Gear Ray's arm looks a bit like a penis." And it all just went from there really.

A pig's leg (Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat)

We ran this picture as part of our 'Largest collection of monkeys in gaming EVER' article in March last year. Which shows how long I've been persevering with this. The minute I saw it, I knew I'd found another one for the folder - the front leg and trotter has all the characteristics of a penis.

A fleshy enemy (Cyber-Lip)

I was doing a spot of investigative journalism one day and it led me to this page on Hardcore Gaming 101. I couldn't believe my luck. Not only was there a great image of a thing in old-school shooter Cyber-Lip that looked like a penis, but there was also this great advert:

The advert suggests that the man prefers to play with the virtual penis on-screen, rather than let the woman play with his own actual penis. No wonder she looks pissed!

Something? (Cho Aniki)

If you like weird Japanese games, then you may recognise this. I found the shot in a GamesRadar article about Japan-only PSN games. The thing that looks like a penis also looks like a genie. A genie-penis. Or a penis-genie. Rub your balls and he shall appear! I haven't played Cho Aniki, so can't confirm whether that is an actual gameplay feature.

Bouncy stuff (LocoRoco Midnight Carnival)

Possibly the least penis-looking one of the bunch. It's a bit lumpy. But I saw it from a distance and thought the shape had a certain phallus quality about it. If you're not convinced, this is what it looks like from a distance:

I do like the fact that it says 'Boing' on the screen. Boing is a word I would associate with penises.

Mara (Persona)

One of my eagle-eyed colleagues noticed that I had a 'Things in games that look a bit like penises' folder on my desktop and said, "You've got Mara from Persona in there, right?" I didn't, so was grateful for their suggestion.

And that's it. If anyone else can think of anything in a game that vaguely resembles a penis, please let me know. It'd be great to make a 'Things in games that look a bit like penises part 2'.

BONUS! READER PENIS ENTRIES

Above: Borderlands box art penis. Spotted by Tomsta666

Above: Rahu and Mishaguji penis heads from the Shin Megami Tensei series. Recommended by Jacob816

Great job - keep them coming!

April 22, 2010

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56 comments

  • donquixote235 - May 19, 2011 6:28 p.m.

    Don't forget Mr. Friendly (http://half-life.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Friendly) from Half-Life. He was actually cut from the game before release, but please follow the link and read the "Behind the scenes" on him.
  • sutrebla15 - September 27, 2010 5:15 p.m.

    It's all definitely gotta be subliminal messaging, just like Disney does with their movie covers.
  • axelgarcia1 - July 27, 2010 3:52 a.m.

    Mara... wtf, how is that not banned lol
  • awsomemaster - June 27, 2010 11:12 p.m.

    hey i got one for you. look at the map of death moutian's crater in oot. the too "rocks" the "path"
  • SeekerofSith - April 29, 2010 8:37 p.m.

    Lol Penis Lol
  • The_Tingler - April 28, 2010 5:36 a.m.

    http://www.gamesradar.com/ps3/playstation-3/news/the-worst-box-art-of-2007/a-20071211165037654003/g-20060314115917309058 From, um, GamesRadar. Enjoy!
  • guiarherodrummer1998 - April 27, 2010 10:26 p.m.

    that's so funny. i never would have noticed any of that had it not been pointed out. Also, in New super Mario Bros. Wii, there are these little pillars in World 6 that clank together. when we saw them, me and my friend couldn't stop laughing at them because they were penis-shaped.
  • Sketch - April 26, 2010 9:54 a.m.

    My partner found a suggestive sewer/cave thing in Fallout 3... http://mycheats.1up.com/view/imageraw/63449/male_genitalia_map.jpg
  • american-idiot367 - April 26, 2010 5:03 a.m.

    lol this just made video games more awesome
  • Smeggs - April 25, 2010 4:02 a.m.

    You need to have a whole Things in games that look like Boobs/Vaginas/Anuses now.
  • Menelin - April 25, 2010 2:17 a.m.

    This might be cheating, but the xenomorph heads from Aliens Vs Predator are pretty... phallic. Plus, look at all the different skins, including "ridged" and "dome!"
  • bruce - April 25, 2010 2:02 a.m.

    Palkia from the fourth gen of Pokemon: http://www.juegosdb.com/wp-content//palkia.jpg
  • gmilf71 - April 24, 2010 4:49 a.m.

    Lol awesome. I like save almost all of these. God I'm gonna have a blast on 420chan with the "DICKS EVERYWHERE" meme/thing.
  • batman5273 - April 23, 2010 10:56 p.m.

    @LizzieCuevas, The pics are terrifying? Or Penises in general?
  • MajorMedic - April 23, 2010 10:27 p.m.

    Damn it, now every time I look at the borderlands cover I'll see a penis.
  • american101 - April 23, 2010 7:54 p.m.

    This is vaguely funny but sick ass hell.
  • minimaxi - April 23, 2010 7:35 p.m.

    Matt you should really seek help... NOT!! I'll be waiting for volume 2! :D
  • xSTARMANx - April 23, 2010 6:29 p.m.

    lol you guys are dicks
  • protospasm - April 23, 2010 6:27 p.m.

    Palkia? Am I the only one?
  • Clovin64 - April 23, 2010 5:23 p.m.

    What about the big robot Jehuty from the Zone of Enders games? Look where the cockpit is and what it looks like! THE COCKPIT! CHRIST!

Showing 1-20 of 56 comments

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