You. Your friends and family. Your classmates and coworkers. In the brave new world of the internet, everybody has power. Information is interactive, knowledge is collaborative and history is open source. The nerdy kid next door has just as much influence as a high school teacher; the dorky dude at the comic book shop has just as much voice as a college professor.
Problem is, the nerds and dorks tend to have a lot more free time - and passion - than the teachers and professors. The end result? A hilariously skewed, terrifyingly twisted view of the world in which all the wrong things are deemed "important" and worthy of serious academic discussion.
Here are 15 mind-boggling examples.
See what we mean? When thedeadliest, costliest warin the history of mankind has been trumped bya videogame franchiseabout that war, you know something's off. One involved over 50 countries and took over 70 million lives; the other involves button mashing and tea bagging.
On an encouraging note, we did have to add all the Call of Duty games' individual pages together to reach the crazy number above. On a discouraging note, we didn't have to add Call of Duty 4 and its non-WWII setting, which would have brought the total word count to an even crazier 18,927.
Alsoless important than Call of Duty!
•American Revolutionary War= 8,078
•American Civil War= 11,729
•English Civil War= 8,030
•Napoleonic Wars= 7,951
•Hundred Years' War= 7,992
•War on Terrorism= 10,674
•War on Drugs= 7,628
•Cold War= 10,117
•"War" = 9,233
While the magic menagerie of super-powered, frilly-maned, sparkly-eyed, rosy-cheeked wonder beasts might make for slightly more exciting cards than a Three of Spades, the emphasis here is still extremely wonky.
Pokerhas been around for longer than anyone can remember... thePokemon Trading Card Gamewas invented in 1996. Poker has created millionaires and forced bankruptcy... the Pokemon Trading Card Game might have resulted in some lost lunch money and a temper tantrum or two.
Alsoless important than Pokemon Trading Cards!
The truly astounding thing, however, is that he does emerge victorious against not one, not two, but TEN of this country's past commanders in chief. Yes, 23% of the men who helped make the United States the strongest nation on Earth are easily defeated by a fictional and faceless videogame character who barely knows how to speak and takes orders from a naked hologram. Go America!
The orange word count above is an average taken fromthe US Presidents beaten by the Master Chief. Here's the full, pathetic breakdown:
Leaders of the Free Worldless important than Master Chief!
•James Monroe= 2,820
•John Quincy Adams= 3,457
•John Tyler= 3,431
•Zachary Taylor= 2,235
•Millard Fillmore= 3,631
•Franklin Pierce= 4,203
•James Buchanan= 3,888
•Rutherford B. Hayes= 2,686
•James A. Garfield= 3,915
•Chester A. Arthur= 3,078